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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Oxford or Gloucester?

25 replies

hipstercat · 09/07/2019 20:13

Posting here as well as on the Childbirth forum as it seems there's more traffic... apologies if that's not allowed!

I'm having an ELCS and have a choice of Gloucester Royal and the JR in Oxford. Does anyone have recent experience with either?

One advantage of Gloucester is that partners can always stay overnight, which is important to me. At the JR it is a bit unclear but it seems it's only possible if you get a private room, which I'd be happy to pay for but obviously depends on availability. Does anyone happen to know if they make any exceptions and let partners stay on the ward if you ask (beg...)?

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Ragwort · 09/07/2019 20:18

Not really answering your question but I think it is a real imposition to expect your partner to stay on the ward overnight, totally unnecessary and makes it very uncomfortable for the other mothers.

If you are insisting that your DP stays overnight then you need to book a private room.

I had an EMCS & DS born with a medical issue that needed investigating but I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking for my DH to stay overnight.

Sheep90 · 09/07/2019 20:19

As far as I know, at the JR partners can stay for the whole duration of your labour. They won't kick them out until baby's born! Sorry I don't know more. The JR is a good hospital though but oxford traffic can be a nightmare.

NerrSnerr · 09/07/2019 20:22

I had both mine at GRH. Youngest is 2 and fathers couldn't stay then but it must have changed. Care was good during c section and postnatal but the triage wasn't brilliant.

I do echo what PP said, it's hard enough trying to sleep in the post natal ward when you're sore, bleeding and babies are crying without having an unknown man asleep about a metre from you only separated by a curtain, or a couple chatting away at 4am while they feed the baby when everyone else is sleeping.

F10029 · 09/07/2019 20:24

Partners are allowed to stay overnight at Gloucester on the ward, but there is no bed for them to sleep on, so you might find it better for them to go and get some sleep anyway.

celticmissey · 09/07/2019 20:39

I had an emergency c section at Gloucestershire Royal and I couldn't fault the staff. They were great and gave me my own room as one had become available.

EverythingNow · 10/07/2019 10:27

Having my 4th at JR in August and as far as I am aware (and hope!!) partners can only stay in the private rooms. There is a link on JR website to info but basically the £450 private rooms can be prebooked and partners can stay (but won't be fed - which is fine as there is a nice M&S cafe anyway).

The other paid for amenity rooms don't say partners can stay but I guess they may use discretion? But on main wards no.

H2OH20Everywhere · 10/07/2019 11:34

And there was me thinking you were debating baby names! (Sorry!!!!)

ThanksItHasPockets · 10/07/2019 23:42

I’m afraid I agree with pp that it isn’t an advantage for partners to be able to stay overnight. If it’s policy at JR not to allow partners on wards (apart from private rooms) then they will not make an exception.

I would suggest going for the one which is more convenient for antenatal appointments and is easier to get to in traffic (speaking from experience of going into spontaneous labour in advance of my CS date).

Finally, has your ELCS been agreed and signed off? Oxford university hospitals trust will not do any maternal request ELCS.

Noodledoodlesandspud · 11/07/2019 00:42

I had 2 of my babies at GRH. It was lovely, because ds1 was born in the early hours h was allowed to stay with us in a side room. The staff were wonderful. I don't have any experience of c sections at GRH though.

ryanreynolds · 11/07/2019 01:13

Having had an emergency C section at GRH recently I can say the care whilst giving birth is absolutely excellent - can't fault it at all.

Afterwards wasn't great though, I was on a ward with 3 other beds and was noisy and fairly cramped. DH could have stayed but only in an upright chair, he went home - after having been up for 24 hrs + we decided was better he had a decent nights sleep. No limitations on visiting hours though so was back with us (and some decent food) by 7am.

Original poster

hipstercat · 11/07/2019 09:16

Thanks everyone! I appreciate not everyone is in favour of partners staying, but it's safest for us and the baby due to mental health issues. If there is a private room available of course I will take it, just worried that I may not have the choice. GRH have indeed recently changed their policy to allow partners staying on the ward and have clear rules to maintain privacy and quiet, which of course we would follow strictly.

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ThanksItHasPockets · 11/07/2019 10:51

If you need your partner with you for medically indicated reasons then best to discuss with your midwife and possibly the perinatal mental health team to get it confirmed and in writing in your notes.

devilishlygood · 11/07/2019 11:07

Agree with @ThanksItHasPockets, should you really be cared for antenatally by the MH team?

devilishlygood · 11/07/2019 11:10

www.oxfordhealth.nhs.uk/news/new-service-for-pregnant-women-mothers-and-families/

Original poster

hipstercat · 11/07/2019 11:40

I am, thanks. They were still not able to guarantee my partner being allowed to stay, though - sounds like it's up to whoever is on duty on the ward. It may all be fine, but the uncertainty beforehand is difficult for me.

