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Original poster

Rude reactions when you say you’re pregnant

55 replies

Jmcd2020 · 10/07/2019 18:22

Is it just me or does anyone else hate when people say they “knew” you were pregnant when you tell them, and not in a fun “oh I wondered that’s great news!” But in face in a really rude way? SIL really upset me by telling me how obvious it was when it was being kept quiet and that there was no need to have said when she’d worked it all out. Made me feel so bad!

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sandytoes84 · 11/07/2019 04:12

I’ve had ‘I wondered if you were / I knew it’ but didn’t find it rude...if a woman I knew was off sick/looking peaky/keeping a lower than usual profile I’d probably wonder myself too.

I’ve had a couple of ‘I didn’t think you wanted kids’ by people I don’t know that well, which I found a bit presumptuous, but I’m aware that’s maybe just the impression I gave.

It’s taken me years to get pregnant and I’ve had to congratulate a lot of people during that time - the one thing I’ve learned is really no one cares except you, partner and maybe parents. A lot of pregnant women seem to expect gushing congratulations and a fanfare from every acquaintance!

Xyzzzzz · 11/07/2019 04:31

I’ve had you? Really? 🙄

I’ve also been asked if it’s planned.🙄

WispaGoldsshouldcomeinmultipac · 11/07/2019 05:24

I've had a few people ask me if we can afford to keep our baby.

I thought that was incredibly rude.

itstrue · 11/07/2019 05:59

My boss (who was in the middle of a nasty divorce) replied I see we are both getting screwed! Confused

coffeeaddiction · 11/07/2019 06:15

Married for a year and together for 3 years previous to that , father in law says 'oh , how did that happen?'

JemimaPuddlePeacock · 11/07/2019 07:24

MrsB899 sorry but that really made me laugh 😂 I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time though!

The worst response I’ve had was an old coursemate, I posted it on Facebook and he replied with ‘about bloody time, the rest of us had babies ages ago 😂’ which left me kinda gobsmacked. For context, on this course out of fourteen of us eight or nine had babies in the two years since we finished, a real baby boom. So I think that’s what he was getting at, but it really stung.

As it stands I’ve wanted a baby for four years before trying, including a painful relationship breakup when we realised we didn’t both want kids, so I was feeling a bit scared for a while like I was getting older and less fertile (plus I’m subfertile and have only one tube so when we started trying I was sure it’d take forever or never happen). For all he knew I could have been trying for years while everyone else was having their babies, it just made me feel kinda ashamed and left behind and stupid for a second.

I didn’t say anything, but I wish I had now. Something like okay steady on dickhead I’m only 31 (he’s in his forties) or something. I let it go quickly but this thread just reminded me.

tuesdayschild1 · 11/07/2019 07:29

'But you aren't married?!'

Soubriquet · 11/07/2019 07:33

My Nan

“Oh no you bloody well aren’t! You’re a bloody idiot!”

Kinda makes your “I knew it” look tame

LoafofSellotape · 11/07/2019 07:35

Someone said to to me "Fingers crossed" and when I asked them what they meant they said "Well,fingers crossed it doesn't end in miscarriage because 1 in 4 pregnancies do ,you know"

I was speechless.

EscapeTheOrdinary · 11/07/2019 07:40

Everyone asked us if it was planned Confused would be understandable if we’d been together months and were young 20s maybe but we’ve been together over a decade and in our 30s!

DustyMaiden · 11/07/2019 07:41

No one ever beats DM for most inappropriate reaction.

After stillborn DD, I told her I was pregnant and she said. “I’m not buying it anything, I wasted my money last time.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 11/07/2019 07:55

It is just so easy to tell pregnant women though, so how is it rude?

Soubriquet · 11/07/2019 08:00

Oh @DustyMaiden that is shockingly horrible

Lllot5 · 11/07/2019 08:03

Couple of times I’ve guessed when colleagues were expecting. Not eating usual things no alcohol just look a bit peaky.
So not a huge surprise when I was told but didn’t ‘know’ just suspected.
Wouldn’t say anything though.

fonxey · 11/07/2019 08:12

Everyone guessed i was pregnant before i announced. I didn't find it that rude, just amusing. (Way more things in this world to be offended by...)

No one was remotely surprised to say the least apart from my mum (who guessed as i had a fairly obvious bump by then) who almost said"I'm so sorry".

Apparently unconsciously touching my belly (probably more to do with increased wind lol) is a dead give away.

purplereindeer · 11/07/2019 08:17

My DD3 who was six at the time said 'wait...so you two had sex?' with a look of bemused horror on her face Grin

pickleface · 11/07/2019 08:23

"Well you know its not viable until 24 weeks"... My line manager (police inspector)

Roughday · 11/07/2019 08:36

Was it planned ??

At you’re age (35)

I would’ve got rid if it wasn’t planned 😱 ( wasn’t planned but happy)

Then a couple weeks after had my stillbaby ! Said person now doesn’t know what to say to me !

HeartvsHead · 11/07/2019 08:46

'Couldn't you have just got another dog?' - from my neighbour... no congratulations or any other comment!

codenameduchess · 11/07/2019 08:49

@pickleface I heard someone from HR say to a pregnant woman when she was giving them her form to confirm pregnancy 'well, we won't get excited because it could still die'. same HR person said to a lady adopting 'what's wrong with you that can't have kids like normal people do?'.

MysweetAudrina · 11/07/2019 08:54

I have have noticed a few women in work were pregnant before they announced it. When you have gone through a few pregnancies you notice the signs. It's not like you are looking out for it or anything.

I like people who say what they are thinking even if it is not the most subtle. At least you know they will give you an honest opinion on things when you do need one. I hate that people have to police their thoughts and say something that goes against what they are actually thinking. Sometimes their words hurt but that is more because you are hurting already not that their words are the cause of the hurt, they just remind you of your pain and imo the only way to let go of pain is to feel it.

I don't want to live in a world where everybody is only permitted to say about 100 sentences that are deemed to be correct. I have had people say things that I found hurtful or weird but that was more to do with how I was feeling at the time than what they said as in other circumstances they would just have washed over me.

TerribleTwosPhase · 11/07/2019 09:02

Oh @DustyMaiden that's just horrible, sorry for your loss Flowers

aliensprig · 11/07/2019 09:03

@Soubriquet I know it's rude but your nan sounds hilarious Grin

A few weeks before we announced, my mum told me sometimes she wished she'd never had kids, and if she could do it all again she'd think twice. And told me categorically not to "fall into the same trap". Hmm Trap...?

I think my dad had a stern word with her about those comments cause we announced it a few weeks later she seemed genuinely happy for us!

MrsSoonToBeMummy · 11/07/2019 09:08

I had a friend say "I knew it and I told you so" but literally I cannot see how he would have ever guessed. It was the first time I had seen him for months and I wasn't even showing at the time. I think some people just respond that way and like to look like they're really clever for guessing.

LindaLa · 11/07/2019 09:10

"Oh no! Why?"
Ex sil when I was pregnant with my second.

She had a massive breakdown about a year later and couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't help her get through it.

She was vicious to everyone.

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