Irish Mums / Mums-To-Be - Looking for Advice

[ImMeantToBeWorking]

Note: The reason I state Irish is I know there is a lot of differences between Ireland and the UK!

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant. I know soon I will have my booking appointment/first scan etc. (I have not heard from the HSE yet so I have no idea when).

What are they looking for in relation to "family history"? I am adopted by the man I call my dad. I have a contact for my Bio Father but we don't talk much, have only ever met twice etc. Do I need to contact him and see if there is any family history I should know about?

I don't want to be asked about it and not know how to answer the questions, and seem irresponsible, but I don't want to do the whole awkward conversation with him, if I don't need too.

WWYD if you were in my position having been through this step before?

Thanks

I have two children. I can't remember anyone ever asking me for much in the way of medical history.
I didn't get called til I was 16 weeks on dd2. I was seen much earlier on dd1 because I was an inpatient due to hyperemesis.
Are you going public or private?

You can say you don't know as you are adopted. But are you interested to know if there are any genetic issues? Clicky hips, haemophilia, are two I heard of recently which people mention in that appointment. It may be useful to let him know you are pregnant and if there are any hereditary issues you should be aware of.
Also, be aware you rartener usually attends that 12 week appointment too, and he should know about any issues on his side.

I have a 3 year old(I’m Irish, in Ireland) I was asked quite extensive family history, illnesses, mental health, clicky hips, I couldn’t believe the amount of questions. They asked all the same for my husbands family too.
You could tell them at the booking appt that you are adopted and if there’s anything they really have to know maybe then contact him?

I'm in NI, so a different system. I was asked about history of birth problems, heart defects, genetic conditions etc in both my family and DH's. I'd just answer honestly that your dad isn't your biological father and so you don't know about that side, but provide whatever info you can about the rest of your family. I'm sure they won't bat an eyelid in this day and age.

Congratulations!! I don't recall being asked anything about family history. It might be more to address concerns you have as opposed to gathering information on their side. If you're very anxious about it you could phone the booking department or whatever section of the hospital you're going to and ask them before you go in. Or talk to your GP at your next appointment. But I really don't think you need to worry about it xx

Had my booking appointment for dc4 last week and they asked extensively about family history of diabetes, blood clotting issues, clicky hips, heart disease, high blood pressure, mental health problems, diseases such as cystic fibrosis.

I'm sure if you explain you are adopted and don't know, it'll be fine.

Your partner won't be allowed in the booking room while the midwife takes your history so make sure and find out his side in advance.

Good luck with it!

Thanks Ladies,

I might leave it for the moment and talk to my mam at a later stage. In one way I should know for my own sake too I think, but I know my mam would contact him if I asked her too!

@Pinkkahori the GP said it would be well into my second trimester before I got an app with the hospital alright. I was in shock as (especially on here) most people seem to get early appointments. I am currently public, but I have private cover on my VHI so I can go private but as I am using Sligo hospital it will all depend on if they have private rooms available! They will pay a certain amount toward private consultant fees but I have no idea how much more they will cost me in the long run.

@Thirder I think I should find out, but it is the awkwardness of telling a man I barely know that I am pregnant. I know my mam would have no problem doing it for me!!

@LorelaiRoryEmily yeah that might be easier, know exactly what they really need to know and take it from there! (PS Love the name!)

@MindyStClaire I say they are well used to it alright. I just want whats best for my baby!

@StellarLunar Thanks! I don't know when my next appointment even is for GP. I know he told me he sees me a few times over the course of pregnancy but I have no idea when I need to go back! I am sure someone will contact me at some stage, I hate the waiting around and not knowing.

@FairyJuice - why don't they let partners in? My DP has a heart condition that I know I will never explain properly if he isn't there to do it for me!!

They don't let the partner in because they ask sensitive information about domestic violence both in your present realtionship and past relationships. I suppose it's also because they are asking a lot of really sensitive medical questions that some women might feel uncomfortable answering in front of their partners. I remember for my first baby they asked about my history of unprotected sex (though they didn't ask that this time).

It's just for that one booking part. Fwiw, once my GP sent the referral, I had my appointment within a week. And the appointment was for 4 weeks later.

With combined care, you will see your gp again at 16 weeks, just for routine checkup, bp and urine dip.

My partner was with me for the booking apt as they had questions for him too, they then told him to go outside, i was asked about the relationship. I made mention of the fact that i had issues with internal exams due to a previous pregnancy and we spoke about that. It was fine. I was seen at 12 weeks, it really depends on your area.

Congratulations!

@FairyJuice OK I can understand the bit about the DV and women not answering in front of their partners, but I might ask for him to be there for the medical history. He knows about my sexual past, and all that so I have no issue with it. I literally only asked him about his heart issue again last night and already I can't remember the name of it. Will see what happens on the day! I saw my GP this day 4 weeks ago (it was very early days but I was on a rare weekday off from work and as I was new to the area I needed to get registered with a local GP). I have heard nothing yet.

