5 weeks, maybe with twins, and lonely

[NotExactly9]

Hello everyone :) I’m brand new to here so sorry if this post all seems a bit premature for someone who’s only 5 weeks.

So I’m 30yo, first pregnancy. Went for a scan the other day as I had quite a huge bleed and wanted to be sure of what had happened. He told us there were two sacs, one with a yolk, other one no yolk and oddly shaped. I’m to go back in two weeks as the viability can’t be detected - that’s that anyway.

Separately, I’m becoming more and more unhappy with my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other for a year and a half. He’s met all of my family, my friends (I don’t have many) however I’ve yet to meet his. He hasn’t been proactive at all in getting the, involved in his life, our relationship, nothing. As long as I’ve known him, he’s never spent time with them, including Christmas etc. Ive asked him time and time again if he’d had a fall out, if there was something wrong and he is adamant there isn’t. I haven’t met any of his friends. He’s obsessed with the gym first thing in the morning then straight into work until 7pm every night without fail. We see each other the odd Sat and Sun but we never stay at each other’s places, if we do it’s rare. Since the pregnancy he’s been good but still isn’t very proactive in seeing me, is always late when we do meet and I just feel in the way as he’s always on his phone to work or seems preoccupied.

Tonight he’s let me down again so I’m sat here writing this and doubting this whole pregnancy. Sometimes I feel like it’s all I’ve got and all I want but I can’t see me and him raising a child if things don’t change from how they are now.
Is my baby(or babies) not meant to have a relationship with his grandparents? Is it not supposed to know it has an auntie and two cousins?
Why haven’t I met his parents? I feel like I barely know him. I’m trying to stay positive but I just feel so alone when I should be happy and excited. Am I overreacting?

Obviously I’m fully aware I’m well within the ‘danger zone’ of this pregnancy and this is all on the basis I make it to a healthy 12 weeks! :)

Anyway, advice/thoughts welcome!

PS I’m 30 and he’s 34. His family live in Cumbria but he moved to Liverpool 9 years ago.

Hello I'm really sorry to hear your going though this but to me this sends out a big warning sign that his got another gf/wife does he give u any reasons to why u haven't met any one not even his friends

Sorry OP this would send out huge warning signs to me. Not having met his friends or family after 18 months of dating? That's not right. Has he ever told you why?
Agree with the previous poster I would suspect another gf/wife or he is hiding something.

Hope you're doing ok

It sounds like quite a casual relationship, have you discussed with him about dating exclusively? Not meeting his friends or family is definitely a big red flag.

I was wondering if he had another woman on the go but he could just have commitment phobia. At 34 most men are ready to settle down but there are a few who never quite grow up and are eternal bachelors.
I'm so sorry you're going through this with him, you particularly need his support now you're pregnant. You must talk to him, calmly and slowly, and explain your concerns. It's a situation that needs resolving fairly quickly.

I'm also sorry about your pregnancy difficulties. I hope you can find out what is wrong and it's sorted soon. Please come back and let us know how you are getting on.

In the meantime for you.

I had twins and it does make you extremely emotional in pregnancy, so done of your feelings are hormones. Having said that, the stuff you say is odd about not meeting family or friends. I'd wait for 12 weeks and then ask to meet his family to tell them the news. You can start talking to him about this now and see his reaction. It may be that they're awful, but it may be that he's awful and he doesn't want you to find out stuff about him.

Thanks so much for your replies everyone! Definitely no other woman. We both live in the city centre, he lives round the corner from me, I’ve met a couple of people that work for him so I guess that’s an ‘alright’ sign...
He’s never anywhere else other than the gym or work, he’s obsessed with both. I think you are right about the hormonal side of things...when we met he only ever had one girlfriend, and that was 8 years ago and since then he hasn’t bothered. I’ll give it till the 12 weeks I suppose..

Well, I would start planning a meet up now, so that it's all set by the time you're 12 weeks. Ideally, you could meet them sooner and then announce things later but up to you.

Also, not necessarily another woman. But maybe he has a past he doesn't want you to know about.