Alone for 12 weeks can

[LucyAcue]

I've got my 12 week scan on the 5th but I'm going alone. Me and the dad aren't on good terms we aren't together, he'd like to come but he can't as he is on a training course, the dates for the courses can't be shifted. I don't have supportive family and my friends don't live near me.
Has anyone been to a 12 week scan alone? I guess I'm just feeling disappointed ☹️

Not the 12 week scan but I went to the 20 week scan by myself. DP couldn't get the time off. It was fine.

Hi OP, I went to all my scans alone. (Parents in another country) I much preferred it.

My ex hasn't ever been on the scene and Lord may it continue. Just remember to drink loads before the scan and get photos.

I had all my scans alone - DH was in the army and was overseas. It was fine - just as exciting on my own.

@Scrumptiousbears yeah I'm gonna be going to every scan alone I think so I'm
Sure I'll get used to it lol

I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel you have anybody there to support you.
I'm sure that when I went to the 12 week and 20 week scan at my local hospital there was a sign up to say you could ask for somebody to be in there to support you so perhaps ask at the reception desk when you go in.
On a positive note, it will be a nice personal experience for you and little one and perhaps it's better that it is just you rather than having somebody that you are not close to or is a stranger.
The sonographer will do all they can to reassure you but will obviously be focused on doing the checks and measurements.

Congratulations and hope all goes well with your pregnancy :)

@Nonotmenori hey! Thank you for your reassurance it's all been doom and gloom! Did they give you any photos or did you have to ask? 😊

@cakeordeath89 thank you very much!! Xx

DH wasn't able to make at least two (I had extra scans). Think of it as a medical procedure, not some kind of emotional moment.

Hi Lucy, no they gave them to me. I had so many scans and photos at the end I didn't know what to do with them all! Honestly you will be fine. Xx

It’s different being alone for the scan and then being able to tell an excited partner / family member, and being totally alone which I guess you are. I would suggest trying to hire a doula or a private midwife if you can afford to, as then you will have someone to support you throughout the birth and afterwards too. Do join antenatal classes or mums groups in your area too as you can share any concerns, worries, or just your excitement etc with them.

I'm sorry to hear that you and baby's father aren't on good terms. However, if he does want to come, have you tried to re-arrange the scan date? a lot of women don't have their 12 week scan until 13 weeks etc.

it then solves the problem of you going alone (assuming you are feeling that it is a problem), and baby's father also gets to come which will be nice for him (even though you aren't on great terms).

I wouldn't be too bothered if OH couldn't come to any scans, as I see it as something that is necessary just like going for a blood test etc. you will get scan photo's to show people anyway, but if you are after someone to be there simply for emotional support I would definitely look at changing the date for your scan so the father can be there, if that would make you feel better.

x

I went to the 12 week alone and it was so lovely seeing baby's face profile for the first time! It never occurred to me that DH should come because he's a workaholic and missed 90% of all our scans anyway. I had a tricky pregnancy and had around 10 detailed heart scans all of which I went alone to. Each time there was the potential of hearing the baby was seriously ill or passed away. Those were highly stressful and I resented DH a bit for missing them, but I still treasured seeing baby on screen each time. Every scan is an amazing bonding experience and you honestly do not need the father there!

I've had about 5 scans (I live abroad and they do more here) and DH only came to one. I didn't see any point in him missing work. To be honest, it didn't make any difference to me whether he was there or not but I was glad he could come to one just because it allowed him to feel it was all a bit more real.

I know on TV you always see the couple there together, holding hands and crying at the sight of their baby but most of my scans have felt quite... clinical! I really enjoyed looking at the picture afterwards, more than the actual scan experience.

About a third of the women in the waiting room are alone so don't worry about that

i was alone for the 12 week scan, wasn't meant to be alone, just how it turned out, i did find being in the waiting room alone quite upsetting/daunting, but once i went in for the scan it was fine, it did bring it home to me how alone i actually was in all this, but after feeling upset about it, it's made me stronger, it's made me realise that i need to step up and be everything for this baby, it's helped me bond more.

just because things don't pan out how you originally planned, it doesn't have to be a bad thing, in fact, it can be the best thing in the world.

hope it all goes well x

I went to just about all my scans alone. I was never alone because I had my baby with me. I was so excited to see him that sadness never crossed my mind.
Baby and I are still very tight 13 years later.
Be excited not sad. 😁😘

Yes, me for our third. I was a little nervous. He came for the 10 week scan, but had Work meeting. But I get nervous before scans until after the 20 week scan. I told dh he has to come to the 20 week one. That one is more nerve racking as they go through each organ. I know a few people that have gone alone to the 12 week scans.

Could you change the date of the scan so someone could come? If not baby’s dad then maybe a friend could travel to be with you?

Women do attend for scans alone and in the vast majority of cases it’s a positive experience and there’s no problem but I think it’s always preferable to have a friend or partner with you where possible just in case there’s any unexpected bad news.

Thank you all 🥰🥰