Just found out I'm pregnant with (wanted) second but now feel awful. Please tell me this ends?

[fairybeagle]

Hi, I'm really hoping this is hormones. I have just found out I'm pregnant with our second, we have been trying and I was really excited. But now I feel awful. I feel scared and sad. Worried about the birth and the effect a second baby will have on my first, he's only 18 months.
I just feel so guilty and like I've made a mistake.
Has anyone else felt like this and then felt better?
I know I sound like a horrible person and this is not like me, I just feel so upset.

I think it's normal, I'm pregnant with my second and More scared then the first time around.

It just seems like it's going to be a juggle but I keep telling myself we'll manage.

I was exactly the same - felt really down for a good few weeks and still feel a bit odd. And sick. Hang in there x

I was, and am, the same. 9 weeks now and still feel very confused about this pregnancy. We always said we’d have another and our first is 2.5 so timing wise it all seems right, but I’m still worried about the impact on her, our finances, my career, managing on my own with two (once DH is back at work), and I don’t especially want to be pregnant, awful as that sounds. Ultimately I know I want this baby though. I just feel very conflicted about the change it will bring to our lives. I think it’s the unknown that frightens me.
Sorry you are feeling similar. I am assuming it will get better once I feel baby and have a proper bump. At the moment I feel unwell and a bit fat. I hope it gets better for you too. How far along are you?

Yes same situation here although my first child is now 5.
We planned to have a second and were very much excited but then I became so nervous and anxious about the pregnancy, the labour, having a baby again and how everything would affect my 5 year old.
Well my new baby was born on Thursday morning and now I feel so silly that I worried so much about everything. I look at my new baby and I'm just so in love with him and can't believe I was worried about having him.

I'm 34 weeks and feeling guilty about the effect a new baby will have on my 16mo dd.
Everyone I know with two young dc have said that they felt the same but when the baby arrived, it all just slotted into place. I'm really hoping this is true!

Good luck xx

Thanks so much for the replies. It makes me feel better that others are/have felt similar.
I am only a few weeks, so very early days.
I feel a bit better now, still not great and still thinking about/dreading the birth. And mainly worrying about how the pregnancy and baby will impact on my DS as he's going to get so much less attention.
I'm thinking about it like this; I'm going to make such an effort to make the next nine months fantastic for him and spend as much time as I possibly can with him

I was exactly the same. After taking 2+ years to conceive my eldest, we didn't prevent the second time, thinking it would probably take a good 6+ months. I fell pregnant pretty much immediately and found out when my eldest was 15 months.

While I was relieved we didn't have issues conceiving, I can't even explain how bad the guilt is.
I cried for my eldest because I was turning her life upside down so quickly and she would have to share me so soon. I was extremely sick and struggled to care for her so cried because I was wishing away her wonderful toddler months when she was learning so much and a delight to be around (I also had similar ideas for enjoying the pregnancy time while I had her to myself). Having suffered from mc before conceiving my eldest, I even thought in the early months, it wouldn't be the end of the world if it happened this time - looking back, it was probably just me trying to protect myself in case it did happen but I felt so guilty later on for thinking that I didn't care if I miscarried.

My second is now 9 months and all is great. Exhausting but it's wonderful. Because my eldest was so young, she pretty much forgot that she had us to herself immediately after he came. Both kids adore each other and this grows more and more each day. You will constantly feel guilty about something - I still do but you will also adjust to and love being a family of 4.

I felt exactly the same way. Like my oldest was still a baby and I was displacing her.

They’re 1.5 and 3.5 now and starting to play together and build their own little relationship. And DC2 is an angel and absolutely completes our family.

Hi, just wanted to check back in and see how everyone was feeling.
I got a lot of hope from this post and re reading it has helped again, so thank you.
I'm not 14 weeks and finally feeling a bit better, though still very unsure. I hope others who related are now feeling a bit better too

I have a similar age gap with my two, baby is 2 months now and my son had adjusted so well - he likes to kiss his little sister and gets protective when someone who isn’t family holds her. He asks me to put her down sometimes but I just make sure he never gets ignored and gets lots of cuddles when we can.

I think it's really normal to feel like this. It will be lovely for your ds to have a sibling. It's normal for children not to have all the attention and as they get older they will be great company for each other.

@fairybeagle i feel like this too. Found out I am pregnant 48 hours ago, and have a 22 month old. I know it’s the ‘right’ thing to be having a baby now but I can’t say I feel the way I know I should.
I’m really happy with my life how it is and I feel scared with how much it’s going to disrupt that.
I feel like I’m less naive this time with just how hard the next 18 months or so are going to be - pregnancy, birth, and newborn is still fresh in my mind !