I want my baby born early.

[bgui]

Myself and my partner have tried for years to have a baby - we are extremely, extremely grateful that I am now 33wks and I couldn't be more excited and full of love if I tried. Being a mother is so natural to me, and I feel nothing but love for my beautiful baby already.

However i am ashamed to admit - I absolutely don't want to sound ungrateful or bratty - but I have had a horrific pregnancy, it's making me genuinely depressed and losing the will to live. I am crying every single day, and not even wanting to go on. I don't know why I thought it would be an amazing experience.

This comes from having nothing but problems during my pregnancy, it has been extremely stressful, my job are trying to fire me before my maternity leave.. then I recently went into early labour at 27 weeks and almost died from a heart attack after my body reacted to the medicine they gave me. I've had countless hospital visits, my body has endured absolute trauma, and I feel like I have been pregnant for about 3 f'ing years.

For the past 3 weeks especially, life has been really hard for me. I've been on bed rest for some time now, I feel alone and isolated. I wake up every day in agony, I feel so defeated and just cry and hold my stomach. I feel weak, torn open, I just need my baby girl here.

Doctors tell me she's almost coming up as 6 pounds at 33wks(huge I know) and is extremely healthy, not a notch wrong with her, but she is quite literally sucking the life out of me. My current resting heart rate is 150, I get 1hr sleep a night, I cannot hold food down, I cannot stand up more than 30mins, I cannot even get out the bath without my partners aid, I have no motivation for anything. The physical pain I feel is just - I'm done.

I feel so selfish saying I want her now. I'd do anything to have her - so this hell can be over and I can love my sweet girl. Did anyone else hate pregnancy? I almost want to go to hospital doors begging for an induction.

If you beg they will ignore you. Rest up so if you do have a problem they actually believe you.

I sympathize as I have horrible pregnancies as well but having a hospitalized baby is so, so much worse than being sick yourself. I always tried to remind myself of how much their brains grow and develop in the last weeks.

I begged for an induction with mine and got one. I'd never do that again. It was horrible. So painful and I ended up having an emcs. The body isn't ready when you're induced. I know it's tough but you haven't got long to go now. Hang in there.

Are you going to have a c-section? If yes, ask to have your c-section booked now. Having a set date that you going to welcome your daughter into this world might help. It gives you back some control. This can change and if you deliver earlier than plan they can cancel that booking. During my last pregnancy I did have an elected c-section booked but things changed and my son was born earlier. I was not made to feel guilty and babies alway come when its there time.

Sorry I see, you are thinking about an induction. Still make an appointment to get an induction booked for when it is safest for both of you.

Sounds like you might have to have her early anyway if you went into preterm labour and she is a big baby.

You poor thing. Just wanted to say don't add guilt to your list of worries.Of course you want the pregnancy to be over and your baby here. Your on the final stretch now I hope it passes quickly for you.

Is an induction possible for a woman recovering from a recent heart attack? Speak to your midwife or doctor about how you feel, you may be depressed and get as much rest as you can before your baby arrives

My sympathies! Dd3 was a planned pregnancy after 5 miscarriages and I actually got to the point where I would have rather been dead that pregnant. I had hyperemesis and that combined with other issues meant I ended up on bedrest for 30 weeks. What saved me was having an induction date - it meant I had a definite end point. I use to cross the days off the calendar. Also I did some research about which bits developed when and that helped - I'm miserable but right now baby is growing. The midwifes at the hospital thought I had PND as I ignored the baby! The minute labour ended I stopped feeling shit and was able to eat. In fact I was bouncing around as the afterpains/body ache from giving birth was absolutely nothing compared to pregnancy.
I hope time passes quick. And please don't feel guilty

Do bear in mind that scan weights are not always accurate. Ds put on 12oz overnight (scanned one day, born the next). She might not yet be quite that big. Can you aim for 36 weeks? Then at least she would be considered full term.

