Pregnant with my first, but his third

[AndBeholdAWhiteHorse]

Starting to feel a bit unnerved by this. I was originally pleased that he'd have done this before as my first time parent nerves would be helped with experience from him but a bit apprehensive that he'll say "well such n such did it this way". I've tried to be realistic and knock those of thoughts away. However last night I had to listen to him and mates discuss previous births whilst I sat there thinking I'm the one actually going to have to push the baby out. I said I don't think I want him there (joking) if I'm going to get lectured on how his ex did it way back when. Am I just being sensitive or would this bother you too? He asked me if I was serious when home and I said not but he needs to consider that I'm doing this for the first time even if it is his third. I'm not the same person as his ex. Please tell me your experiences to help alleviate my concerns - I do have ages to go btw so know everything could change.

I would feel exactly the same as you. Infact my sister’s partner was so unfazed at the birth of her two children. (He’s fourth and fifth) that he didn’t even turn up 🤷‍♀️

Omg. If he did that me and baby would be coming home and changing the locks!

I’m in the exact same position - including the discussion of previous births in front of me! But as well as doing it with a friend in front of me, he also talked about them in great detail at our antenatal class which annoyed me as it just wasn’t necessary or relevant and it meant throughout the session people kept asking him questions about his experiences like he was some kind of guru. At the end of the day he didn’t actually do any birthing! I felt like I knew more about his ex’s birth canal than my own.

I’ve had to say I find it hard because it makes me a bit sad it’s not a new, exciting experience for him but also I think doing a hypnobirthing course together really helped.

His previous experiences were v medicalised and in hospitals and I want something completely different and learning all that stuff together for the first time for both of us helped. Although that being said he was quite dismissive at first until I burst into tears and said I needed him to take it seriously and stop being all ‘been there done that’.

I sympathise and understand as it’s really hard!

Honestly, I think you need to tell him how you feel. It is hard to remember how it felt first time round when you've had two children already, and he's in a different position to you.
I'm pg with DC3 but it's my partner's first, and none of his friends have kids yet. I've told him a lot about how my other pregnancies and births went and I've been able to tell him a lot about things that have come up in this pregnancy, what it means, what may need to happen etc. He's said it's weird knowing I've done this before but he also feels reassured that I've done it before. He loves to google stuff too and it's been lovely having a partner who's really interested in what's happening.
I think it's different when you're the one doing it for the first time, but he's probably acting similarly to me, and just feeling he's sharing his experiences, not comparing.
I'm sure he's aware that every birth is different so he won't expect it to be the same, but you should talk to him. Maybe going to an antenatal class together would help, and try not to take anything he talks about personally. He's with you, not her, and he's probably happy to feel more confident in the process this time.