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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do sonographers use generic term "he" in scans?

20 replies

munchymoo · 25/06/2019 10:27

I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant with DC2. We already have a 3 year old DS. We had a scan yesterday and told the consultant right before the scan that we didn't want to know the gender. She said no problem, but during the scan she definitely said "he's moving around".

I know this sounds so silly but I really, really don't want to know. I feel awful saying this but I'd love a daughter and this will be my last pregnancy for various reasons mainly age; we had 2 miscarriages last year and I have many friends who can't conceive and I feel so terribly guilty for worrying about something so meaningless and unimportant! Of course I will be besotted with DC2 when s/he arrives and won't care about the gender - part of the reason I just didn't want to find out during the pregnancy.

Anyway DH reckons that yes she might have slipped up and let the cat out of the bag but unlikely as she is such an experienced consultant, he thinks also possible some of them may use "he" as a generic term as nicer than "it"..... has anyone had a scan and this happened and then went on to deliver the opposite gender to the one referred to in scan??

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FraggleRocking · 25/06/2019 10:45

This does happen. At all of our scans baby was referred to as ‘he’ or ‘she’ throughout depending on who performed it. Same with midwives. Even now we know, midwives or sonographers who haven’t looked at the sex in the notes will just continue on with what they are used to using. I wouldn’t overthink it.

Nov19 · 25/06/2019 11:01

I was always told that a lot of the medical staff would use he/she rather than ‘it’ so as not to offend you. I wouldn’t think into it too much!

Polkadotpolly · 25/06/2019 17:58

I’ve heard it as a generic term so I wouldn’t worry just yet!

BoogieNites · 25/06/2019 18:02

Sister was told He in scans when she didn't want to know and was so upset. But she had a girl so it was a surprise, and we reckon that they just said he as matter of course

Teddybear45 · 25/06/2019 18:03

My sonographer called the baby ‘it’ throughout, so it probably just depends on who you get.

rollonoctober2019 · 25/06/2019 22:33

Think Everywhere's different. Had an early scan where they said he as generic, but had another scan later where even after we said we already knew he was a boy the sonographer continued to say "it"

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 25/06/2019 22:39

My dp asked the midwife in our epu this, she said they refer to babies as ‘he’ so there’s the distinction between mother and baby so her heart rate is mother and his heart rate is baby- nothing to do with knowing the gender!

Slicedpineapple · 26/06/2019 10:29

During our scans they just said 'baby' even though we knew we were having a girl. We saw 3 different sonographers and they all said this.

roseinparadise · 26/06/2019 10:37

Yes. My sonographer used he. We had a girl.

catlike1979 · 28/06/2019 09:27

Our sonographer interchanged between "baby" and "he" at our 20 wk scan, we don't know what we're having yet as we asked not to know but the sonographer said "he" when he first put the probe on my tummy and showed the baby's head, so he couldn't possibly have known the gender then?!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 28/06/2019 09:31

Yes, in my experience they’ll use s/he or baby throughout. I’ve got 5dc & had the same 3 sonographers for all of them. 2 used she, 1 used baby at all scans (I was serially scanned with all l, so there were many)

Earlywalker · 28/06/2019 09:37

Our sonographer said ‘she’ throughout and at the end when we said we wanted to know the sex she said ‘oh that won’t be hard, I’ve seen his bits already!’

So I really think they use generic he/she as saying ‘it’ might offend.

scaevola · 28/06/2019 09:40

IME yes. Just like old textbooks they default to 'he' without explanation.

Nobody likes saying 'it' but it would be better reactive to be like modern textbooks, pick a default pronoun, and explain that it is only that - the default, that means either/both.

(Usually you'd go for 'they' but that might be a bit alarming in these circs if confused with twins)

Slomi · 28/06/2019 09:43

I had 10+ scans with 5+ sonographers as I had a few complications that needed monitoring and at least 3 of the sonographers said he. DD is most definitely a girl. I can see why they do it as saying "the baby" every single time gets a bit tedious

qj17 · 28/06/2019 09:45

The sonographer said to my friend 'like father like son' during one scan so she assumed it was a boy ...

It was a girl.

Kinsters · 28/06/2019 09:52

I think it's probably normal to just use anything (and he is normally the default). I'm only 13 weeks so have no idea of sex yet but I call the baby he or she depending on my mood when I need to use a pronoun - I don't like using it, just sounds a bit impersonal!

Untamedtoad · 28/06/2019 10:24

Mine have always been referred to as "baby" during a scan. Apart from when sonographer slipped up and said "she's not playing ball today!" At a scan with our 2nd. Straight away I asked if she knew if we were having a boy or girl, and she said girl without even checking, so I think it was a genuine slip up and she forgot we didn't already know at that point. It didn't matter as we were going to ask anyway, but if we didn't want to know I would have been a bit annoyed as she definitely said "she" because she knew it was a girl, it wasn't being used as a generic term imo.

Dyrne · 28/06/2019 10:29

Agree that they were probably using it as a generic term to avoid using ‘It’.

But also just a gentle reminder that accidentally finding out your baby’s sex a couple of months early is at the absolute bottom of the list of “worst things to find out at a scan”.

BlueMerchant · 28/06/2019 10:30

Both my DC were referred to as 'baby'.
I so think it's more likely that it wasn't a slip up, although others have had a different experience.
Friends (different hospitals) have always said their lo was referred to as 'baby' or 'it' too.

hayleys1 · 28/06/2019 10:33

Our sonographer referred to 'he' in our scan and we didn't want to know. I was then convinced we were having a boy but ended up having a girl so I believe it's just a generic term!

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