Feeling lazy/useless during third trimester

[TwistyTop]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and suffering with SPD. I am having physio for this but to be honest it's not helped as much as I'd hoped. I probably started the physio a bit late as I was busy with work and let the problem get bad. I'm still finding basic things like walking, getting in and out of bed, getting dressed and emptying the dishwasher very painful.

I was working in a contract position but the contract has now ended and I'm not going to pick up any other work for quite a while - I want to EBF if possible and my husband earns a high salary, and we've saved up a lot, so we are financially comfortable without me needing to rush back to work after the baby comes.

I'm happy to not be working as it's a very demanding job and I want to stay home with my baby, and my husband is happy with this too. Work was becoming very difficult because of the SPD. Also I generally feel tired and uncomfortable, as I'm sure most women do in late pregnancy!

The problem is that now I'm home I'm starting to worry that I'm lazy and useless. As a contract worker there have, in the past, been periods of a few weeks/months at a time where I've not worked, and I've found the time fullfilling as I've done all the housework (we have quite a big house and pets so it does require a reasonable amount of cleaning/upkeep), cooked fancy meals for us, pursued various hobbies and had an active social life - just generally been busy and active.

Not so this time. Now I probably spend about 2 hours a day doing house work (I have to do things slowly because of my SPD), then my physio takes about an hour and then... That's pretty much it. I find my pelvis is really knackered out by this point and it's painful moving around to do things, and being heavily pregnant I'm just exhausted. I nap, I watch tv, I read baby books and I organise things for the baby/birth. I do still go out and see my friends sometimes but certainly not every day, and when I do I'm only out for a couple of hours because my pelvis starts to hurt and honestly I'd rather just be at home on my sofa where I can be comfy. When I'm out I have to wear a special belt to hold my hips together and it isn't comfortable and looks awful.

Is this level of activity normal for a 34 week pregnant woman with SPD? Or am I being a lazy cow? The thought of being out and about all day like I used to be pre pregnancy makes me tired and sore just thinking about it. My husband often laughs when I mention that the housework isn't being done as thoroughly as it used to be. He keeps saying I'm daft and that he'd be quite happy for us to just get a cleaner so I don't have to aggravate my SPD doing chores, and that I'm entitled to relax now before the baby comes. But I can't help but feel a bit useless now. I'm sure I'd feel even more useless if we got a cleaner. I know when the baby comes I will be a round the clock carer but right now I'm not doing much at all.

Sorry for rambling so much, this is my first pregnancy and I wasn't expecting to have SPD, my mobility has suffered a lot and I suppose I'm just processing all of that and struggling to come to terms with not being able to do all of the things that I used to.

Has anyone else felt like this?

Also might be worth mentioning that I live in a very hot country and I find being pregnant makes the heat unbearable sometimes, so that's another reason I prefer to be at home. I didn't use the aircon much pre pregnancy but it's a life line now!

Being pregnant puts the same strain on your body as constantly running a marathon for 9 months. Your body is doing more than enough. If your able to batch cook some meals, get baby’s things ready and read up on labour and birth. That more than enough to be doing.

Hi Twistypop

I am in the exact same position as you. My pgp/spd is horrible at the moment (I'm 36 weeks) and it has been since about week 20/21. I too feel so lazy and I'm just so bored and sick of being in constant pain, not sleeping properly etc. I'm pretty much confined to the house. I finished up work early but then had to finish up 3 weeks earlier than that due to my pelvis being in constant agony so much so, I put my back out one night turning in bed.

I thought having an early finish would let me get in that nesting mode, getting the nursery sorted, batch cooking and just generally getting things done before baby arrived. Couldn't be more opposite. I get up. Lie on the couch and binge watch some telly until I get the courage to shower etc and then I sit on the couch in between trying to tidy. Feel so useless and I'm so worried ill be in more agony in pregnancy and also afterwards because it doesn't always go away. Some women suffer for years. I think the NHS need to look at this pain a lot more as it is manageable with manual physio. Just so expensive but obviously going to pay it.

