Miscarriage

[Jg20]

I've just found out I've had a miscarriage and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to cope with this

:( hope you aren't alone going through this x

The miscarriage association website is very nicely done and was a great help to me.

Do you have support in RL?

There is no time constraint on your recovery from this .... take each day as it comes .... I tried to go back to normal ASAP and ended up having a meltdown a few weeks down the line

The miscarriage/pregnancy loss board in the Body and Soul section on here is a real comfort too. So sorry you’re going through this.

@sl07 @Blondiecub0109 @ronniemipperton thanks for the support ladies, I have a very supportive family and husband.. suppose it is just one of them things.

@Blondiecub0109 sorry to hear you went through it too, I have heard this before.. I just feel emotionless right now. Is that normal? I just want to hurry up and tell everyone who knew what's happened so it can be over and done with and I can just move on from it.

How you cope will depend very much on whether or not you wanted a baby. Secondly, your hormones will take a little while to get back to normal, depending on how far pregnant you were. As you have 'found out' you've had a miscarriage, it sounds as though it was a very early one.

Having miscarried myself, I know it's not pleasant. Do pamper yourself for a while, take things easy and if you need to talk about it, do so. I hope you have someone with whom you feel free enough to talk about this, not everyone is empathetic.

It takes a little time but you'll get over it. Ensure you are physically alright, no prolonged bleeding etc.

Take care .

Emotionless is a valid emotion. As blue Russian said, we all have different reactions depending on our circumstances. I’d had ivf so ‘knew’ the embryo was there so was horrified. ( I went on to get pregnant from Ivf 3 months later after 2 MCs and had a healthy baby)

Your emotions can change. If you look up Kubler Ross grief cycle, it’s a roller coaster and it takes time. Right now it’s very normal for you to want the physical side over. As blue Russian said how long that bit takes depending how long along you were. Even tho my 2nd MC was at 6 weeks and a few days, I had a bad back and breathelessness for about a month as the hormones lingered.

Just accept your emotions and try and talk to someone/people in RL. Fortunately but unfortunately you are not alone as once I opened up about my MC lots of my friends and colleagues had had at least one too. As blue Russian said though not everyone ‘gets it’ either because they not been there or they just don’t know what to do/say.

@Bluerussian @Blondiecub0109 thanks ladies. I suppose it's just one of those things.

I was at 6weeks and 3days through ivf too, I spent the last 5 months abroad away from family and friends including husband. I had two embryos transferred - it just kills knowing they are both were unsuccessful. I am thinking to try again in October?

Was this your first round of IVF? Do you have anything in the Freezer?

My clinic cleared me to go the month/first period after MC but I decided to do any endometrial scratch so it was 2.5 months later.

I know someone who’s IVF took just a month after her first go resulted in a ectopic requiring surgery. So can’t see any reason why October wouldn’t be just fine.

Unfortunately IVF is such a rollercoaster and it’s a marathon not a sprint

I am so so sorry. I miscarried last year at 11 weeks. I remember so many feelings. Denial (it might still be in there), then absolute sorrow and acceptance then a raging anger (it took so long for us to conceive).
But I also remember what I can only describe as a fog. It’s a very strange emotion to explain. My advice, from hindsight, I’d be kind to yourself, be selfish if you need to, talk to your partner (he’s grieving too although my husband didn’t show it straight away to protect me), take each day at a time and just go with how you are feeling. I have found by talking about it that you don’t have to go far to find women who have been through the same. We understand your heart ache and how you are feeling.
Do things in your own time, don’t let people tell you how you should feel or whether you should be ‘over’ it by a certain time.
Have faith that it gets easier, you don’t forget but you’ll find ways to cope.
The main thing is to look after yourself xxxxx I am so sorry you have been through this. Big virtual hugs to you xxxx