Obese and pregnant (losing weight?)

[pregnantncnc]

(Have NC to a generic nc as I outed myself on my usual username by accident this week)

I had planned to lose weight before we got married, with the plan to TTC afterwards once I was at a healthier weight with healthier habits. Long story short, we ended up bringing the wedding forward due to family health issues and I didn't have time to do much in terms of weight loss. I've just found out that I'm pregnant (roughly 5 weeks) after forgetting to take the pill on honeymoon. I honestly considered terminating because I felt so guilty about being pregnant at this weight, and was scared about the potential weight gain - but this baby is so wanted. My BMI is 35.8.

I don't know what to do. Obviously I will discuss with midwife etc but have no one to talk to who has any idea IRL as I don't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant until first scan (besides DH of course).

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did the midwives/docs react to you wanting to lose weight during pregnancy? Is it even safe/possible? Google seems to throw up a wide range of responses so I'm looking for more personal stories. I've just signed up for a course/subscription of bloody HIIT classes that I don't think are safe for pregnancy so don't know what to do about exercise either.

DH is telling me not to worry about it but I'm so worked up. I know I got myself into this situation but I'm so worried.

Hi OP. I can't offer any advice but I can tell you I feel the same way. I'm very overweight after the birth of my first baby. I lost a lot to have her and it has all crept back on in the last 18 months and I'm feeling pretty low about myself but my DH and I want to try for another baby now but I'm terrified. It will take at least a year to lose the weight properly and then there's no guarantee I'd get pregnant straight away.

I've heard that if you are overweight to start with then losing weight during pregnancy in a healthy sensible way is entirely possible.

Anyway, I've no real advice but want to say massive congratulations to you on the pregnancy. Perhaps go and chat to.your GP about it and see what they say?

My advice is to cut out all of the chocolate, pastries, crisps, cakes, biscuits and sugary drinks etc. You've already stopped alcohol, presumably. No calorie counting needed. Just this alone should mean weight comes off healthily and naturally if you're currently in the obese category. You might find once nausea hits (if it does) that you'll crave plain salty carbs, so find a version that isn't too terrible! Many women lose weight in the first trimester from sickness and it does the baby no harm. Also many women are diagnosed with gestational diabetes in trimester 2 or 3 and find they are a stone or more lighter after delivery compared with pre-pregnancy due to diet modifications on doctor's orders. You don't need to "diet" to lose fat. From what I've read the baby just needs good nutrition, not empty calories.

And congratulations!!!

Thanks for the reply and congratulations @Constantlurker (you're my first congrats as I really haven't told anyone besides DH!) - I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down about yourself, though I understand how you're feeling - you're still able to be a loving, wonderful mother to your DD (and any future DC) whatever size you are. I think before my advice would have been "just get onto being healthier and once the ball is rolling start to ttc and see what happens" but my judgment is a bit clouded at the moment by my own worry.

I'd like to lose weight (ideally weigh a bit less when I give birth than I do now) but I have no idea how reasonable/safe that is.

GP might be a good idea

@PetraRabbit fab advice and thank you for the congratulations! What you've said makes total sense. We've been without a kitchen for 3 months and before that we were living with family so haven't had control over our own food for close to 9 months, alongside planning a pretty rushed wedding - which has meant a lot of snack and takeaways which is stupid as it shouldn't really have been an excuse! We're finally into our fully equipped house now so cooking healthily will be much easier, and I just have to try to resist any crap (and get DH in board)!

Congratulations!

One of my friends had a similar BMI to you when she got pregnant. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant and gave up all refined sugars etc for the rest of the pregnancy. At 9 months she weighed quite a bit less than she had when she found out she was pregnant. It can be done, but see your doctor so that your diet remains healthy.

Op I'm bigger than you and pregnant, I had lost some but we were trying simultaneously because of my age.

I'm still lgoing to slimming world and thry have a plan that's adapted to pregnancy along with limits on how much to lose and sign off from midwife etc. SW iis also more about balanced food than dieting. Would something like that work for you?

I wouldn't take up a level of excersie above the intensity you were doing pre pregnancy but lots of walking, swimming etc is gentle and still exercise

Reduce the amount of sugar etc you eat but also listen to your body.

Midwife was fab, consultant was a bit of an arse Re first pregnancy, I had extra scans at 28 and 34 2erks because of my weight. Ut that was all. Also had to take higher dose of folic acid and aspirin from 12 weeks but consultant covered all of that and it will be covered in your booking in appt.

Your midwife can also address your fears.

Congratulations xx

I am plus size and expecting our first child, I'm 19 weeks now.

I honestly have never felt judged by any of the midwives I have dealt with so far, they have to warn you of the risks associated with being overweight and pregnant, I was given a higher dose of folic acid and prescribed aspirin, I also have to have a gestational diabetes test later on. It's not an ideal situation but being overweight does not make you a bad mummy!

I've been told that I shouldn't put on any weight during my pregnancy which has not been an issue so far due to sickness and constantly feeling sick. I try and eat as healthy as I can though. I have read that some women follow slimming world throughout pregnancy.

