Wow! What a blow :(

[Starlight84]

So my first couple of posts I spoke about knowing my partner as many weeks I am pregnant as it happened so quick. Well I’m not sure if he’s had a drink, huge wobble or the absolute truth but he’s said this eve it’s too soon, he’s too old, he doesn’t want another baby. He’s suggested a termination which I know I couldn’t do. And even if I could it would be the end of us as I’d hate him. So I am now sat here in utter shock looking at what looks like to be a single mum to 3. My friend said it may be a wobble and may just need time. I feel numb xx

@Starlight84 wow I'm so sorry to hear your partner behaving this way?
Has he said previously that he wants this baby? It's not fair he just gets to decide when he fancies it and when he doesn't.
Definitely think about yourself too in this situation, how do you feel? I can imagine upset and like you said - baffled! Have a talk with him.
I'm currently 32 weeks and me and my partner planned this pregnancy (our first) the day I found out he also acted strange after the first happiness feeling.. we were walking around the shops buying things for our pregnancy reveal and he just went quiet.. wouldn't talk and said he felt scared..
Maybe it's just the shock of it all? I wouldn't recommend jumping into a termination straight away. Give it some time to think things through and best of luck x

I have lost 2 babies before my girls and I said how anyone could voluntarily go through this I do not know. I’ve always said there is only one way I could abort and that is is pregnancy was through rape. I really am anti it but that’s my opinion.

I thought we were over the original shock. Found out at 4 weeks and now I am 10. Scan is 2 weeks today. I’ve had my booking appointment. I guess I have to be thankful he’s been honest with me. Maybe he will come round in time. My youngest is 11 next month so I had really accepted the fact I’d have no more so I’ll have a huge age gap! Xx

Concentrate on the baby, the adult will have to do as he likes but it’s yourself, your children and your baby you need to concern yourself with. Been through it, pregnancy was a whirlwind and kind of sad, but that all changed once the baby was in the room.

You know in your heart what you want to do! i was totally against abortions all my life until i fell pregnant this time and i was seriously considering it, thinking it would be the best thing for us, as i have a 3yr old daughter with autism, a 16month old son and a VERY useless pointless unhelpful partner! But even though i had the support of my family telling me they would be there through the abortion and some even agreed it would be best, but i knew in my heart i couldn't do it, the baby didn't ask to be conceived, i will have to do everything i can to make it work and it is going to be so hard but ill make it work. do what's best for you and your family, only listen to yourself x good luck in your decision xx

Thank you 😊 there’s no way I can abort. My family are unaware yet. So it’s still my little secret! I know I can cope if it does all go wrong. Just not what I imagined. Xx

Unfortunately there's not much you can do except carry on with the pregnancy and assume that you will be in your own as a single parent with little to no support from this man, you can't force him to be happy or be physically involved.

I've had an unplanned pregnancy so no judging on that front but it's definitely not ideal, think about how all of this will impact on your current family. Will you be able to support them, how will it affect the dynamics of family life?

Abortion isn't something I've had to consider thankfully but if I had another unplanned pregnancy I would have to terminate as it would disastrous for us as a family.

Definitely no more babies after this one. Three sections is enough!! My girls are very excited so on this occasion I am ok. Xx

In all honestly, if you hardly know each other, parenting separately is probably more appropriate for your children.

It’s an absolute myth that it’s better for the children for the parents to be together no matter what (you may already if you don’t have contact with your daughters’ fathers) and to have a new adult AND new baby in your children’s home is a bit much for them.

Hopefully the chap gets involved, and please don’t make it difficult for him to be a dad if he does, I think he’s being quite sensible. You barely know each other.

I have thanked him for his honesty and for sharing how he feels. I just can’t commit to his request I have a termination. That’s not fair on me and my feelings. I have told him I would never force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. If that means I go it alone then so be it. I’ve brought up my 2 girls alone. Their dad is useless so I know I am capable again. Xx