Non-Baby-Shower

[JonnyPocketRocket]

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant and a few of my friends have asked when my baby shower is / have offered to arrange one for me. Tbh, they're not really my style; I've never really enjoyed the ones I've been to with baby-themed games etc, and I'd also feel a bit grabby throwing one. BUT I do love any excuse for a get-together, and I know several of my friends and family would be disappointed if I didn't do anything to mark the occasion (this baby's been a long time coming and a lot of people have wondered if it would ever materialise!). I would specify no gifts, although some of my friends have already started planning what to buy, so I know some people want to buy gifts (which I'll graciously accept, obviously ).
So, has anyone thrown or attended a sort of non-baby-shower baby shower?? I don't even know what this would look like - maybe something after the baby's born? (Or is that unrealistic and I'll be too knackered?) Or just a get-together before the birth that's not particularly baby themed - a brunch or afternoon tea or something? A (sober for me) night out? How can I frame it so it's more "let's get dressed up and do something nice one last time before I'm trapped in the house with a baby velcroed to my boob" and less "I got pregnant, come talk about that and buy me stuff"?

My friend was the same and she had a chilled afternoon tea and got cross when anyone called it a shower 😂

We did that for my friend; had afternoon tea and no one bought gifts at her request. It was lovely.

Watching this with interest as I'm in the same boat. A lovely friend suggested organising one but I can't think of anything worse than balloons and chocolate in nappies and everyone talking babies when actually none of my friends have one or really want one at the minute..

Afternoon tea is a good suggestion.. or maybe a spa trip I was thinking?

I'm planning the same. We're having an afternoon tea and cocktails/mocktails get together before baby is born. No presents or cheesey baby games allowed.

If you don't want presents, then don't call it a shower, which is the short form for 'shower with gifts' and is a specific type of party (not a catch-all term for parties during pregnancy, just like a bridal shower is not the same thing as a hen party)

If you want a celebratory party, it can be any type of party that you wouid like and think your friends will like.

OP I could have written your post. I am in the same place as you. I have just said we can do an afternoon tea or go for a dinner, not baby themed and told everyone that there's no way I want one.

Cheesey games aren't a compulsory part of a shower (only the gifts are). You can have any sort of gathering you like

I'm dreading the idea of a shower. Had a surprise one thrown for me when DS was born and because I have anxiety it was a disaster.
This time, I'd prefer having pizza and food and drinks, and playing the chocolate game.

The proper etiquette with a baby shower is that you don't host your own. Your friends have indicated they are keen to throw one on your behalf, so take them up on it. You can absolutely be specific about what you do and don't want. So let them know you don't want gifts (they will probably ignore you though!) and you don't want games. Then sit back and enjoy it for what it is: a lovely get together with friends and family who wish you well.
Do it before the baby, it's much nicer. You will be too knackered after and won't be arsed getting dressed up to head out for afternoon tea!

"So let them know you don't want gifts (they will probably ignore you though!)"

Of course they will! If they wanted to have a 'no gifts' event, they'd throw her a party, not a shower!

Oh fab, sounds like a non-shower is quite common and normal then! (And good tip Normandy re not hosting your own; I'll take up one of my friends' kind offers to organise it.) A spa day is a lovely idea too, if we can find a good deal on one - I don't want the cost to be prohibitive for anyone.
Keep the ideas coming; I'm enjoying reading what others are doing :)

Im just having afternoon tea with family 😁 xx

We had a bbq when baby was about 6 weeks old. Everyone brought a dish minimising the work we had to do and it was just lovely.

I was adamant I did not want a baby shower or for people to feel they had to buy me gifts. My friend told me she was taking me out for lunch and when we arrived, she had arranged for my oldest and closest friends to be there, along with my mum and my sister (who lives a few hours away). I was so grateful for her organising it. They put a gift basket together of tea, biscuits and bubble bath, it was so lovely. I really didn’t think I wanted anything like that but I just loved getting together with my nearest and dearest before baby comes. Just be clear about what you want and don’t want. Your friends just want to spend some time with you before your new addition arrives.

I’ve arranged a pre baby bbq, have invited friends and family of both sexes instead of having a baby shower. It’s our first child so I thought it would be nice to have one last gathering before the baby arrives 🙂

My shower is being organised so it can be a birthday party at the same time. That way I won't feel as guilty accepting any gifts and it won't be totally baby focussed

I'm not a fan of baby showers op...
We went out for a meal last pregnancy (all 20 of us) we had to book in advance, no cheesy games no awkward gifts just good food & good company it was great
I'm doing it again this time round after the gender scan at 16 weeks
Family & friends get chance to bring gifts/ have cuddles once the baby is born... and to be honest I was VERY grateful for the free time while my LO was having snuggles 😊