SIL expecting DC#1 (rainbow baby) - gift ideas?

[zinrepus]

I have just found out my brother and his wife are expecting. They've undergone fertility treatments and their first pregnancy ended in a fairly traumatic miscarriage around 20 weeks (I suppose many miscarriages are traumatic, but there was also a fair amount of family BS which accompanied everything, let's just say I don't envy my SIL a darn thing).

As such, they took their time before letting people know (they are 22 weeks along). We're seeing them next week and I'd love to have a gift for them, but of course after last time they are less in a celebratory mood and rather much more cautious.

I'd love to get them something personable and sweet, but as of late we have instated a bit of a moratorium on gifts for gifting sake...anyone willing to share anything they received under similar circumstances that was helpful/appreciated? Or things to avoid? I don't have any DC myself yet, so while I can be empathetic, I know I can't really understand what's she's going through...

I'd probably just wait until she's had the baby. A friend of mine in a similar situation specifically said she didn't want any gifts or cards at all until the baby was born.

How about making something like a sampler or some knitting? That way you don't give it to them until the baby's here but they will know you thought of them for a long time.

I was given a crocheted rainbow blanket. I've actually kept it and not used it with my son yet but I think it's a lovely nod to my lost babies and a sign they haven't been forgotten to everyone xx

Wait until the baby is born for baby gifts. A 20 week miscarriage is likely to make them really overcautious and maybe a little superstitious too. Nothing to stop you getting a gift for them though - am sure they’d love a weekend away at a spa or high tea / dinner somewhere nice.

Agree with PP’s, wait until the baby is born. A rainbow sleepsuit/blanket would be a nice touch.

Maybe get your SIL something nice that's not overly baby related. The nicest and most useful thing I have got pre-baby has been some belly moisturiser and body oil. It was around 22 weeks that I noticed my skin was drier than usual and my belly started to itch with the skin stretching.

I'd save anything personal/baby related to later on.

I'm pregnant after miscarriage and I would be quite upset if I received any gifts just now.

You can get rainbow bracelets which I quite like as it acknowledges both of her babies which to me is very important (although not to everyone's taste) but I would absolutely not give it until after the birth.

Your intentions are lovely and if you want to give them something before the baby’s born I’d go with the suggestions above about a nice thing for them to do rather than have. We had a wonderful night away and an afternoon tea the week before I was due, s last fancy date! So you could get them a voucher or money for a meal or get her a pregnancy massage or some nice toiletries.

I barely bought anything for our baby before she’d safely arrived and felt very antsy about gifts from others after a bunch of losses. Pregnancy after loss is nerve wracking as hell and I had to put everything we had to buy in a room and shut the door as it stressed me out seeing it.

As others have said above - I'd wait.
Im almost 30w pregnant with twins now after having had recurrent miscarriages - and I REALLY don't want anyone to tempt fate. Lovely friends of mine were so excited about us finally being pregnant that they wanted to throw a baby shower - but I said no thanks - and asked them to please wait til the babies are here before celebrating.
It's lovely of you to want to do something - if you really wanted to get something now - I agree some stretch mark cream would be ok, but nothing actually for the baby. I can recommend the neal's yard 'Mother's balm' as being v nice for a growing belly! X

As others have said, I would wait for a baby gift, but if you wanted to give them a gift, I think a little something for her/them would be lovely. Something to do with pampering or voucher for movies or dinner - something nice for them to do together that they might not do for a while after having a baby.

If you really wanted to get something how about a little pamper gift set, bath & body set or a nice pair of slippers or robe for mum.

Small token for your db. Ale's/ chocs/ something hobby related.

Definitely something for her/them. Nice chocolates, posh shower gel kind of thing.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts! By and large the response is what I was expecting. I've realised they're doing a babymoon in Ireland this August, perhaps it would be better for me to give them some cash to go towards an afternoon tea or something (they're coming from the US, so won't have much exposure to such things previously). May go for some of the personal pamering goods in the meantime, though.

My friend makes rainbow blankets. She has a page on Facebook called Sunny Buttons. She sells lots to people buying for rainbow babies.