Pregnancy after miscarriage

[Gemster19]

Ladies,

This is a totally self-indulgent thread but I am in desperate need of some reassurance...and I'm sure there are hundreds of other ladies out there feeling the same.

I have just this weekend miscarried my first pregnancy at 5+2 and I am heartbroken. We were incredibly lucky to have conceived on our first try (just 9 days after having my copper coil removed) and everything seemed fine. I had a load of pretty obvious symptoms from around implantation, contained my excitement until the day after AF was due, and got a super strong BFP. That all came crashing down on Sunday when I started to bleed to the extent that the out of hours GP sent me straight to A&E and the EPU confirmed on Monday that our baby was gone.

I totally appreciate that we were so lucky to have fallen so quickly, and that there are ladies on here who have been through so much worse than I have, but the overwhelming feeling I have now is absolute, irrational fear that it won't happen for us. I have read all the science about why it most likely happened and all the stats about how rare recurrent miscarriages are, but of course it seems that there are so many more sad stories out there than happy ones.

I am dying to hear your stories about happy, healthy pregnancies after miscarriage - please reassure me and anyone else in the same situation that there is hope and baby dust out there for us all 💗

I’m so sorry for your loss, it feels impossible in those moments I have had several late miscarriages (4/5 months in), always had super strong positive results when getting tested eg “wow you’re very pregnant!” level positives.

I have a son, who is two and a half, who was conceived after two miscarriages (we also knew why). He’s perfect, and makes me fall in love with him even more every single day. I had a miscarriage after this, and on Friday, I get to have my little girl! They are the biggest achievements of my life, and I am so grateful for them. We will have a third child in a few years, we’d like to adopt, and I am equally excited about this. It makes no difference to me and I’m so thankful for my family. I love them more than I love life, I love them so much it’s crushing, and utterly perfect. It is possible

I'm so so sorry op. It is truly heartbreaking. Went through this myself at 9 weeks. My doctor immediately scheduled me for a d&c.
I'm not in the uk(moved back to HC)
And my doctor put me on a plan to get pregnant again and I was pregnant on my first cycle. We don't wait here for 3 cycles of MC to investigate. You are routinely scheduled for a d&c and investigations are done immediately.

We were totally blindsided as we had my first ds and it was fine. I'm not sure if your doctor has given you any advice on what to do next?

So sorry for your loss :( I lost my first pregnancy at 8 weeks back in December after trying for 7 months. It's so hard to deal with the grief, emotional and physical healing and the torment of ttc all at once. All I can say is, keep positive and believe. I felt like it was never going to happen and if it did, something would go wrong again but that's a perfectly normal reaction to something you want so badly and after suffering such a tragedy. I'm now 8+4 and so far, so good. I believe it only took 5 months this time. My mum always says "don't stress out over things you can't change" which is easier said than done but is a great saying to live by if you can manage it. I wish you all the best in the coming months and hope you feel a lot better soon x

Thank you all for your kind replies, they've given me more strength than you realise over these last couple of days - to speak to people who understand what this feels like is such a relief. This has hit me so much harder than I expected (although I suppose you never expect it to happen to you), I guess because I never expected to fall so quickly that once I did my brain just took it for granted that there would be a baby at the end of it, and that the next 9 months were all planned out for me. This time last week I was working out what my maternity leave dates would be (massive control freak here!) and then all of a sudden baby is gone, all the symptoms are gone and it feels like there's nothing to look forward to.

@sergeilavrov how exciting that you will soon have one of each! How has your pregnancy been this time around? How you've found the strength to get through multiple losses is so amazing. I've always said I would like to adopt our last child too.

@AyBeeCee10 you must have been over the moon to fall again so quickly! Are you pregnant now or was this some time ago? To be honest I have been so disappointed with the care I've received, I know it was very early but even before it went wrong I was so unimpressed, my GP wouldn't even see me when I found out I was pregnant and I can't get an appt now, and I hadn't even been acknowledged by my midwife in spite of registering my pregnancy a week earlier, which for a first timer was so worrying because I felt like I didn't know what I should or shouldn't have been doing (and of course given the outcome am now racked with guilt that I did something wrong). Then on Monday I was packed off from the EPU without so much as a pamphlet! Do you mind me asking what sort of plan it was your GP gave you - was it dietary/vitamin/DTD advice? I still don't really have a clue what I should be doing now - half the info out there says my chances are better if we conceive again as quickly as possible, whilst the other half says to give my body a break!

@Charm23 that's such happy news - how are you coping? I imagine you must have been so anxious especially up to this point.

Very happy news indeed! I'm coping very well thank you for asking. I thought I'd be constantly worried but as I mentioned before, I've learned to live by the "don't stress out over things you can't change" motto and so I'm taking each day as it comes and trying to look at things as realistically as possible which includes accepting that I may miscarry again. I'm still anxious every time I go to the loo, inspecting the toilet paper for blood and I doubt that will change, at least not for a long while. I'm 9 weeks tomorrow and starting to believe that perhaps this pregnancy will last and I'll actually have a baby come February! My advice to you is when (when, not if!) you get pregnant again, let yourself enjoy it, don't get stuck on the negatives and what ifs. How are you feeling? It sounds like you've not had very good support from your GP which is dreadful. I had an awful time afterwards and actually ended up formally complaining to my local NHS. If you feel like you need to talk to someone you can always message me or I'm sure there is professional help you can request too x

I have had HG and exhaustion throughout (again!) so it’s not been great! Also got the nose of a bloodhound so our house has had all garlic and onion banished for 9 months. DH is Arab so not the best for him! But I’ve gotten through it and gained just about enough weight to be healthy - it’ll be worth it tomorrow. I hope you know that it always does get better, even if better looks like different things for different people. You’ll look back and see how strong and resilient you are. You’ll also recall how absolutely loved your little bump was - and you will always have that.

Sending lots of hugs, I hope you’re surrounded by a good support network?

@Gemster19 So sorry to hear about your loss - my heart goes out to you. Thank you for making this thread, I had a MMC this year in March and am now 7 weeks pregnant and still anxious, but it's nice reading other people's stories with happy endings !
I wasnt told to do anything different after the MMC just to wait for my first AF before trying again but I did start taking pregnacare conception which I did think helped to regulate my BBT.

Wishing you lots of luck for your future BFP! Hope you get it real soon