Feeling so anxious and depressed

[mylittlenugget]

I have preeclampsia and Polyhydramnios (too much fluid) and I feel like I'm constantly worrying about the baby, scared they've missed something or I've missed something and that she's not okay. It takes everything possible to not have a panic attack when I get into that mode, which happens frequently through out the day. I try to be asleep as much as possible and I say it's because I'm not sleeping at night but it's because I'm trying to block out the anxiety.
Then there's the depression. I hate the way my body looks. I hate the fact my stomach isn't a bump anymore, it just looks and feels fat. I could quite easily pass for someone who's already given birth it's that wobbly. And it hurts to be touched so that doesn't help. Then the stretch marks have just popped up over the last couple of weeks and I expected them, but it's still upsetting. I also hate that my body seemingly can't cope with pregnancy, and it doesn't seem to be keeping my baby safe anymore.
Thankfully I'm 37 weeks so not long left but it's still torture going through all these feelings every day.
Anybody else feel/felt like this?

I don’t feel like this (but I’m only 21w). But I do hear so often women say that the last weeks of pregnancy are the loneliest and most difficult. Both my best friends were miserable at the end of their pregnancies. One had had 4MCs before her pregnancy, and she admitted that she felt she had no right to be sad or upset about her circumstances at 36w, but she just wanted to get her life back.

Part of this is about the lack of control, that we are so used to being what we are by choice, we can lose weight when we want, eat when we want, wear what we want, go out and speak to who we want WHEN NOT PREGNANT, and then there is the waiting and guilt about stuff we want but can’t have yet, the worry about the responsibility of children...it all plays into a mental state in varying degrees.

I don’t know what to suggest. Do you have friends or family near by who can just pep you up a bit? Sorry. Hugs to you xxx

I'm meant to have at least one family member pop in every day but it's ended up not happening, or they've ended up making me feel worse. And no friends.
I think it is the lack of control making me feel bad, and then the fact that things have gone wrong is making it worse. Just want to know what's going on with me and my baby 😭

Oh my lovely, I’m only 15 + 2 but have been feeling very anxious. It’s such a scary, unknown worrying time anyway... then to deal with the other things you’ve had going on, it’s understandable you feel how you do.
I know anxiety & depression are so lonely & isolating. But remember you’re not alone, it’s very common in pregnancy!!
Here to talk if you need x

Thank you, I felt severe anxiety at the beginning of the pregnancy due to a miscarriage last year and remember begging every day for everything to be okay with the baby. It's been such an easy pregnancy despite my near constant moaning really, I've only had spd and horrible heartburn to deal with through out until last week. But I keep getting this horrible feeling that something isn't quite right despite the diagnoses and the monitoring. I'm going to the day unit tomorrow for assessment so hopefully I'll be enlightened as to what's actually going on now.