Tried for a third child and now pregnant with twins. I’m so sad...my life is over...

[mummyDA]

I’ve never posted on MN before so bear with me.
My husband and I have 2 children aged 6 and 4. I enjoy my children but wouldn’t say I’m the most maternal. I always considered a third and also husband wanted a third child and is very supportive, we have a good relationship. Now I’m pregnant with twins and I’m so sad. I only wanted one more, I never considered a fourth.

So much was my shock that I considered not continuing with the pregnancy, but couldn’t as I’m a twin myself. I now feel that my life is over....my husband has been very supportive but I can’t shake the feeling that the burden will be more than I can handle.

This has happened to my best friend and a few others we know! I went for a third and wondered if it might happen to us! Think of it as a blessing. It will be hard at first, but then they will have playmates which will help as they entertain each other. Could you get extra help for the first few months? An au pair to help w the older kids?

Bless you what a surprise. Nothing useful to add, but my Great Aunt tried for a third and got ....triplet boys, and managed with support. Hope you get lots of support, take care.

Your older ones are old enough to be a little more independent soon. It is easier with them in school as that takes care of much of the day so you can focus on the twins. Also it means that whereas there would have been a fairly large age gap, now the younger ones will have siblings of a similar age. I don't have twins - you might want to post in multiple births board but friends who have say the first year or two is really hectic but it gets easier from then on as they can occupy each other.

Local colleges doing childcare courses will sometimes send students out to gain experience and help you.

Wow that must be such a shock.

I'm sure all parents of multiples feel this at some point.

I'm pretty sure there is a multiples board on here.maybe you will get some good advice there.

Good luck!

I am in almost the same position.

We have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Contraceptive failure (condom, then MAP) meant I got a bfp in April. We decided we could cope with one more, but it would be really tough.

Found out it's twins a month ago and I've felt trapped ever since. I don't enjoy the baby stage, my DD2 slept so badly I was hospitalised multiple times through exhaustion, causing collapse when alone looking after my children (Thankfully DD1 knew how to call OH for help). I can't cope with that again, and there's a chance it'll be doubly as bad. I don't know that I'll survive it.

Our finances are going to be incredibly stretched and we will end up in significant debt, having just got out of it completely. We won't afford any treats, meals out, holidays etc for many years. I won't be able to retrain as we had planned until the twins are at school. I feel like it's ruined our lives, when theirs haven't even begun yet.

I know it's happening now and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm covered in congratulations and people being so excited for me, and all I keep feeling is hopeful they'll find one of the babies has stopped developing at my next scan. I feel awful for it.

I don't have any advice for you, sadly, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone.