So scared about labour second time around

[user1478639495]

Hi all
I don't know where else I can vent my worries here as everyone seems to think k I'm being daft but I am due with my second child any day now, we'll due date is 2.5 weeks but things feel like they could be close.

I am so nervous about giving birth again, anytime I get a slight twinge or some wind (ha) I immediately feel scared and nervous and tense up then I realize it isn't labour starting and I'm fine but the fear is quite strong.

I know what's coming I know it hurts and I guess that's the issue but I'm also getting anxious about not being prepare the baby arriving quickly and not getting to the hospital on time I'm over thinking it I suppose because I'm so nervous. Any tips or advice you can share?
Thank you all xxx

To some extent you don't really know what's coming as every labour is different.

It hurts, but you'll get through it. I gave birth to my second yesterday morning. Towards the end I didn't think I could do it, but staff were nice and it's amazing what you can force your body to do when you need to.
Plus I found the memory of pain does fade. Yesterday's baby was back to back (but head down). It did hurt but try not to let worry ruin this window before te at is born.
I hope everything goes well for you.

@user1478639495 I totally understand your anxiety. I'm only 7 weeks with my second but I've always said with labour "better the devil you DON'T know!" Have you tried hypnobirthing? It hugely helped me with my first. The biggest takeaway was the breathing - so do be practising your breathing - and having a mantra - sounds silly - but it's a phrase or two that you tell Your birthing partner so they can remind you and it helps you get in the zone - so mine was "one push closer to my baby bring here" I said over and over again and hubby did too and it got me through. It's not a walk in the park but getting in the zone is what you need and you will do it. Try relaxation tapes too like mindful mama etc in the run up. Wishing you luck and strength - you'll be fine and it's always worth it.

My second labour was so much better than my first (which included hemorrhaging and third-degree tears ). I didn't have any pain relief, not even gas and air, and he popped out within four hours. I was up and about the next day with no problems.

It's highly unlikely that you won't get to the hospital on time, it'll probably still take a few hours. Honestly, you'll be fine and personally, I found it so much easier as an experienced parent. Good luck!

It's been a long time since I was in your position, but yes I do remember that the second time was much worse than the first time ! I'm a midwife and you'd think I'd have known what to expect both times, but when I had my first I was just as inexperienced as any other woman . It was all new so I just "rolled with the flow".

Second time around I was much more nervous - I did know what it was going to be like ! But I actually had a much easier time . Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Thank you all, had made me feel a little better, just so nervous and I don't feel organized at all this time around, I think that's bothering me as until I feel like I've got everything ready for me and baby I can't relax, the house is a tip and I'm trying my hardest to get it all tidy and clean before baby arrives, I know it won't last long but at least when I come home I'll feel better knowing baby and me are coming home to a clean and tidy house. All probably sounds very silly but it is bothering me and then obviously the pain and getting to the hospital on time. Going to a new hospital and not knowing where exactly I'm going makes me nervous, oh I'm being so silly just need to chill out and calm down, it's going to hurt but I've done it once I can do it again.

To the mum who had her baby yesterday, wow well done you, you must feel incredible, also very tired and hurting but above all incredible for getting your baby out safely well down and huge congratulations to you! ☺️

Read the book Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin - the second half has a great explanation of how it is a natural process and our bodies are equipped to do this. It changed my whole perception of labour. I'm currently reading it again as I'm pregnant with my second and I'm feeling really positive! Best of luck xx

Have you had an epidural? It really helps. I’ve had two dc. My first I wasn’t able to get epirdural until 8 Cm bc hospital was full. It was unbearable pain. I was so scared to go through that again. But second time around I got it at 5cm. It made it so much better, while pushing my son out I was talking about having a third baby. Now I’m pregnant w a third. I’m a little worried. But usually towards the end I’m just ready to get baby out.

It’s natural to be worried. My second labour was an induction so I knew what date (booked in the day before as 41+5 days). I’d gone through the breaking of waters before so knew what to expect and didn’t mind it at all. First labour I went against the advice of hospital and didn’t get the epidural until after 20 hours. And after having the oxytocin to bring on my contractions which stopped. I completely forgot the pain from the first time😂

Second time round, I was ready to push at 4cms. Once I got the epidural all was fine, and I was coherent and knew what was happening. I knew the processes as I’d done it before. 2nd labour played out the same way but quicker (8 hours). Fever, checking of oxygen levels in baby as some distress but I’d done it before and was okay with everything.

