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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Working, maternity leave and small age gaps

35 replies

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 10:50

Currently on maternity leave and have fallen pregnant again.

I’ll be returning to work at about 21 weeks pregnant if everything goes OK with the pregnancy.

I feel like a crap employee for going on maternity leave again so soon. Thing is, we might want a third child and I’d like a smallish age gap.

I don’t want to annoy work but at the same time, I don’t want to put having a family on hold. I’d quite like the baby stage done with as soon as I can.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

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SleepingStandingUp · 17/07/2019 10:55

Well what's done is done, hopefully your pregnancy will be great and work will essentially have to deal with it. Doesn't mean you won't get tuts and looks but baby pure pregnant, that's the end of it.

I'd def check what happens Re mat leave pay if you're only back at work for four months. Is there any scope to go back earlier depending on how old baby will be with current plans?
Can you afford child care for two under two or do you or DH need a career break?

I'd deal with two under two first before you plan no3. You might decide you want a bigger gap

JustTheCrowsAndTheBeef · 17/07/2019 12:43

As @SleepingStandingUp says, what's done is done so there's no point worrying about pissing off work now. Your priority needs to be to check the maternity pay policy as you are unlikely to accrue the number of weeks' service between pregnancies to receive the full maternity package for your second mat leave.

It would be courteous to let work know in advance rather than turning up on your RTW with a 21-week bump but how you approach this will depend on your sector and your employer.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/07/2019 12:45

Just have a chat with HR about return to work qualifying periods for mat pay.

kelly14 · 17/07/2019 13:59

Not quite as close but I went went back to work in March after a years maternity leave and was about 8 weeks pregnant.
Only have 8 weeks and I’m off on maternity again.
Luckily I am entitled to our companies enhanced maternity leave again which you don’t have to pay back regardless if you return or not. But I plan on going back as only work 3 days a week since going back so works well for me as parents and in laws look after him those days.
My manager was fantastic and haven't had anyone say anything negative ( to my face lol) but everyone at work is pretty lovely x congratulations x

Rumplesmoothskin · 17/07/2019 14:03

I went back 6 months pregnant and worked right up to the second one. I didn't hear any moaning but it's shift work so I don't have my own workload as such.

stucknoue · 17/07/2019 14:35

Unless you are very high earning your nursery fees will be higher than you earn. If it's a larger company see if you can negotiate unpaid leave for 3-4 years, for a small company you could bankrupt them, seriously, just one maternity leave is tricky, they have kept your job open and you are now seriously saying you want 2 more back to back maternity leaves??? It's no wonder women of child bearing age can be overlooked for employment. I support women to have families but for more than one in quick succession you need to be fair to your employer, I quit.

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColaFreezePop · 17/07/2019 15:21

@Stucknoe - sod off

MrsWalkz · 17/07/2019 17:25

Wow quit her job? You must be a boss with a pissed of attitude at a few pregnant employees lol.

I fell pregnant whilst on maternity leave and when I was due to go back I was already 30 weeks, so I just used my whole holiday entitlement in one go and then restarted maternity leave.

Don't feel bad for it, surely your choices regarding family and what age gap you want is more important than how people at work look at you. And even less important of what those on Mumsnet think 👀

Original poster

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 17:44

Thanks all. I did have a slightly abrupt response to @stucknoue so I asked for it to be deleted.

@stucknoue - you know nothing about the company I work for and I doubt that you would be as selfless in real life 🙄

Thanks to all the other responses. Now I’ve thought about it more, I don’t think we’d go for a third. Not until the 2nd is at least 2. I hear the jump from 1 to 2 can be brutal at times.

I only get SMP anyway and can afford nursery fees for two children. I don’t live in London if that makes a difference so my nursery fees aren’t as brutal as it can be elsewhere in the UK.

I can’t do anything about this pregnancy. I mean it’s early days so anything could happen. I always wanted more than one child so I’m not going to terminate because of my job and I’m not going to quit a job I love because of having a small age gap. I’m going to let work know at my 12 weeks scan.

OP posts:

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 17/07/2019 18:28

I think the responses to stuck are a bit harsh - OP you did ask for people's thoughts and we are all strangers to you after all and won't all have the same opinion

You said yourself you felt like a crap employee....

