Advice

[Lovefreckle]

Hi, I am writing this post to see if anyone can give me some advice or hope. I am 39 ( yesterday) and 2 weeks ago I had to have a methotrexate injection for an ectopic pregnancy ( I was 5 weeks), the treatment seems to have completed its job. Just feel deflated. Especially since I had a miscarriage in November ( I was 10 weeks). I am blessed, I have a gorgeous 3 year old who I am in love with. I just wanted her to have a little sibling to grow up with. Am I too old? I am just so fed up. Help!

I'm sorry u are going through a tough time..I'm new here...I'm not sure I have any good advice...I never wanted my first child to go without a sibling so I know how u feel that way...u could maybe try again for a baby...I don't think u are too old. I just wouldn't like u to go through the heartbreak again 😔 also there might be a little baby out there in need of adoption to a lovely family. And if that isn't for you, know u are still blessed with a beautiful child... others could only wish for one.

How long did it take to get pregnant with your dc? That will give you an indicator of having a second. A family member took 8 years to conceive the first, and unfortunately, was not able to have another. Now its too late. It just did not work out, she had miscarriages after. Usually, if you struggle for the first, I think it could be a struggle to conceive again, unless you find the root of the problem. As, I have a friend who struggled a couple years to conceive her first, but she discovered the problem, had minor surgery and now has 4 kids! I guess it can also seem like random, as some couples conceive the first easily and then you read about secondary infertility. I am sorry to not be more helpful.

Thank you for the replies ( and congratulations for the lady with a little one on its way 😍 😄)
On the getting pregnant side ( for which I have been lucky) I have been ok. I just haven't been lucky with losing my little one in November and the recent ectopic. Both in different ways have brought grief. The ectopic was frightening, whereas the miscarriage was both physically and emotionally traumatic.
I want to try again but I suppose I want reassurance that it will be ok, which I know is a ridiculous thing to ask as it is out of our hands. I am just reaching out to people outside my circle, because I can't seem to let myself show my sadness and grief to those closest to me and I know I should count my blessings for having the beautiful girl I have. However, these losses have left holes in my heart, but I know I am blessed she is my sunshine bless her 😍
Thank you all for reading my ramblings!

@Lovefreckle hugs.
I can’t speak from experience of it being too late or not but I was told I might not have children - many tests and they couldn’t get to the bottom of what was wrong. Then I became pregnant (no protection for years) with my first which was an ectopic and also treated with methotrexate.
On a positive note the first time my husband and I had unprotected sex after I fell pregnant with ds1! I’m not sure about age wise but I would like to hope that might give you a little hope? It’s almost as though the ectopic gave my reproduction system a kick start because 12 years on I am expecting dc4 (although it is much much harder than it was when I was younger, and I’m exhausted this time round!)
I wish you lol the best, but please let yourself grieve, I always felt there was no support for those who had experienced ectopics, I really hope there is more help out there now to support you through this time x

@Lovefreckle I'm 38 and 5.5 months! And I have experienced exactly the same anxiety as you have about age. I have a DS who will be 3 end of July and I've been TTC #2 since Dec 2017. I conceived DS second month of trying - first month I had a weird cycle and didn't ovulate so basically fell pregnant straight away. Last year however I had 3 MCs which has been devastating. I've had a few tests to check all in order and was told that it is. Basically my consultant told me that he is sure it will happen for me and DH but given my age it may take a bit longer but as long as DH and I stayed strong and supported each other we'd get there. I'm now 6 weeks pregnant - super early days, already had a trip to the EPU due to spotting which turned out to the IB (never had that before!). I don't know if this will work out but I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and I will keep trying if it doesn't. I was about to start the Clomid route then poss IVF to eliminate some of the Chance elements but I fell pregnant the month before that was about to start. Stay strong. You're not too old. You are clearly ovulating, it will just take a little longer I'm afraid but it could happen any month. I took coenzyme q10 which supposedly can improve egg quality and took pregnacare conception Vitamins - I think there is another make of Vitimins do older women whish I was going to switch to but the name escapes me.

Don't give up, you'll get there just stay strong and make sure you have the support you need.

Thank you for your help guys it is much appreciated. I will wait for the allotted 3 months to be over then fingers crossed we will be blessed with another little one has wonderful as the one we have xx

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. There is also some research on CoQ10 for "advancing maternal age".