@SnipSnipMrBurgess Thanks! that sounds grand, they can send him out after if they want, I just cant trust myself to explain his condition properly and they think it could be hereditary as his nephew has an issue with his heart too so it is important we get it noted. DP had open heart surgery at a few months old and to this day gets a heart check up every year.

Op if you haven't heard anything after 4 weeks I would ring the outpatients clinic of the maternity hospital to query it. You should be able to find the number on Google and they usually don't mind answering questions like that. I always thought it was important to have the first scan within that certain time window where the nuchal fold can be read easier?

I think the first scan should be 12 weeks for correct dating. Then 20 weeks for anomaly scan. Though I'm not sure if every Irish hospital runs to that timetable. We got a private scan done in Dublin, it cost maybe €80 iirc though it could have been €120

I had my first scan/booking at 12+5 (I think, it was only a few weeks ago, but this baby has eaten my brain!) and this is my fourth baby.

I got asked about any hereditary conditions including heart conditions in the family, clicky hips, blood disorders, diabetes, high BP. My own mental health, lifestyle questions (drinking, smoking, drugs, exercise etc) and as it is DC4, obstetric history re my other three.

My DP wasnt asked anything- but then again I did do all the answering for him!!

He wasnt asked to leave the room at all during our consultation (SE hospital), we had the scan done by the doctor and sent down for bloods., then back up to outpatients for weigh in and blood pressure check.

@ImMeantToBeWorking thanks!! I had my first appt at 13 weeks, I think if you go private you’ll pay about €3000/€3500 yourself on top of what the VHI will pay.

I had my booking appt at 13 weeks as I said above, anomaly scan at 20 weeks. Glucose tolerance at 26. I had gestational diabetes so then I was at the hospital every second week and gp every other and I was scanned at every hospital appt.

@FairyJuice I will give them a call today. I just want a date I can look forward too (and because I am inpatient!). Plus in work I am meant to give 2 weeks notice for a day off. As the hosp is over an hour away I will prob just take the full day so I need to know (plus I have a wedding around week 12 so it can't clash with that).

@StellarLunar €80 isn't too bad for a private scan. I am from Dublin originally and I keep thinking would I get better care if I was still up there and not in the West now. Talking to DP's parents at the weekend and his mam even told me not to go to two of the local hospitals. The one she recommended is an hour 40 with no traffic, that's where she had hers but traffic wasn't as bad 30 odd years ago!

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil thanks for that! Oh so baby brain is a real thing? I thought I was imagining it! I hope your scan went well, as does the rest of your pregnancy!!

@LorelaiRoryEmily hmmmm, with building a house, needing a family car and buying for a baby not sure I could justify that kind of money! Only 4 more weeks max to wait so. But as I said above I will contact the hosp anyway and see what the story is! Once I get the office to myself, I don't want someone walking in while I am on the phone.

When i had my first (granted over 21 years ago now) I was going to the rotunda hospital. My partner (ex h now) is adopted so when asked about family history I gave them mine & told them I didn’t know his. It wasn’t an issue.

Thanks @Alsonification. Like I could get mine handy enough, but I want to tell my friends and family before I tell someone I have met twice in my life, even if he is half the reason I am here in the first place!

I don't remember being asked any of this stuff. No 12 week scan. First is at 20 weeks. But maybe that's all changed.

So just for an update - I rang the hosp last week. They had an appointment made for me for the obstetrician for when I am 14+5. When I asked about a scan I was told I would need a referral from my doc (which he obviously sent as why else would I have my details to book an appointment with the obstetrician?) Rang the doc surgery, asked them to send on the referral again and gave them the fax number the hospital gave me.

Rang the hosp today and I have a scan appointment for when I am 13+6. At least I have a date but it is still so far away!!!

Hey i had my 12 week scan in holles st. a few weeks ago and was asked for family history (mother, father siblings), they didn't need anyone elses i.e aunties, grandparents etc. I'm sure its ok to say you don't know your dads side, my parents are remarried and i dont really have a relationship with my dad so didn't really know a lot about his side of things. I didnt specify this with them or anything (maybe i should have) but there was a lot of medical history to cover for my mum and sis so i didnt even think about it.

Thanks @Deeny83. I hope all went well at it?? I still have to wait another while for mine!

Yep it did thanks, and just had a 16 week check up too, but that was a very quick scan, i got one very blurry scan pic out of it The waiting in between scans is hard, i went through IVF so have felt like my last 17 weeks has been me just waiting on appointments, scans, tests etc. Hopefully time goes by quick for you and best of luck with your scan when it does happen!

I think my 16 week is just with the doc not the hospital. I am sure going the IVF route you just feel like it is a waiting game, but you are nearly half way through, your baby will be here before you know it.

Thanks, I hope it flies by too!

working one option might be to get a copy of the questions the midwife will ask re family history and ask your bio dad to fill in and send back? Would limit the face to face anyway. My DD is 4m and I was asked a detailed medical history at my booking in

Thanks Bosco. As I have my dating scan before my obstetrician appointment (which is when I assume they take my medical history?) I might ask for a copy at that. Means I can tell all my close friends and family before I contat BD (bio dad). Which I think is only fair.