Pregnant and emetophobic

[BeckyG86]

Hi there.

I have made posts before and I have seen some old posts, but wanted to see if I could have some recent responses. I apologise in advance for the long post, I struggle to condense everything!

A bit of a background about me, I am 33, married for nearly 6 years and currently 11+3 weeks pregnant with our first baby. Our baby was planned. We both work full-time and brought our forever home last year.

For years having children was something that we discussed and wanted, but one of the reasons for the delay is that I suffer with emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting), so I feared getting nausea and vomiting through pregnancy and labour. My Husband is understanding but it was not fair to delay starting a family, especially as we are both 33 and even though that is not old we needed to consider our ages.

We found out I was pregnant initially on Easter Sunday but the test was so faint we couldn’t tell if there was a line, so we got a First Response Early Response, Clear Blue Early and the Clear Blue Digital and checker on Easter Sunday, which confirmed it. We were happy, but almost immediately the anxiety and fear took over that I could get nauseous and/or vomiting. I could not express excitement for fear that I would be ill, or I would jinx things and then get ill. I couldn’t forward plan things like going out, and dreaded returning to work (I was on annual leave and was returning to work the following week). We had a trip to Chester booked for two nights the end of that week and I didn’t want to go in case I was ill. I was pretty much in constant fear, and struggled to enjoy the fact that I was pregnant.

I informed my doctors that I was pregnant the day after the early tests (couldn’t do it any earlier due to it being a Bank Holiday) and I said I had some concerns (referring to the emetophobia now that I was pregnant) and they got me in to see a doctor that same morning. He was reassuring and gave me a prescription for some anti-sickness tablets (Cyclizine?) for me to take if I needed to. I am not the sort of person to take medication, I don’t even take paracetamol for a headache, so he knew I wouldn’t jump straight to taking them unless I needed to. That reassured me a bit. They are still in my handbag, along with sea bands, mints and Gin Gins! The doctor also gave me a contact number for self-referral for counselling, which I called and I am now going through CBT. I am not sure if it is doing anything yet but I am continuing with it. I also have the Thrive book (Cure Your Emetophobia and Thrive by Rob Kelly), which helped before I got pregnant but the anxiety has kind of put me back.

My husband understands that it is something that I can’t help, and he has said (and I know he is true) that he is there to support me. He really is golden and I couldn’t ask for better support. He understands that how I am is the anxiety and emetophobia. I struggled talking baby things and if he spoke about it I often didn’t talk about it. I wouldn’t say I have anxiety attacks, if they are they would be considered minor, but I was having them pretty much daily at one point. I returned to work and moments when I felt it I just thought I couldn’t stay at work and needed to go home (I haven’t gone home).

I don’t like to say anything as I don’t want to jinx anything but as of yet I have not been sick. I have occasionally felt nauseous but I can’t tell if that has been due to the anxiety or pregnancy because I have been anxious at the same time. If I am really tired, as in struggle to even function I have not felt 100% but that is due to a lack in energy and a need for sleep. I have been better in myself but it is always in the back of my mind and I don’t want to think that I am out of the woods in case I jinx anything. People have said you may not get anything now and I just say shhh!

People have sensed my reactions- one of my friends has said you don’t look too happy about it and I have had to explain that I am happy but anxiety has taken over. She knows I am emetophobic so I think she understands. My sister-in-law asked me last weekend how I was feeling and I said ok, but the anxiety has been getting to me and she said she envied me and if she would have given anything for her pregnancies to be like mine (she suffered through both of her pregnancies), and to just enjoy it. I know I have been lucky and I know I should enjoy it. I am happy, it is what we want, but I have that barrier. I know there are people in the world who would give anything to be in my position, and I feel bad for feeling the way I do, I can’t help it.

I feel a bit better about things in myself, I don’t think I am as bad as I was a few weeks ago, but it is still there. I don’t like to talk about how I am feeling and saying that things are ok as I fear that it could change and I am ill. I am living in a sort of ‘what if’ way, and I know I shouldn’t.

Has anyone else been through anything similar and/or understands/relates how I am feeling? Do you have any advice? When I saw the midwife just over a week ago she put anxiety and emetophobia on my notes (we don’t get paper notes now, they are on an app for us), and on the birth plan section I have written down that I suffer with emetophobia and requested that I get anti- emetics. I am hoping that they will listen to me and not think that I am being stupid. I have even considered asking for a c-section to reduce the chances of getting sick, but requesting anti-emetics. I am excited, I want to get excited and start preparing, but I don’t want the fear and anxiety to take over.

Sorry again for the long post and thank you for taking the time to read. Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.

I am a bit confused as to why you can't get excited? Are you worried just about being sick or that something else may happen?

I say this as someone who has a fear of being sick and now all but cured by morning sickness (not sure how I would cope being 'ill sick' though ). I had CBT for this a few years back as it crippled my life to the point I struggled to make breakfast. I could never been clean enough so I wouldn't get ill so I understand the anxiety from that point of view.

I'm now 14+6 and I'm used to throwing up in the morning to the point where I want to because I feel better afterwards. I now prefer getting it over and done with than feeling sick. I feel this is less stressful over all.

