27 weeks pregnant and really struggling with work

[Kej13]

Just looking for a little bit of advice please...

In currently 27+3 weeks pregnant and really struggling with work. I have a desk job so it's not physically demanding but the last few weeks I've felt so stressed and can't seem to get past it. My workload is no higher than normal but I just don't feel like I can focus on anything and constantly worried about making mistakes. I've still got just over 8 weeks left until I go on maternity leave and honestly don't know how I'll survive another 8 weeks ☹️

Just wondered if anyone else was in the same position? xxxx

I am exactly the same position. I get tired and fed up easily, hate the commute on days I have to go into London. Counting down until Mat leave!

I am 29 weeks and I am now starting to feel properly pregnant and I too have wondered how is this going to feel in another few weeks time! Just hang on in there, try to keep really busy so the days go fast and it will be here before we know it!

I was signed off for 2 weeks with work related stress at 27 weeks and went on maternity leave early at 29 weeks because the company turned into a bunch of c...s and treated me awfully.

I have a desk job, but I really started to struggle around week 26, it got to the point I was sent home and went to see the mh nurse.
I had severe brain fog and just couldn't focus and I worked myself up so much it was getting stressful.
I ended up taking my annual leave early and starting my maternity leave at 33+3, it was the best thing for me, I'm now 37 weeks, I was worried I'd get bored waiting for baby, but it's amazing what you find to do to keep busy.

Is there anyway you can talk to your manager and strip back your role slightly, to try and ease a bit of the pressure?

I’m 30 weeks and feel the same. I’ve had low iron and been so tired. I keep working from home, don’t think they’re thrilled, but no ones said anything to me. They also want me to do a handover of my whole job to someone in 4 weeks

My work have been c*s. Have had some complications, pain sickness etc and they suddenly decided wfh was not allowed. I was so embarrassed and stressed it made me mentally unwell and I've now been diagnosed with antenatal depression. I am so angry with them, I've just stopped caring. I was working my butt off for them.
I was going to take early mat leave and then I realised how much I would lose financially. So I've been signed off. I will be taking mat leave at 36 weeks, the point at which a pregnancy related sickness would trigger it. As for the rest, I get full sick pay. So they lose out. Perhaps they should have followed their own policies and treated me like a human being.
Do what is best for you. Don't sacrifice your health for an employer who couldn't give 2 sh**s about you, most likely.
Though bear in mind, if you don't get full sick pay this can massively impact maternity pay. It is a juggling act for sure. The GP can also sign a fit note stating you must wfh, could be an option.

I am currently 12 weeks and job hunting, but I am wondering whether I should work :/ as already I am struggling to cope when I dont even have a job

Op if you are struggling you can bring your mat leave start forward. Its difficult to estimate how you will feel in late pregnancy for anyone.

If you are unwell speak to your gp as they may sign you off work until mat leave.

Thank you everyone, makes me feel a little more 'normal'. I've been in my job for years but just find myself staring at the clock and constantly worried about making mistakes. I've spoken to my boss numerous times and I just don't feel supported. I don't get full sick pay so would be SSP which is even worse than SMP. I'm already worried about being on SMP (but we'll be fine!) I just don't want to lose out on any money whilst I can work...

My commute is only 8 miles yet takes 45 mins each way which I hate. I've been thinking about seeing if I can work from home but I don't think it's an option really which is a shame. I also have to train my maternity cover which is stressful because I feel I can't properly concentrate on my job, which makes worrying about making mistakes even worse!

I do have some holiday left over but not enough to make a huge difference, perhaps a week? Which I will save and take so I can go earlier but I'm just really concerned that all this stress and anxiety can't be good for my baby 😭 xxxx

@Aimily that literally sounds exactly like me. Like the harder I try to work through the fog the worse I get! I've always suffered with anxiety and was on medication before I got pregnant but came off and have been fine up until the last few weeks 😬 really wish we could afford for me to go on maternity leave at 29 weeks. I hope the rest of your pregnancy has been much more relaxed?

I've asked my boss about that, not really an option apparently! Xxx

@hope9092 I started my new job at 10 weeks after 11 months off getting a diagnosis for my spinal arthritis. I'm now 17+5 and it's hard, especially adapting to the new routine, but it's helping out financially before baby comes. They won't pay me mat pay as I haven't been working for them long enough but other than that they've been amazing.

OP, I'm struggling too but much earlier on than you. I'm taking on a lot of extra work to cover holidays and it is taking its toll, very stressed. I only work 9-3 so I'm able to have some time after work to walk/relax etc. Hope things get better for you!

That's the trouble, I work 8-5 so leave around 7:15 and don't get back until almost 6, and by then I'm so drained from the day even if I had energy I wouldn't want to do anything.

