Constant Worrying About Miscarriage

[Msmercer]

Hi, I am 6 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy. I found out 2 weeks ago and have been a nervous wreck ever since. All I think about is the chance of missed miscarriage, my baby not developing or there being no heartbeat at our scan.

I’ve booked an early viability scan for this Sunday when I will be 7+2 but I just can’t stop thinking about the worst case scenario.

OH has offered to pay for a scan every week if it calms me down, and we can afford it but I don’t know if I’m being silly :(

Read so many horror stories and I just can’t feel excited or happy

If you can afford it I’d go for the extra scans. I had one almost every week from 7 - 16 weeks, I’d had a mmc in December and my anxiety was out of control. I had an early scan with my son to make sure there was something there but other than I was so naive and just didn’t expect anything to go wrong, it was a much nicer pregnancy!

I think once you start feeling them it’s a little bit easier but then the worry of are they moving enough or too much kicks in. If you’re an anxious person you probably won’t relax until the baby is born and in and your arms and even then it doesn’t stop - there bugs and sickness and accidents - they’re always a worry!!

For me, at least one night a week I felt relaxed that baby was in there and growing and doing what she should, 19 weeks now and starting to enjoy it a little bit more. Hopefully the scan at Sunday will put your mind at ease. I don’t know the stats but once you’re passed about 8-9 weeks the chance of miscarriage is reduced significantly x

Hi @Msmercer - I know exactly how you feel, I'm 14 weeks tomorrow and the early days were so hard. You're not being silly at all - our babies are precious to us!

I can promise you it gets better. The first scan will help a lot - once you see a little heartbeat, the odds are massively in favour of the pregnancy continuing successfully. I found that having a couple more scans before the 12-week mark gave me a lot of reassurance and comfort, so I say go for it since you're in a position to do so financially.

Something else that helped me was this: datayze.com/miscarriage-chart.php

I found it very reassuring to see the odds improve every day.

I know it's hard but keep as busy as you can. Congratulations - because this is great news! - and good luck for Sunday - let us know how you get on!

Im exactly the same im 5+4 today and im a nervous wreck. Got a scan when im 7weeks. Its like i need constant reassurance

I’m 9 weeks tomorrow and this is my worry as well. I think this past week I’ve been so floored with nausea and vomiting that I’ve not had time to worry as much (if that makes sense). We had an early scan at 6+1 (thought I was a bit further) and saw the heartbeat and that made me feel much better. Going for another one on Sunday so hoping that will help me a bit too. I read so much on these forums about miscarriages and it makes me think that it’s happened to near enough everyone but the stats are there which state you have a much higher chance of a successful pregnancy than not - so just have to try and keep positive.

@marshmallow1992 my OH said people are a lot more likely to come onto a forum and talk about a bad experience - when something has gone well there is less need to talk to about it, which makes sense. Still doesn’t help the worry :’( I desperately want to be excited but it’s so so hard

I’m currently 25 weeks and the first few weeks were awful for me. After 2 miscarriages I was terrified of it happening again, we ended up having scans every 2 weeks until I got to 12 weeks to try and reassure me but I would still worry constantly.

I can sympathise , I was exactly the same at your point in pregnancy, I did have a scan at 6 weeks and it helped a bit but I was still so nervous all the time.

Your OH is right though, people do tend to post more about negative stuff, the risk of missed miscarriage is really low. If I had one, I probably would have vented about it online. I didn't and never posted about my pregnancy at all.

It's easier said than done but please try and not stress about it too much. The odds are greatly in your favour.

@RedPandaFluff thank you. That website is really helpful. I'm 6+4 and some days feel like a miscarriage is inevitable which is such an unhealthy mindset.

@Msmercer I can totally relate with you ! I am also 6 weeks pregnant (6 + 5 ) I had a MMC in March so I do feel really anxious although I do try to push the thoughts to the back of my head!

We have a scan on the same day! This Sunday so fingers crossed we both have healthy little beans in there with strong heartbeats ! 💕🤞

My anxiety has been quite bad at times and I've had scans at 6, 8, 10, 11 and 12 weeks, and it's been a huge help and reassurance in getting me through. I'm now starting to feel better and believe in this pregnancy and allow myself to dream about the future.

I would do whatever you need to get yourself through these tough early weeks. Also consider finding a fertility counsellor. I had a session last week and it was a real pivot point for me in terms of building confidence and putting to bed some of the memories of the past and allowing to see this pregnancy as a new story.

I’m totally the same I’m 12+6 miscarried in nov and been a wreck everyday. Scan every few weeks it defo settles my mind and gives me more mini milestones to look forward to.
Everyone tells me don’t worry unless there’s cause and it’s defo easier said than done but I’m trying not to let my worry rob me of the good and happy feelings of being pregnant. Hopefully you can find you peace ( or some sense of it soon) xx

Joining in as I feel exactly the same! I'm currently 6 weeks and found out when I was just 4 weeks. I have also booked in for an early scan in a week and a half so I'll be just under 8 weeks. Feeling very nervous but also reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling this way!

@Sparkle0109 oh good luck for yours!! I’m counting down, soooo nervous. I’m 7 weeks tomorrow 😀 Mine is at 12.45pm - when’s yours? Please let me know how you get on❤️

@S082018 it’s an awful feeling, I want to be excited but I know how common it is and that it’s out of my control and I hate that. Please let me know how you get on❤️ Good luck and I’m praying for a strong little heartbeat ❤️

@Msmercer good luck ! Keeping everything crossed for you that everything is all good !
Thank you! Mine is booked for 11am, i will let you know how I get on! I am 7 weeks today! How you feeling? Any symptoms yet ?

@Msmercer are you me!? I could have seriously written this a few weeks back! I was also banned from mumsnet by DH cos all I read was negative stories. Its all I could think about. I'm now 20 weeks!

I went and had an early scan and it made me feel worse, not better. Wasted £80 too! My advice would be to try and wait it out until 12 weeks, keep your mind busy and don't go looking for anything on the internet.
Chances are that you will be absolutely fine!! It's all a bit of a waiting game this pregnancy business, just waiting for the next appointment to be told everything is ok.

Hope you start to feel better soon

@Msmercer just wanted to wish you lots of luck for your scan today ! I really hope we both get to see a lovely heartbeat. Please keep updated 💕good luck !

@Sparkle0109 hi hun, how did yours go? My worst fears confirmed - I am 7w 2d but I have an empty sac measuring 6w 4d :( being referred to an early assessment unit tomorrow. Xx

@Msmercer I'm so sorry to read your update. You must be so upset. Have they said there's any hope? 💐

@Msmercer I am so so sorry for your loss. 💕💕

Not your loss sorry your update!