Just that really - not looking for any answers! Maybe some of you have felt similar.
Anyway so I was always really hardworking and doing ok at work, although lacked confidence etc. I have been a bit bored for a while but mostly because we'd decided to try for a baby and was v focussed on that. I get bored easily so tbh was sticking around mostly for easiness and maternity etc. But it's also a good job. Was in two minds whether to go back after baby or find something else. But I hadn't decided this and still thought there might be a future here.
But then I've been off a lot since pregnancy, for scans and sickness including some extra baby concerns (they're ok currently, but we've had to have way more time out than normal). Only my manager knows everything, so I do sometimes wonder how this looks to others in the office. I also feel like I'm slipping behind a bit and get so exhausted even at 22 weeks that I can't really do overtime anymore (as in I work hard but literally just do my hours and before I was seen as quite a hard worker). Whilst this has been going on, I've noticed a few of my colleagues have started to 'step up' and do loads of extra work. I've now heard wind of potential promotion for one of them.
I know I have no right to feel anything other than happy for them, but pregnancy hormomes or not, it's made me feel really down. A part of me was thinking of leaving anyway and I feel so lucky to have a lovely baby to focus on now, but work don't know this and a part of me wonders if I wasn't pregnant would it be the same.
Maybe it's just realisation that it's all going to change and I'll need to work 100x harder to get anywhere? I want to prove people wrong about my abilities about being pregnant and a soon to be mum, but I also partly can't be bothered anymore.. :(
Moan over. Just me?