Won't be long until your wee one is here too :)

I’m nearly 37 weeks and I too was a contract worker but have been on “maternity” officially for a week and a half, I also have spd and this is my first pregnancy!
I know what you mean about feeling lazy and useless but the other way to see it is this is the time to enjoy things as they are before baby arrives! I’ve been batch cooking and freezing meals for when baby arrives to make life easier, cleaning (what my pelvis allows me to do) and sitting in a sun lounger in the garden! All babies clothes and bedding etc are washed and ready, ive got all the necessities in place (pads, breast pads, nappies, wipes, etc etc) pregnancy is bloody knackering even without spd so try to remember when you feel lazy that when babies here we won’t have time to feel that way and will be responsible for a little person for years and years so enjoy the peace while it lasts

I could have written your post! I also live in a hot country but am only 28w. I'm now officially off work until the birth in Sept as the nature of my job means a long (unpaid) summer holiday.

I struggled in an active job with pelvic/lower back issues that meant I was on crutches or wheelchair-bound for a few months. Finally physio started to work just before finishing work for summer! I was delighted that I could finally start to be more active and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy but, just like PP, I've been flopped out on the sofa, watching daytime TV, struggling to get motivated in this heat!

I had one day where I got my arse in gear, did housework and an exercise video but spent the rest of the afternoon with a sore middle and bump so I think I overdid it! My DM is very house-proud but said she did nothing during her pregnancy and my DDad did it all. My DH has had to do loads more at home because of my issues and I'd love to get on top of things now that I'm a lot better but he tells me not to feel guilty about relaxing after battling through such pain (and "morning" sickness that I still have now.)

I can't speak for 34w but at 28w I'm trying not to feel guilty and just feel grateful that my holiday has coincided with the last few months so I can get the rest I wish I'd had when I was in agony. Remember that you are still suffering which is so different to a pain-free pregnancy. You deserve a rest.

I went out for dinner with DH last night and just felt so much more relaxed and pleasant than when I'm exhausted from work so enjoy being a better, more relaxed version of yourself before the storm arrives!

Thanks for your responses, you have all made me feel so much better. I was moping about feeling very guilty but hearing your experiences has made me feel a lot more comfort in my own skin!

If you think you’re lazy you should see my day! I got PGP 3 weeks ago in the sacrum joint, and I was bed ridden for days. I went for physio but he told me there wasn’t anything to be done and just gave me crutches. I was upset because I enjoy going for daily walks and had wanted to stay active through my pregnancy, playing badminton once a week and trying to jog twice a week when my bladder allowed. As soon as this happened and he told me it wouldn’t get better I thought, that’s it, I’m gonna get super fat and this is gonna suck. I’m 39+3 today and I cant lift anything. Can’t do laundry, it’s difficult to cook, let alone leave the house on my own. And yes I’m gaining weight like crazy for the first time in this pregnancy. Luckily my OH works from home so here’s here to help. I’m having my first sweep tomorrow so perhaps things are nearing an end, I feel so restless and I can’t wait to be able to go for a simple walk again.

Bernifal. It's awful isn't it. You should honestly go see a private physio that does hands on manual therapy. I found seeing NHS physio totally pointless. They gave me a band and crutches and a couple of stretches and said nothing more they could do. Manual therapy was brilliant. OK, it didn't last that long, but she realigned my pelvis and it felt so much better.
If you go on the website the pelvic partnership it shows areas people may do manual therapy.
X

Ah I wish I’d known or thought of going private sooner, but at my stage I don’t think there’s much point now. I’ll know it for the next pregnancy though so thanks!

Bernifal sounds really sore!! You have my sympathy. Isn't is so strange and frustrating to not be able to do simple things?

Although we have no children yet I have come to realise that I am the head of the household, in the sense that I do all of the organisation and keeping things ticking over. I didn't quite realise how much I was doing until I couldn't do a lot of it.

And I was a long distance runner before my pregnancy. Now I can barely walk without help. It's a tough pill to swallow.

Hopefully things will get moving for you soon and you can get back to your old self!