It’s positive....or is it? :(

[lia76]

Hi
Not sure this is a very common problem so I don’t know if anyone will be able to advise...but here goes!!
I have been with my partner for 4 years now, we don’t live together due to family ties in different cities, but we see each other every week and he co-parents my 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage.
My partner has 4 children who he has a strained relationship with due to personal issues with the child’s mother. Since we met he has always been adamant he does not want anymore children.
I have been on the pill during the entire relationship, briefly on the implant but was taken out due to mood swings/depression. I have been pregnant twice and had terminations both times.
I have just found out I am pregnant again, about 6 weeks and am terrified to tell him as I know he will expect me to terminate the pregnancy.
I have even contemplated not telling him until I am 12 weeks + and not going to the doctors just waiting until I know it’s too late to terminate.
Wondered if anyone could advise me on what they think I should do? Thanks in advance xxx

If you want to keep the pregnancy then be prepared to go alone. He clearly doesn’t want -is incapable of being a father- to more children. Please don’t hide the pregnancy in an ill conceived attempt into making him a willing father, he won’t be. If you want the baby and are prepared to go it alone then go ahead with the pregnancy but you still need to tell him at some point. If you wouldn’t want to continue a pregnancy without him then you definitely need to tell him sooner rather than later.

He doesn't sound worth your concern. Your life plans are not compatible. Do what [you] want to do.

Tbh, if I had conceived twice already whilst being on the pill then I'd also be using condoms. Sounds like your attempts at contraception have been half assed tbh. Maybe you should advise your DP that he should have been using condoms or had a vasectomy if he really didn't want any more children as your track record shows that the pill isn't very effective for you two.

I’m sorry for the judgemental commment above. That’s so unnecessary. But the sentiment remains. You want a baby and your OH doesn’t.

Do you want to stay in the relationship or do you want a baby? I guess that is the question. You simply can’t conceal a pregnancy in order to manipulate the relationship. It just won’t work like that. It does sound like an either/or situation. Could you talk to your OH, and explain the circumstances? And let him know that a termination isn’t on the cards for you? It might not be the end, despite what you think. His ex is not you....