Good luck with your journey 😊

OP I was like you when I was pregnant. As said up thread for the first 12-13 weeks I felt very nauseous (but not sick) and as a consequence did not eat much and actually lost a few pounds. Later on in my pregnancy I was trying very much to eat healthy and did not put on much weight at all (if any). I remember at one of my midwife appointments she was very cross with me and accused me of not eating properly because I hadn't put on any weight. I was definitely not dieting. After baby was born I actually lost quite a bit of weight so ended up considerably lighter post pregnancy (10+kg). I would go for healthy eating, lots of fresh fruit and veg etc rather than dieting.

Thank you for the responses. You've all eased my conscience and have given me a bit of hope for being able to get healthier and fitter with this pregnancy rather than the "inevitable weight gain" that you hear about.

I'm thinking about getting a personal trainer to help me with some exercises that I CAN do during first tri before. Believe it or not I've always been fairly active (spin classes, running, walk or cycle everywhere day-to-day, yoga, hill walks, etc) - but just eat too much of the wrong foods and drank far too much wine.

After reading a couple of posts on her about nasty consultants I was so worried about going to my first consultant appt last week, but my midwife and the consultant have been really nice and supportive. My BMI is a bit higher than yours so it does mean more appointments but all of mine have been really good!.
My consultant last week spoke about risks etc and also asked if I would like to be referred to a dietician. I declined because I do know what I should and shouldn't be eating, I just need to make sure I keep putting it into practice.

She said "we prepare you for all the risks but we hope for it all to go perfectly normally". She was really nice. She said I can join Slimming World, tell them I'm pregnant and they will put you on a plan to "maintain" weight because they're not really meant to recommend you lose weight when pregnant.

I'm 18+4 now and 2kg down from my booking in date.

Good luck and congratulations. Enjoy it!

First of all stop being so hard on yourself. No one is perfect and yes ideally we would all love to be the perfect weight for pregnancy but it just doesn't happen to most people. Remember to eat healthy and remember you're not eating for 2. My midwife always reminds people that they are not eating for 2. You can loose weight in pregnancy but your midwife will guide you through that and the best ways to do it.
Congratulations! Start to enjoy your pregnancy it honestly goes so fast, don't spend time worrying about your weight 😘

I have read overweight people sometimes lose weight when pregnant due to healthier eating habits. It’s usually the thin people who gain a lot of weight. I’m tall and slim and each time I am pregnant (third time now) I gain 23 kilos. I also lose it all each time. If you want this baby don’t terminate! You might struggle to get pregnant again. Adopt a strict healthy eating plan now. It’s perfectly fine to lose weight during pregnancy if you are very over weight, as long as you get the nutrients. Suggested healthy diet.

Breakfast - Plain Oatmeal (no added sugar) with fresh berries on the side or Greek yogurt with nuts and berries

Snack - Apple w cheese slice

Lunch - salad with salmon or sandwich w chopped tomatoes and cucumber on the side or veggie soup with toast and avocado

Snack - crackers and cheese or some nuts w banana

Dinner - similar to lunch w side of veggies

Oh and take a prenatal vitamin!

I think the biggest issue in the early weeks is hunger. Mamabear12 has done a lovely meal plan but it just wouldn't have been enough and hunger made my morning sickness and dizziness worse.

You need to find a balance between modifying the diet that got you to here and the kind of diet you'd eat if you weren't pregnant. I know you only need like 1 slice of toast extra from 2nd trimester or something like that, but in reality I needed something to get me through first triemster.

If you were a big drinker, that alone will make a significant difference

My BMI was 30.67 at my booking appointment, my NHS Trust threshold is 30 so that .67 is going to cause me loads of bother. It puts me in the 'obese' category, though I generally wear a size 12!

I've lost about 5-6lbs since becoming pregnant, maybe more as I've not weighed myself in about 2 weeks and that's just down to no alcohol and food aversions. Just remembering that pregnancy is not an excuse to stuff my face should help!

I am determined to not pile on the weight and someone on here recommended using the MyFitnessPal app to track calories. Not to specifically diet but to make sure I am not overeating.

I have BMI of 41.5 and midwife has been very supportive and non judgemental. I see a consultant due to high risk and he just booked me in for extra scans, and prescribed aspirin. I am also on high dose folic acid.
Midwife recommended slimming world for healthy eating planning, this has worked well for me.
To be honest I have hardly changed my diet except for upping the fruit and veg. 1st trimester sickness was bad, but I was able to eat fairly normally. 2nd trimester I lost my appetite a bit but am no longer nauseated by greasy food. I've had some naughty days for sure.
I haven't gained any weight at all, now at 26 weeks.
I'm sure I may now start to gain a little but am quite relaxed about it. I was afraid of getting too big and the pressure on my knees mainly. I've got SPD, not sure of more comments when obese however the group physio I went to had loads of skinny ladies in it so maybe not!
You'll be fine. Follow midwife and doc advice and you won't need to worry.