I dunno whether this is hormonal or circumstantial but I just feel terrible today and cant stop crying.
My pregnancy was unplanned and came at an already stressful time for my partner and I -partners ex was trying to stop him seeing his DD from that relationship and the whole thing was heading for court. My partner and I after a extremely stressful month or so decided to keep baby. My feelings towards motherhood have been ambivalent throughout the pregnancy.
Fast forward through stressful events that eventually caused me to collapse at work with some sort of breakdown- was off a month, moving house, working on and letting my house out and partner being in and out of court with his ex over their daughter, my dad ending up in intensive care and my family being almost totally negative and unsupportive of me and partner through everything we've been through. My partner eventually got a good result in the courts 2-3 weeks back when he got shared residence of his daughter. We had some respite from that source of stress but only for a little while. Last week my partner got a solicitors letter from his ex demanding 3+ times the CSA assesment amount due for child maintainence. His divorce is now going through as well. I know if she doesnt get an inflated amount of money for child support she will try to go back on the clean financial break agreement they agreed in mediation and it will end it up slugged out with solicitors in the courts again.
I been hardly able think about baby, our focus seems to be with other people messing about with our lives. I just want it to stop, let us have some normalish time if one can have normalish time with a newborn.
I dont know whether this low mood is hormonal or circumstance. I just want to be able to enjoy life with the bloke I love...