I hope things pick up for you during your pregnancy xxxx

@kej13, yep that's exactly it, and when the most basic thing goes wrong, it's humiliating. I transferred a call to the complete wrong person and confused about 4 people for almost half an hour. So embarrassing and such a stupid mistake. Usually something you just brush off, I cried over it...

I've been a lot more relaxed, spent more time with family and friends, you don't realise how much being an adult and working gets in the way of life until you have endless free time 😳

If you can't strip your role back it's there any way you could start your hand over earlier? In theory it's just training, but in reality you're lightening your load and lessening your responsibility in the process.

Also, try not to worry about money, it's one of those things that although it looks big, you will manage. You will find a way to cope xxx

That's the trouble, I work 8-5 so leave around 7:15 and don't get back until almost 6, and by then I'm so drained from the day even if I had energy I wouldn't want to do anything.

You need your DP to step up and do absolutely everything. I mean everything. Doesn’t matter if they work full time, that’s the way it has to be until you go on mat leave.

With my first I went on mat leave at 38 weeks. Had a job with shift work, shifts that spun right out so going over 12 hours was not unusual, on feet the entire time, in charge of a department and had to be mentally on the ball as patients lives literally depended on it. At the end my feet wouldn’t fit into any enclosed or stewpot shoes at all as they were so swollen so I had to wear thongs (non compliant but apparently the preference was to turn a blind eye to this rather than work with me to go on leave any earlier). Subsequent pregnancies I went off at 36 weeks. With all I had calls after starting Mat leave begging me to go in- I ignored the voice mails and never returned the calls.

Anyway point being it can work if you get DP to do absolutely everything (including any other childcare). Just get up, shower, come home, eat your ready made meal and go to bed. Get up and repeat. With meals, if DP can’t have something ready by the time you walk in the door then make sure they use a meal in advance system where you heat up the meal made the night before. I used to come in the door, eat dinner and be in bed in under an hour. That was life as it had to be for that period.

*stewpot ?????? It autocorrected ‘strappy’

Isn't mat pay calculated on your earnings between weeks 17 and 25? If so, going on SSP now wouldn't affect your mat pay.

@ivyleaf4 I'm not 100% sure to be honest but what I meant was before I go on maternity I don't want to miss any days of work unless I have to so I can save as much of my full time wage for when I do go on maternity leave. Not sure how they calculate it, I thought was just 90% of earnings for 6 weeks then £148 a week?

@Aimily oh no! I completely understand that feeling! The trouble is I haven't actually done anything wrong (yet) but just constantly worrying and second guessing myself...

@HoppingPavlova he's been really good to be fair but I really don't like him waiting on me hand and foot but I do think I'm going to have to start letting him ...

I struggled with work pretty much the entire way through this pregnancy. I’m now 30 weeks and got signed off sick a week and a half ago- it honestly feels like such a weight has lifted and although I’m still suffering physically, mentally i am in a much better place. Like you I was worried about how all of my anxiety and stress was affecting baby and I feel so much better now knowing I’ve made the right decision for me and baby and am allowing myself to both rest, and also do things to look after myself like swimming and short walks. Go and see your gp- even if you just take a couple of weeks off to relax a bit and regroup, it will do you a world of good. It’s not worth the anxiety.

I can imagine.

My colleague who left today for mat leave looked exhausted

She's been training me for 3 months, and we speak a different first language! Not surprising she's shattered

You need to look after yourself and baby. I had to go off sick at 30 weeks for 3 weeks and had holidays in that went right up until my due date when I officially start my mat leave. My work were brilliant with me as I do work my butt off, but they told me to take it easy. I didn't listen of course and suffered more than I should have and had to get a sick line. I have suffered from pelvic girdle pain since 21 weeks and it got worse and worse.
Dont get yourself worked up or ill. There's no shame in admitting you are struggling. Why don't you ask your work to perhaps cut your hours instead of going off sick? That's what I did and my work were more than happy with that.

@Flamingolisa I've had PGP too although some days it's not so bad and I'm okay to go around my day but sometimes it really gets me and I can hardly move.

I know I shouldn't but I feel guilty because I need to train my maternity leave and hand over really. My work have been good as gold throughout my pregnancy and been really understanding with me. I had an MMC in 2017 and had loads of time off then and my boss has been really good at letting me go to any appointment at next to no notice so I really don't want to leave anyone in the lurch you know? The only trouble is he isn't supportive enough whilst in actually at work in that he doesn't really appreciate how much I do or help out as much as he should do at all.

Think I'm gonna try the next 2 weeks to take me to 30 weeks and just see how I get on. I could always get signed off then but really want to earn as much money as possible before SMP kicks in, but not at the cost of my mental health or my baby! Xxxx