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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

SIL also pregnant

14 replies

sianyb83 · 24/07/2019 17:39

My brothers wife is also pregnant...she is due 2 weeks before me.
It is her first child, and our second.
I've not thought much about it, but as pregnancy is progressing it feels like more of n issue! Constant comparisons for example, what is she buying, whats she doing for bad shower, her childcare plans etc...she is giving everything a lot of thought and discussion but I'm not as yet - mainly as I know nothing goes to plan so no point organizing until there here really!
I just wondered if anyone else in this position and what advice they would give?
During my first pregnancy my own sister was pregnant - but it was never an issue, but we were having different genders, whereas me and my bro's wife both having girls this time.

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TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 24/07/2019 17:42

Those 'comparisons' just sound like chit chat, tbh.

Just talk about something else.

SuzieQ10 · 24/07/2019 17:44

It's her first and it's your second. So it's quite different. The whole thing is new for her and so she's probably just overly excited, buying stuff etc. I'm pregnant too & haven't bought anything yet (don't plan to until a lot closer / once born) as I know how much of the stuff gets used once and shoved in a cupboard.

Don't read too much into what she's doing. Everyone's different. She might even be looking to you for advice / opinion since you've been there before.

Angelinthenightx · 24/07/2019 18:46

She is just having baby talk with u as it is hard to find someone to do that with, what is it thats bothering u about it? Me & my sil were pregnant at the same time twice,made us close,we had lots of baby talk.

Aragog · 24/07/2019 18:52

I think part of the difference is that it is her first baby and your second. Most people are far more invested in getting everything sorted and organised, and buying things, much earlier with a first and it being a priority in their conversation for them.

I also thing the different for you with last time is last time it was your sister, which is a close relationship normally than with a SIL.

PCohle · 24/07/2019 18:52

I think it sounds nice! It'll give you lots to chat about and your DC will hopefully be close as they grow up.

I wouldn't think of it as her or anyone else making comparisons - I think most people expect you to be much more laid back with your second.

twirlsinfrock · 24/07/2019 18:54

She is probably making conversation. Or trying to seek your advice as it is your second baby. Or perhaps even she is really excited that you are pregnant together! Make the best of it- growing up close in age to cousins is lovely.

BelulahBlanca · 24/07/2019 18:54

You sound awful. She’s excited and wants to make conversation.

Mummyshark2018 · 24/07/2019 19:00

My sil and I were expecting at the same time. My first. She had had a stillborn and several mc's. We both enjoyed having someone to chat to. You sound a bit mean. If you like this person then I would just engage in chit chat. She is probably looking to you for advise.

Lamentations · 24/07/2019 19:03

I agree that it's her first and your second so you're being a bit hard on her wanting to talk about every detail.

Be nice.

NannyPear · 24/07/2019 19:09

I just went through similar. Due my second less than three weeks before my close friend was due her first. We had loads of baby chat during pregnancy. She did come up with some stuff where I inwardly thought "hmm wait and see if that's the case..." But most first time mums are the same, myself included. No one has a clue what it's like until they have kids. She probably feels like you're the best one to chat with regarding baby stuff, because if you aren't pregnant or don't have babies you don't really care.

harrypotterfan1604 · 24/07/2019 19:10

I think it massively depends on the type of person your SIL is. Mine is a massive selfish cow who will go out of her way to outdo me and her brother. So when I was 6 months pregnant and she announced she was 3 months pregnant and with twins I was heartbroken.
There’s a whole long story to it but we know she stopped taking her pill on purpose and didn’t tell the unsuspecting man (who wasn’t even her husband she was having an affair) she did it on purpose because I was pregnant the entire family realises this except my in laws. Since the announcement she had to just go one better than me all the time, my pregnancy was shit but no matter how poorly I was nobody gave a shit because she had 2 so obviously was much more ill when in reality she had a fab pregnancy especially considering it was a multiple.

With it being her first it sounds innocent but only you know what she’s like as a person.
I’d just ignore it if I were you although I do know how hard that is when pregnancy hormones are raging

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 24/07/2019 19:12

Agree its probably because its her first and your second, no things dont go to plan but im sure everyone probably had ideas before their baby was born of what they would and wouldn't do, that then didn't work out!

dozy12345 · 24/07/2019 19:15

oh she's excited - don't you remember that excitement? The first pregnancy goes so slowly, the second one too fast! Be kind. You come across as wanting advice on ways to get SIL to hit the mute button, which is sad. It's easy to answer, you see her a bit less.

Rememberallball · 24/07/2019 19:27

Yes, and no!! DH and I are expecting twins (my first children but DH 3rd & 4th) and, DSS and his partner are expecting their second together and his 3rd with due dates just 4 days apart!! They are due just before us but, because ours are twins, they will be delivered at least 4 weeks early if not sooner!!

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