So sometimes it just clicks in. I remembered things I’d forgotten. But I got to push the second time round. Didn’t get to hold her straight away (didn’t on first dd either-she was gone for hours!) but I got her about 5 mins later and did a quick feed before she was whisked away. Saw her again about 2 hours later. I think my first labour taught me a lot of lessons about not sticking to plans. Just to let it happen. Good luck. And enjoy the nesting. And try to get some sleep before. My parents took my dd for a week overnight (had contractions on New Year’s Eve) so to save them waking in the night, they took her every night just in case. Meant I got to sleep when I could and we went out during the day and dropped her off at bedtime. So my advice is to do that if you can closer to the time. You’ll need all your energy.

Thanks everyone really appreciate this, I've been quite calm but now I'm sat here and back is aching and I'm getting the odd twinge honestly
Could be nothing at all but the back aching thing is making me wonder. I am so scared the thought of it happens tonight makes me
Feel scared not nervous now. I can't do anything about it I'm trying to tell myself be calm and cool it's all fine but I have this horrible fear and I don't want to freak out and give into that. Any more wise words?!?! How do I get through this pain again need to get my head in the game but how! Help!
Maybe, calm, cool, collected 😐😐😐

My labour was quicker and less painful the second time, no pain relief needed.. i was petrified towards the end of pregnancy, everyone was giving me tips to try get baby to come out and i said no i dont want to try anything i dont want him to come out i was sooo scared because i knew what was coming but it was so much better than the first time, even though he was bigger.. dont think the worst, i am now 15+6 with baby number 3, my 2nd is 18months, and this time round im a lot more positive, what will be will be, your body is amazing, this is what its made to do, trust in yourself, stay calm, remember whats coming out at the end, there is a lot of pain relief you can have if you need it isnt there like an epidural, you will be fine my lovely im sure! Everything will work out x good luck

My second labour was quite different to my first - more intense but much quicker, it was over in 80 mins. I didn't even feel like I'd had a baby afterwards, it was fine. With my first I peed my pants every time I coughed for 3 months afterwards! They were totally different experiences.

Try not to worry. You don't know what the universe will throw at you and you've survived it once, you can survive it again.

Haha aw thank you ladies really, really appreciate this. It is helping ☺️ well nothing happened that night and got myself into a fight panic over it! So silly. Still waiting for bubba to arrive feeling slightly calmer but still panic when I get just the slightest twinge, need to get over myself and put my big girl pants on. I really
Hope I can get my head into a strong positive place and be strong and just get through it without panicking. Fingers crossed

It's statically very unlikely that you won't make it to the hospital on time. It very rarely happens.

Also the second one is often easier than the first. And there's so many pain relief options these days! I felt more relaxed after talking to my doctor about all the pain relief options. Maybe you could have an epidural?

Look after yourself OP, and I know it's easier said than done but do try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

This may just be a coincidence but Most people I know had a more positive experience with their 2nd births - quicker with less medical intervention.

My first was a 13 hour labour, epidural, episiotomy, ventouse type thing.

My second was an induction which I was v worried about but it was over in 50 minutes from first twinge of pain to delivery!

Good luck

Hi all just want to say thanks again for all your positive responses, and feel like I should update you all!

I had my second beautiful boy last Saturday 5 hours after his due date lol

It was very intense, very painful I did struggle with the contractions as they were so close together and quite long but that's because it was so quick! My waters went at 1am contractions from 2am in the hospital for 4 and he was born at 5.30am!!

I only had gas and air as things moved too quickly for pain relief but I'm glad now I didn't have any pain relief I was so proud of myself!! :)

@user1478639495well done. I love hearing these stories as I am. Due any day now and very anxious.

Enjoy your newborn and well done. You should be so proud x

Awww wow how exciting!!
Good luck to you, you will be fine, I was extremely nervous and scared hence the post lol but really there was nothing to worry about it was all over so quickly and he was here in my arms, I felt so proud of myself for getting through it, so different I my first I felt more aware and once I got my head in the right place in control and I just went for it. Started to push and just thought come on just get it done, went for it and he was out within 20 mins of pushing 😊👶🏼 it's true what they say you really do forget it all it's so magical. Best of luck to you and your delivery please let me know how you get on would love to hear your labour story 🥰👶🏼 xxxx

@user1478639495 congratulations! Well done. I hope you and baby are doing well