Baby banks... feeling alone and overwhelmed... freedom project.

[Neverbroken]

I met my support worker today who I was referred to by a social worker. She asked if I had bought anything for baby yet which I have some clothes. I wanted to wait until 24 weeks because baby is viable. I said only thing I’m worried about is the big things like the pushchair. She said she could do a “baby bank” referral for me to support me to get some stuff. Has anyone ever had things from a baby bank before, what condition are they in?

Overall I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed recently, panicking about things like learning to breastfeed or what kind of bottles to get etc. I just don’t even know where to start, also making it all affordable.

Support worker also recommended the freedom project to me. I don’t know how I feel about this. Everything just seems a bit scary at the moment, it feels good to know I can come to mumsnet and let it out.

One last question how many weeks are you supposed to be before the midwife measures your bump etc? I’m 25 now and it hasn’t been measured once, at both of my last appointments they’ve just checked my blood pressure and checked my urine.

neverbroken good luck with freedom course, it's a great time to do it and it will be fantastic for helping you to move forward xx

Hi @Neverbroken

Sounds like you've had a shit time of it, but you're doing all the right things by getting the right advice and support.

A lot of my friends have had their first child in similar situations and have thrived long term, I've felt more focused and determined since I had my little boy - and have been much better at prioritizing and seeing things more clearly, it sounds a cliche but havin him made everything make more sense as he became the priority.

I haven't used baby banks, but I volunteer for a charity that puts together packs for new mums, they are lovely and we most of the donations are new or new or newly new. I recently gifted on my buggy, which was in perfect condition but won't fit in car I have now for next baby - so people can have loads of reasons for passing on items.

Getting everything together can be overwhelming, so definitely checking out the baby bank as may mean you can get several items in one trip - which will save you time and energy. Good luck xxx

I think my midwife started measuring my bump from 28 weeks, so should be on your next appointment.

My DD slept in a hand-me-down cheap Moses basket as a newborn and at least 85% of her clothes are second hand, either passed onto us or things I've bought on eBay or in charity shops.

Because shops have gone cheap on materials over the past few years, second hand clothes are often nicer than the equivalent items in the shops currently!

Please do use the Baby Bank, we had our baby much later than our friends and we were given everything as hand me downs, (3 pushchairs ), to be honest we could have bought new but the marketing around baby stuff is just so clever that it manipulates parents into thinking they must buy everything new for their precious baby .... it is just wrong and a complete rip off. I don’t think I bought anything new for my DS until he was about 9 !

Congratulations on your pregnancy and on starting out fresh together.

Like others have said, really do take the opportunities like the baby bank - I've donated things there that were unworn, babies grow so fast! When people donate there it isn't usually to dump things, it's because the things they pass on are so loved or have so many precious memories attached that putting them in a charity bin or passing them on to a friend who might or might not really want them feels wrong. There will be so much love in anything you get.
On that, of course buy a few things new, but second hand is so worth it, and you'll also know that you are helping make the world a better place for your dd - garment production is a huge cause of pollution, you will be starting her off in a better world than if you went to Primark (or Ralph Lauren) and kitted everything out new.

You're doing a great job, good luck

@sarmare thank you!

@sianyb83 I know what you mean I feel determined to get my career going so she has a better future. It’s like she’s given me the motivation I never really had for myself.

@stephn88 exciting!

Thank you guys! And I don’t want anyone to think I think I’m too good for hand me downs in my teens I had a lot of my cousins had me downs as I grew up with my aunty and grandma who were quite older, not really understanding a teenagers fashion lol.