Anyone who is worried about being judged/ what people might say?

[lovesT]

Hello 😊

I am about 8 weeks pregnant and 24 years old. My husband and I have been together for 10 years (high school sweethearts!) and married for nearly 4 years. We have wanted to start a family for a while now but until last year we were abroad for two years so have been waiting until we had settled into jobs. After 6 months of trying I am pregnant!

Now I'm worried about what people are going to say or think when they find out ... I've never been bothered by it before but now it's real I feel a bit nervous that people might say we are too young. I'm also worried about telling work. I will be 25 just before due date and husband will be 24.

I suppose we are young but we feel ready ... anyone else have similar fears? Or ARE we too young? Haha ahhh pregnancy ...

Grateful for any replies, sorry for long message!

I had a 4 year old at 25. No one ever said anything or made feel bad for having a child at 21.

24 isn't really too young op, anyway it's your business. Nobody will say anything as long as you have a decent place to live. You already have your jobs so what's the problem?

Well done and good luck .

“ I have had some interesting looks from people in public because I do look really young and I did have a couple of old biddies ”

Judging people because of their age really is awful, isn’t it?

I’m 8 weeks too and honestly this bit of pregnancy is crazy making. A huge thing is happening to you but you can’t talk about it so you end up obsessing over silly crap. I’m 37 and this is my third. I’ve ruminated a bit about whether other people will think it’s a mistake but really I know they’ll all be polite and supportive whatever they’re thinking. And what they think doesn’t matter anyway!

I'm 24 with two children,people will always have an opion on it!, its wether you choose to let it bother you or not, im sure no one will saying anything anyway don't let that cloud your happiness 💖 big congratulation xx

Your a grown woman 24 isnt young at all esp when married etc and been with your husband for so long.
Dont worry what people think all that matters is u & your husband x

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your replies. I know it's silly! With pregnancy I seem to be feeling every emption more than normal so maybe that's why I'm feeling like this!

I have always wanted children earlier (not that I think 24 is very young!) but people seem to be having children later and that makes me seem even younger. I'm probably overthinking people's reactions and I'm hoping it will all be okay.

We have a place to live, definitely not the richest people at all but both work and try to save as much as possible so we'll be okay.

I'm also just used to working with people who think I'm so young because most of them are 40-50 so I know that they think of me as too young for anything haha 🙄

Thank you again xx

IME, as a mother, you are either too old or too young, according to someone. You are judged whatever age you are so it's best to just get on with it in whatever way is right for you. Ignore people who comment on your age. You've got a beautiful baby to think about now - their opinions aren't worth worrying about.

I was 23 when pregnant 24 when DS1 news born. I didn't feel young but looking back I was younger than most mums on DS nursery however I really enjoyed it! No one ever really said anything

I'm now 31 pregnant with 3 and also few young 🤣

I was 23 pregnant and 24 when I had my first, my now husband and I had only been together a few months when I found out and I felt like a school girl at my booking appointment I must admit but I've never had any comments and I only felt self conscious of the judgey people when he was under 3. I'm 34 now and having a 10 year old is lovely, I'm not the youngest parent in his class, I'm actually 4th youngest (same in my 8 and 5 year olds classes and it'll be similar in the baby I'm having nows school class as a lot of the parents in the playground who have babies now are older than me still.) You have a settled relationship, you've travelled and you've a job, you really are in a better position than you are giving yourself credit for. Plus 24 is actually peak fertility age apparently so in mother nature's eyes you're just the right age, and I can vouch that being a new mum in your 20s is easier than in your 30s. Congratulations x

I was 23 when I had my daughter. People judged me because I was young and I’d only been with her dad for 6 months. We were married for 6 years then I became a single mum. People judged me. I started a new relationship, we’ve been together 3 years and now I’m pregnant he’s left me so I’m about to become a single mum of 2 children with different fathers. People will judge me again I’m sure. I really couldn’t care less 🤣

People will always find a reason to judge. Rise above it xx

Of course not! It sounds like you have a stable life and thought it through. Biologically speaking you're at the perfect age, so I think you're lucky that you also happen to feel ready now! Everyone will be happy for you I'm sure. Enjoy it!

People will judge you for a lovely wide range of things when you get pregnant and have a child - get used to ignoring it now!

If you're ready, you're ready, own your decision and sod anyone who thinks it's any of their business.

@Justus22 thank you so much for that reply, I've always felt that I want to be 'younger' so I'm able to enjoy being a parent whilst also being young. Your reply along with all the other has made me feel a lot better! I'm sure I'm just over thinking it. We're really excited and have wanted this for a long time, it's finally here and I will just enjoy it (when I'm not too sleepy haha)

Everyone else - you're so right, people always find something! But really appreciate your replies. I do feel very lucky to have got pregnant and feel ready at this age! Like I say, we definitely aren't the richest people but we feel ready and have thought about it a lot so surely that's enough. 😊

Thanks to all who replied x

Dear OP, I had my first child at 26 ....a perfect age for me and my DH.
Congratulations to you .
I tend to judge older parents as the ricks are bigger and the likelihood of them being even more ancient when the baby is a teen is an issue .

As a pregnant women/mother you will be judged whatever you do.

Hi OP! I'm 24 and have a 7 month old baby with my partner of 5 years. I have once encountered an old lady on the bus who looked down at my fingers and tutted about "no wedding ring then" but other than that I have had no negative comments.

I suppose some people will always judge. You'll be too young, too old, not far enough into your career, too far into your career to "give it all up." There will always be something.

Most people have been completely fine about it- or just polite enough to hold their tongue! Although I do find strangers are friendlier and talk to me more when my partner is out with me and my son. Maybe it's just a sad fact of life that some people will judge young pregnant single mums.

I’m 25 myself and 17 weeks pregnant. All my siblings so far have had their children in their 30’s and I had the same concerns about what people would think, especially being a planned pregnancy (shocking how many people actually ask if it was planned or unplanned).

But I have to remind myself they had them once they been with there partners for a few years and finally got a house. I was very fortunate with my partner, to meet him 5 years ago and to have brought a house last year and both of us have good jobs.

I’d been at uni for 5 years and by the end of it I’m no longer interested in going on nights out regularly, i’m quite content staying at home or going out for dinner with friends.

The biggest upset was when my best friend asked if it was planned and I said yes and then she said ‘so you are actually happy about it?’ Took me a while to really talk myself around not being upset by that.

But i’m also preparing myself for many other different judgements to come my way in the future about parenting choices etc.

I honestly think age is irrelevant it’s more about your mental and physical preparedness to start a family. I just remind myself of that when anyone gives a look or makes a comment that suggests they think it’s too early. That and no one can take my happiness away about our soon to be little boy.

@roisinagusniamh thank you 😊 yeah I agree there are lots of reasons why younger is a good thing!

@TheVeryHungryTortoise that's crazy that the lady did that! 🙄 glad you haven't had too many experiences of that though ...

@Sianii that must have been really rubbish for a friend to say that, a few said things when we got engaged (we were very young, but had been together for ages) and it was like they thought we were throwing out lives away! We've never been fans of late nights out drinking and are quite happy in each other's company so we are excited for our own family 😊 congratulations on your pregnancy!

Perfect age to carry a child and become a mother in my opinion. Sounds like you're happy and settled too. Wishing you all the best! Congrats

I'm 23, pregnant and been married for nearly three years. I get so many shocked reactions when people find out how old I am! But I love the idea of having my kids young and having lots of energy and time with them.

Big congrats, and don't take any comments to heart. Everyone is different!