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Aslipperyfish · 11/07/2019 11:50

I gave birth back in February in GRH. I didn’t have a Csection (although I know others that did). The staff were amazing and although I had a right strop on as I had to be induced and didn’t want to give birth there (wanted to give birth in Cheltenham), it was actually a really nice experience as the staff really were great.

DH stayed the night DD was born which I know is controversial but every single woman on my ward had a partner staying.

ThanksItHasPockets · 11/07/2019 11:55

If you can’t get it approved beforehand in writing at the JR, and if having your partner to stay overnight is a deal-breaker, then I think your decision is made for you: Gloucester.

bumblebee1987 · 11/07/2019 11:58

I had my daughter 10 weeks ago by ELCS at the JR. The experience was mostly really positive, the team who delivered her were faultless and absolutely lovely. My only issue was the aftercare, it wasnt awful (which it was when I had my son there by EMCS six years ago!), but they are understaffed, and while my midwife was lovely, she was somewhat running around like a headless chicken, and my experience wasn't great. For example, I started feeling really sick after surgery, so my husband went to ask for a bowl. He asked twice in half an hour and they didn't bring one, and consequently I threw up all over myself. So then he asked for someone to help as I was covered in sick, but no one came for ages, by which point he had sorted me out himself (not that he had a problem with doing it, but we could have done with a hand as I wasn't able to move!).

We didn't get the option of a private room, but to be fair we didn't ask. However, someone in the bed next to me wanted one and she was having a real fight to get it, so I don't know if it's always like that. They are really strict about husband's leaving on the wards though, when we had my son, he was born late at night, and my husband was kicked out about half an hour after he was born, for some reason I thought we'd get a bit longer seeing as he was so new!

Original poster

hipstercat · 11/07/2019 12:08

Crikey bumblebee, that sounds like my worst nightmare - part of my anxiety is actually to do with a phobia of being sick! You may have just given the decisive argument... I hope you've recovered well from it all.

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bumblebee1987 · 11/07/2019 12:23

Oh no, sorry! I probably wouldn't have recounted that story if I had known that sickness was your phobia. We are totally fine now, thank you Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Original poster

hipstercat · 11/07/2019 12:28

Oh no, I'm glad you did! I'd much rather be prepared!

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EverythingNow · 11/07/2019 12:36

@hipstercat I think unless you know your dates and are able to prebook the £450 private room, you would definitely be better going to Gloucester and removing that uncertainty.

Annabel28 · 11/07/2019 13:36

I was allocated a side room where my husband could stay for 5 nights at the JR last year on mental health grounds. I thought we would have to pay but we didn't in the end as they felt it was clinically necessary. Have JR agreed elective section? They normally don't.

SpaSushi · 11/07/2019 13:51

I booked a private room at JR, but wasn't allowed to have it as due to complications i had to be on observation ward for 12-24 hours after and then in a general ward because you can be 'seen ' more regularly. I was told only straightforward births allowed private rooms. If you are having a c section then you will be sent to obs ward after birth so your partner is unlikely to be able to stay overnight that night I'm afraid.

Having said that i would still ask- if you have clear health needs for partner staying then let them know - you may get get lucky

Original poster

hipstercat · 11/07/2019 14:21

Thanks so much for your advice. This forum is so amazing! :)

@Annabel28 did you have a section or other complications that meant you had to stay for 5 nights? The thing about not being allowed a private room for observation at first does worry me, as I can imagine they wouldn't be able to make an exception to that but then would also not allow my husband on the ward (understandably, if they're not set up for that).

Yes, much to my suprise Oxford have granted me an ELCS mostly on mental health grounds (also bowel problems that would be exacerbated by tearing, but that probably wouldn't have been enough reason alone). Gloucester already had approved it while I was waiting to go through the evaluation at the JR. I didn't want to risk the JR stringing me along and saying no at the last moment as they are known to do, so I also made the request in Gloucester at the advice of Birthrights. Gloucester were very fast and incredibly friendly - I can recommend them if anyone is having trouble getting their request approved elsewhere. So now, unexpectedly, I have a choice!

The JR is much closer, and it's where I've had my antenatal care, so more practical. Gloucester on the other hand does offer me more certainty and support, and my impression is they are not nearly as understaffed. They have also planned the ELCS for a week before my due date, whereas the JR has now given me a 'provisional date' of only three days before, and I've heard from other people that they've been bumped even further at the last moment which must be so stressful.

Argh, making decisions is so not my strong suit!

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