Please look into taking raspberry leaf extract (tablet from health food shop) twice daily religiously, from 36 weeks. It has many benefits such as toning the uterus, making labour shorter, and in many cases, helping things along early! My son came 2 and a half weeks early, 3 hour labour. Many people I know who have taken it report similarly. Nothing to lose by trying that?

I totally understand why you are fed up - it sound like it has been a horrific pregnancy. But take it from someone who has had a 34 weeker that an early baby really isn't something you should wish for. Mine was in nicu for more than three weeks, had a feeding tube for most that, was endlessly prodded and poked, and picked up two hospital acquired infections in that time.

I agree that getting an induction or section date agreed so you have an end point is probably the best thing for you now.

Consider carefully your birth options. Is an induction is the right way when you have so little energy (physically and mentally)?

Either way, something booked in for when baby is full term sounds like the wary forward so you have an end date to count down to.

As a mum of two premature babies I did come on here to tell you to not be so ridiculous.

Until I read your post. I'm so sorry you are going through such a tough time. The end is getting close have you got an appointment with your consultant any time soon? I'd be pushing for a section date as soon as you can get one. I don't know what to suggest, I know they won't induce you now unless you or baby's lives are at risk but I completely understand why you want her out and you shouldn't feel guilty at all.

I understand you've had an awful pregnancy but take it from someone who's baby was born early (31 weeks) this is not something to wish for, my DD was in hospital for 95 days, this was the worst period of my life. I always feel upset when I see these posts on MN 😟

Don't feel guilty for feeling this way.

I have had a relatively straight forward pregnancy (now 37 weeks) and I am officially done with it all. I read last night that the last couple of weeks make a difference to brain development and just wanted to throw a tantrum and cry.

I'm very grateful that we got pregnant very easily and it's been pretty risk free but bloody hell I can't stand being pregnant!

If there is no physical risk to you or the baby there is no way you will get an induction or c section early.
My son was bor n at 33 weeks after I developed a life threatening condition that nearly killed us both, but even then the drs were undecided till the last moment as to deliver or not. Its not something they do lightly.
My son spent 5 weeks in the nicu and is now constantly Ill and has numerous problems with feeding and development which all stem from being prem.
My advice would be to try and get a date for a section (based on the risks of induction) for just after 37 weeks as baby will be term then and the risks to her are massively reduced

Your baby won’t be full term until 37 weeks. If your doctors decide to induce or section 38 weeks then you will be given steroid injections to help baby’s lungs develop so they can hopefully breath independently.

Sounds like you need an honest chat with your consultant.

I had an EMCS with my DD and my current baby is consistently measuring very big. I’ve decided against induction because it’s harsh and I don’t think worth the risks for trying to push my body into labour when it and my baby won’t be ready. If DD is not here by 39 weeks then I’m having a section.

It sounds like you have had an absolutely awful experience so I do sympathise but you need to consider your baby’s health more than your own right now. She would most likely survive at 33 weeks but would need assistance for at least 2-3 weeks. Do you really want her to spend her first two or more weeks in hospital? It’s not an ideal situation at all.

I'm sorry you feel so awful but having your baby now really isn't the best option. I wrote a very similar post to you at 34 weeks pregnant with my 6 year old. A week later he was born early anyway. He spent 4 weeks in neonatal and he still has health problems.

If you want to start maternity leave get signed off a month. Usually at this stage that will trigger workplaces to start it early.

Please look into taking raspberry leaf extract (tablet from health food shop) twice daily religiously, from 36 weeks. It has many benefits such as toning the uterus, making labour shorter, and in many cases, helping things along early! My son came 2 and a half weeks early, 3 hour labour. Many people I know who have taken it report similarly. Nothing to lose by trying that

I took this from 34 weeks
Like you i was withered
The earliest my consultant would induce was 37 weeks.
I had a very easy induction which could be down to the tea.
I also sniffed some clary sage oil
Ate pineapple
Bounced on a yoga ball

My daughter was 7lbs and fed like a dream.
I hope you get to meet her soon