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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Worrying about ultrasound & dates

28 replies

Afrog · 14/07/2019 11:29

Only 4+3 with DC2 so super early days.

We had sex on the 22nd & 26th June. The 26th was the predicted day of ovulation.

With DC1, I had an 8 week scan which showed the due date as 13th Feb but when I had the 12 week scan, the due date was changed to the 11th. DD was super overdue it doesn’t matter anyway! And she was conceived on holiday where we dtd every day.

I’m worried in case this will happen again as I’m worried DH is going to think the baby isn’t his (it very much is!)

Has anyone had an ultrasound scan and the dates not changed? I think my due date atm is 19th March based on first day of last period.

OP posts:
ronniemipperton · 14/07/2019 11:33

It’s normal for dates to change. It’s not normal for your DH to then assume the baby isn’t his :/

Are you OK?

Greenolivesorblackolives · 14/07/2019 11:41

Why would he assume it isn’t his? Has he made suggestions before?
Very normal for dates to adjust.

Original poster
Afrog · 14/07/2019 11:53

He hasn’t yet but I just know he will if the dates change he’ll be suspicious.

It took us a year to conceive DD but this time we only had sex once during the ovulation period so

OP posts:
afternoontwee · 14/07/2019 11:56

The estimated due date at scan is worked out on the size of the baby and how that matches up to the size of the average baby at that time. It’s not an exact science as baby can just be bigger or slightly smaller than the average, they don’t grow at exact rates. For example, ours was 6 days ahead of our dates at 12 week scan, 2 days behind EDD at 20 week scan, and a whole 10 days ahead of EDD measurements at 32 weeks because baby is in the middle of a growth spurt and is measuring big.

Has your husband made accusations like this before?

Pipandmum · 14/07/2019 12:00

The dates are estimated anyway.. my son was born at over 10lbs at 37 weeks. Everyone thought I’d got the dates wrong but as I had my period on my honeymoon, was very regular and he was born 37 weeks later I knew I was right. Baby just measured big.
But like other posters - why do you think your husband might be suspicious???

NerrSnerr · 14/07/2019 12:02

Will he really be suspicious that you've slept with someone else? If that is genuinely the case I would think about your relationship and maybe consider some counselling before the baby arrives. It's really not a normal reaction in a marriage (unless you are giving him reasons to suspect you're cheating but i suspect that is not the case).

PatchworkElmer · 14/07/2019 12:09

They changed my dates by over a week. Not for a second did DH think that the baby wasn’t his. This isn’t normal behaviour OP- are you ok?

hadthesnip2 · 14/07/2019 12:34

I dont know many men who would be that aware of dates around cycles tbh. Less the amount of men who would assume the baby isnt theirs because of it.

I fear there is more to this than what you have posted.

Original poster
Afrog · 14/07/2019 12:40

@hadthesnip2 - more to this? How so?

Thanks all.

I dunno I just don’t know if I trust his reactions or not.

I should add that I have PND so probably aren’t thinking clearly but I guess I’ll find out at the scans!

I’d never be unfaithful and I have a 4 month old so no time for anything like that anyway Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Afrog · 14/07/2019 12:41

He also only knows about the cycles as I mentioned how we’d only had sex once during ovulation period but took a year to conceive DD so

OP posts:
fedupandlookingforchange · 14/07/2019 12:43

I was told by a doctor that scan dates can be out be a week either way.

Anothertempusername · 14/07/2019 12:45

Why are you having another child with a man who thinks you cheat on him whilst you have a 4 month old? I don't even have time to take a shit with a 3 month old. Somethings not right here.

JuniperNarni · 14/07/2019 12:47

Due date by period isn't accurate either and having sex on a day doesn't guarantee conception that day, sperm can live for 5 days. None of it is exact and for due dates to move a bit is completely normal.

Are you okay OP? Worrying about your partner assuming the baby isn't his because a due date changing is a little concerning.

00100001 · 14/07/2019 12:48

I'd be worried if you're worried that by your due date changing by 2 days, that your DH will suspect you if cheating.... This isn't his first baby, so surely he knows that dates change and are based on the size of baby.... and baby comes when baby comes Confused

SayNoToCarrots · 14/07/2019 12:54

The fact that its taken less time conceive your second means nothing. Fertility isn't cumulative - you dont have a better chance because you have been trying a while. You got lucky a year in with your first, and on your first go with your second.

00100001 · 14/07/2019 12:54

"I dunno I just don’t know if I trust his reactions or not."

Why would there be any reaction apart from "ok" or possibly asking why it changed, to have it explained to result in "ok"

Confused
Fundays12 · 14/07/2019 12:56

It took me 2 weeks to conceive our first child, 9 months to conceive our second plus ovulation kits and one night with a forgotten condom after too many drinks with dh to conceive our third surprise baby (wasn’t even that close to ovulation). How long you take to conceive for one pregnancy has no bearing on the next one.

As for your dh questioning if the baby is his because the dates dont exactly match up to what he expects then I would be questioning if the marriage is one worth being in. He needs to trust you as with no trust you have very little.

Benes · 14/07/2019 12:57

My dates changed a number of times ...that's completely normal.

It is not normal for your husband to assume the baby isn't his

Kinsters · 14/07/2019 13:00

Yeah its not a normal reaction op, my due date changed by a week and meant we only had sex once on the day before and still conceived (plus DH was working away all that week). He would never think that I'd cheated on him.

mynameiscalypso · 14/07/2019 13:05

The sonographer was amazed at my 12 weeks scan that it, an early scan I had and my LMP date were all the same. She said it's very rare there are so many variables. Are you getting help for your PND? Thanks

Original poster
Afrog · 14/07/2019 13:07

Thanks again all

I’ll let you know when we do have the scan (assuming all goes well with the pregnancy)

I’m going to have an 8 week scan like I did last time so I wonder what they’ll put the date as then 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Rememberallball · 14/07/2019 19:03

Given sperm can last up to 6-7 days from ejaculation to fertilisation and you had sex twice during the relevant window for being highly fertile not to mention that ovulation can happen 12-36 hours after you get a peak of luteinising hormone and dates can easily change between finding out you’re pregnant and having your dating scan around 12 weeks!!

TokenGinger · 14/07/2019 19:09

My first due date was 24th May based on my LMP. Second due date was 12th June based on dating at an 8 week scan. My third due date was 7th June after my 12 week scan and remained my official due date.

DS arrived 31st May.

motherofcats81 · 16/07/2019 21:20

My dates have changed and I only had sex once around that time so I know exactly when I conceived. As PPs have said if they change your due date they are not saying the date you conceived is different, it's worked out by gestational age which can just be that the baby is a bit bigger/smaller than normal.

But like others, I think it is worrying that he might suspect this and that you don't trust his reactions. I hope you are ok.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 16/07/2019 21:26

Okay, this is really worrying. Either your DH is paranoid, jealous and controlling and you need help, or your mental health is really not in a good place and you need help.

How is your PND affecting you? How was your relationship with DH before the baby?

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