Baby's kidneys holding fluid, gender and other such things.

[xKerry]

Hello! Newbie here.

Currently 21 & 3 with my first baby. Had my scan today and the sonographer told us that one of baby's kidneys had .4mm more fluid than they'd like to see. She was very quick to reassure us that it's a very small amount, said it could be simply that the baby hadn't peed basically at the time of the scan, the kidney could just be a little slower to drain or obviously could be something else. They are rescanning me at 32 weeks. I'm not overly worried because the sonographer didn't seem worried.

However, she did tell us that since we didn't want to find out the sex of the baby not to google it because it's more common in one gender than the other. I tell my friend this, of course she googles it and tells me so I now know it's more common in boys. From my own searches though I know it can happen in girls too but less common.

I guess my question is, does the sonographer know the baby is a boy and her warning basically confirms that. Or am I reading into nothing? Obviously I'll be happy no matter what bub is but I'm feeling a little disheartened that our surprise probably isn't much of a surprise anymore.

I would hazard a guess that if she doesn’t know that she’s made an educated guess based on her professional knowledge. I don’t know how easily they can tell the sex if they’re not specifically looking for it?

Hope all is well with baby

Why did your friend do that? Did she know you don't want to know tge sex?

I had the same kidney report with my son, all was well. I also was reassured that it can just be needing to pee and they see it all the time. It sounds like the sonographer didn't want you to leap to any assumptions, one way or another, don't worry.

In my experience sonographers are not interested in the sex and don't go looking for it unless asked. She does know that because of this condition it could be a boy. But then it could still be a girl.

That's what I was wondering. I wasn't sure if she'd know the sex or not from not specifically looking. An educated guess means I can spend the rest of the pregnancy thinking that while it's probably more likely to be a boy we still don't know.

Actually meant to add that tests done when I was a teen showed I have one kidney that drains slower.

Thank you, I'm not letting my mind wander too much with it because the sonographer didn't seem concerned and they are happy to leave me another 11 weeks before rescanning. A lot of what I've read suggests mild cases like this resolve either before or shortly after birth possibly with the aid of a low dose of antibiotics.

So I get that you wanted the surprise etc.

But honestly, in the long run, it really doesn’t matter and you’ll wonder why you cared!!!

Let it be. Not worth stressing over ✌️

I was thinking it might be the other way round. She thinks it is a girl and doesn’t want you to go out and buy a load of blue paint.......

And the whole thing is not 100% anyway. My “niece” turned out to have an extra bit! And that was after they specially looked!

This is nothing to do with the sonographer. Why did your friend google and tell you stuff when she knew you didn't want to know the sex?

About the condition, it's natural for you to try and find out more. It seems the necessary medical information clashed with your wishes not to know, but I think in this situation this is only right.

Hope everything is fine with the baby.

Oh more replies while I was typing there. Thank you everyone, I feel a little better now.

Yep my friend knew, don't know why she told me and I ended up bursting into tears. It seems so silly, I know. Of course it doesn't matter at all which gender bub is I just felt a bit gutted earlier.

I was thinking like a lot of you have said that she knows it could be a boy but I suppose I wanted a little confirmation on whether they actually look for gender even if you don't want to know.

Thanks again :)

@Nectarines I'm the world's worst worrier. I worry myself daft about things. I'm awful. I think I just wanted to try to put the idea out of my head that I definitely knew.

@ChardonnaysPrettySister I know though the sonographer probably gave me enough information because in all honestly, from reading I didn't find much more than she'd told me and if my friend had said nothing I probably would have stopped myself from going looking at least until after the scan at 32 weeks. I have no idea why my friend told me and I'm honestly gutted and annoyed with her. I could cope with knowing that piece of info if it was vital but I left the hospital today saying I was leaving things as what the sonographer has said and taking it as it comes. Had that piece of info come from the sonographer I probably would have been a lot less upset because I'd have figured she thought I needed to know.

@Mumoftwoyoungkids that's a fair point actually, it could be. As long as I can let myself keep a little bit of it could be either...

Oh that must have been a shock!

It was a bit. Poor lad spent the first week of his life dressed in pink and without a name......

You will never know. You will either have a boy and assume she knew or you will have a girl and assume she didn’t. Just because one sex is more likely to have something show on scan doesn’t mean it is a guarantee that is the sex your having. I honestly wouldn’t get worked up over it or fall out with a friend as your friend is no more the wiser than you are at this moment

Just wanted to add that our baby has been diagnosed with a kidney issue that is more common in boys. We are having a girl

I have hydronephrosis in both kidneys and one very slow draining kidney due to a narrowing at the junction where the kidney meets the ureter. It doesn’t cause me any problems. I’m female.

I've calmed myself down a great deal. I was very uptight yesterday, worried, emotional, exhausted and jet lagged from flying home from Canada a few days ago.

My mum works in the hospital and had a chat with one of the renal doctors today who printed off some information for her to give me and told me to only look on that website because then I know I'm getting accurate information but he was very reassuring that in most cases it corrects before birth and only a small number of babies need follow up after birth.

He also said although it's more common in boys, it's not that it's rare in girls so unless I've been told then I should continue to assume it's 50/50. He said the sonographer probably didn't even get a good enough look to be sure if she wasn't having a detailed look at that area.

Thank you everyone for your replies :)

So glad you’ve had some good advice and info and are feeling better. I was told that what I have isnt uncommon and it was only discovered when I had a scan for somethIng unrelated to kidney problems in my late 20s. I was told that most people never realise they have it or like me discover they have it by chance.

This is really common whether it’s a boy or girl but is usually diagnosed after the baby is born.

did you end up having a girk or boy?

@Inaya05 I had a boy

Did you forgive your friend? It was a pretty weird move to tell you when they knew you didn’t want to find out.

@YelloCar yeah I did and she’ll actually be a bridesmaid at my wedding next year. She’d had a little boy 2 months before my scan and I think she was excited at the thought of another little boy for him to grow up with. I still think it was a pretty rubbish move but I’m alright with it now

I am facing same issues with my unborn child. I am only 18 weeks. I hope everything turned out Well after baby’s birth.
i don't know gender but i think i am having girl. It looks like girl parts in anomaly scan.
i know it is rare in girls but i dont want to think negative. Just be positive.