Back to back maternity leave is very burdensome to employers that's just a fact whether we want to acknowledge it or not and being women of child bearing age does make us less attractive To employers whether we like it or not and I can understand why - but I think I read somewhere that If you have back to back maternity leave over a certain number of years they can terminate your employment anyway and also depending on when you start the next leave you may not even qualify for SMP

chamenanged · 17/07/2019 19:07

I think I read somewhere that If you have back to back maternity leave over a certain number of years they can terminate your employment anyway

Do you actually think you read that somewhere? Where?

Original poster

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 19:14

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted - I asked for opinions but telling me I should quit my job and that I’m going to bankrupt my company (i’m not) is ridiculous

I’ve already said I’d leave a bigger gap between the second & third child, if I even go for a third.

Also, I get that woman of child baring age are seen as less employable as a result but I’m not going to terminate this pregnancy on the basis of that. I doubt most people would be that selfless for the good of womankind.

According to this link, I’d still be eligible for pay and I’m not going to be continuously on maternity leave. I’ll be done having children quickly if I don’t have a third so I can get on with my career:

worksmart.org.uk/work-rights/family-friendly-work/maternity-leave/my-maternity-leave-about-finish-and-i-am-pregnant

I’m really panicking now though!

OP posts:

Original poster

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 19:18

And those saying it makes woman of child hating she less employable (I don’t disagree) but have you taken maternity leave?

OP posts:

JustTheCrowsAndTheBeef · 17/07/2019 19:29

Unless your employer has arrangements which differ from the usual statutory policies, you won’t get full SMP if you return to work 21 weeks pregnant. You would need to be back at work at around 17 weeks. If you can manage on Maternity Allowance then no problem but if your second mat leave is financially reliant on full SMP then you may wish to consider returning to work four weeks earlier than planned.

Original poster

Muggymuggymugmug · 17/07/2019 19:46

17 weeks sounds OK so I’ll do that - thanks @justthecrowsandthebeef

OP posts:

NeatFreakMama · 17/07/2019 19:50

I think it does take the piss a bit if I'm honest. I think the current pregnancy is one thing but to actively do it again is a bit much imo.

NeatFreakMama · 17/07/2019 19:51

Sorry just to add that yes, I've taken maternity and I'm pregnant with my second now so soon going on maternity.

Direwolfwrangler · 17/07/2019 19:59

@Muggymuggymugmug I think you need to give your employer notice if you intend to return to work before the end of the full year entitlement. I had to give 8 weeks notice that I wanted to stop maternity leave and move onto annual leave.

The other thing to do is get some advice from HR on your annual leave entitlement and getting it carried forward. You’ll end up with tons!

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 17/07/2019 20:19

No where in this thread has anyone suggested you terminate your pregnancy!

As far as employee rights go you are protected if you have two periods of back to back maternity leave BUT not a third

chamenanged · 17/07/2019 20:47

As far as employee rights go you are protected if you have two periods of back to back maternity leave BUT not a third

Says who?!

summertime06 · 17/07/2019 21:07

I went back to work after my first maternity leave and was 5 or 6 months pregnant. It was fine, I don't think anyone is irreplaceable no matter what you do, they'll sort out cover for you, that just comes with the nature of the job when you're an employer, so don't feel guilty.

I remember that the first bit of your SMP where you get 90% of your average earnings is based on a particular 8 week period. So to make sure I was getting 90% of my usual wage and not 90% of SMP I had make sure I was getting my usual wage over that 8 week period. I had loads of annual leave accrued so I just used that up before I actually started back to work, so I didn't end up having to go back that early. I do remember spending ages making sure I'd worked out the dates properly!

I wouldn't bother thinking about number 3 yet! Two under two is hard work, although I love it and I love the small age gap. But I actually think a third would break me!

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 17/07/2019 22:03

@chamenanged
Check out maternity action.org

You can take 2 consecutive periods of maternity leave - after that you aren't entitled to the same rights eg expecting job to be held open, being found another job during redundancy etc - remember at that point you would be expecting an employer to keep you on when you hadn't worked a day in 3 years - pretty cheeky if you ask me!

Bambamber · 17/07/2019 22:12

The SMP for your second maternity leave will be calculated based on your wages in the 2 consecutive pay slips before the qualifying week (25 weeks pregnant). If you don't earn enough you won't be entitled to SMP at all, just maternity allowance

AllFourOfThem · 17/07/2019 22:28

I took two maternity leaves back to back. My baby died in the neonatal unit and I was desperate for another baby. I prioritised my need above that of the massive company I work for. Honestly, I don’t care what you think @NeatFreakMama and thankfully my managers were very understanding.

I got SMP during my qualifying period which meant I qualified for another year’s SMP.

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