My doctors prescribed me medication to help. The first didn't work but the second lot did if I kept them down and it has helped massively. I'm hoping I'm at the end of mine now. I can go a couple of days without being sick whereas before it was a few times a day.

As much I know I you're terrified (and I know you will be because it is very scary) but it really does get better once managed and when you get to know your body and whether or not you'll actually be sick or not. I personally feel it in the back of my throat and I just know. I therefore drink a sip of water and wait until I'm sick before I eat anything. It makes it so much better for you when only water is coming back up.

I think in all honesty start getting excited and if you are sick you'll be ok. It's ok to cry and be upset and it is ok to feel awful and scared. If it happens, afterwards try and breathe and sit quietly for a moment. You'll feel better and realise you survived it.

I read somewhere that people with a dear of phobia are ltd likely to suffer morning sickness.

I used to be pretty afraid of vomiting, but after a horrendous tummy bug I got over it. Then i worked in a hospital and dealt with other people's vomit... If i saw vomit or anyone vomiting i used to break out into a huge sweat and would think about it for days.

Anyway, you're getting to the point where act morning sickness should be easing off, for most people.

I myself am 13 weeks and have felt only ever slightly naseous but not in a sick way. I mean most other tines when i have felt truly naseous, i felt ugh horrible. But this time it's more solved by eating something.

So maybe I've just been lucky!

Hope you will be able to relax soon, OP.

Oh OP, you poor thing. I have a fear of vomiting too & am 6+2 at the moment, terrified every day that sickness is going to begin. Pregnancy was unplanned as well... I had always thought if I did ttc I would have some time to prepare and perhaps seek treatment - the fear is one of a few things that have put me off pregnancy and birth.

I think it’s fantastic that you have been so open with your midwife & got support already. I had no idea that health professionals would take emetophobia seriously.

First trimester is a weird one where your hormones are going mad, so I don’t think it’s unusual to feel anxious anyway. You will almost certainly feel better as your pregnancy progresses and everything settles down.

I’m sorry to hear about your anxieties. I don’t know anything about emetophobia, but I can tell you that most pregnant women I know who have morning sickness seem to have one of the following

1. The type of where you feel unwell in the morning when you get up. At some point in the morning you vomit, feel immediately better and then eat and feel fine for the rest of the day.

1. The type where you feel nauseous for most or all of the day but you never vomit. This is the kind I had each time and for me this period was 10am- 10pm.

Most women find it gets a lot better or even disappears after about 12-14 weeks.

So if you have had neither of these types so far and you are already 11 weeks then you are probably one of the lucky ones who won’t ever get it.

So it’s safe for you to be happy about the pregnancy now. It’s unlikely that you will suddenly develop it at this stage.

Two caveats - I’m not talking about HG, which is different from morning sickness and you obviously don’t have that.

I’m not any kind of HCP, just a mum of many 😀

I was in your position exactly one year ago! I’ve been emetophobic almost my entire life though it improved a lot after doing Rob Kelly’s Thrive with a consultant. I wasn’t cured but got to the point where I decided I was ready to go through pregnancy and motherhood despite the risk of being sick. As it turned out, I never did throw up but there were times where I was ok with it happening if it made me feel better.

Not going to lie, it wasn’t easy since you are constantly exposed to triggers for negative thoughts every day. However the magic of realising you have a human inside you really balances that out. Try to take each day or hour as it comes. If you feel queasy, drink fennel tea, try ginger sweets or sea bands. Don’t focus on thinking “I must not be sick” but focus on the awareness of feeling better. Listen to guided meditations on Youtube or calming music to help distract your thoughts during anxious phases.

Also, Thrive recommends against safety behaviours but I gave that a pass during pregnancy. I carried rice crackers and crisps everywhere to help calm my stomach, and just knowing they were there helped me manage my anxiety much better.

I had an elective c section and wasn’t remotely queasy at all. Birth was a wonderful experience. Weirdly enough, seeing my own baby spit up or vomit does not trigger me at all. That was something I really worried about during pregnancy but was shocked to find I can deal with it without caring (must be something biological??)

Overall, pregnancy and birth were very beneficial for my phobia. I’m hugely proud that I made it through, and you will as well!! The magic bond with your baby feels so much bigger than the phobia. There will be blips along the way but you’re in for an amazing experience.

I think, personally, rather than continue the drugs your goal should be how to get over it. Have you been referred to MH services? They can help you get access to therapies. Something like this has the potential to turn very bad after the baby is born.

I have emetophobia too - bloody awful so I fully sympathise with you. Having children has actually helped a bit because you have to help them if they are unwell. My second child had reflux so there was always sick. I still hate bloody sick and I wish it would just leave me (it's truly life ruining!) but it's not as bad now as it was. My anxiety in general is much lower now though as well, maybe the two are linked.

I'm emetophobic, I can usually fight off being sick. When i was pregnant, I was never sick in a morning, I would usually get a strong craving to eat something & then within an hour I was stuck on the loo with my head in a bucket, I had the runs as well as being sick. The first time I was sick I was on my own, my husband was at work on late shift, I ended up ringing my mum & dad to get them to come & sort me out, I had been sick on the bathroom floor, they found me sat on the doorstep shaking, unable to go back in the house because I had been sick on the floor. I was lucky, in total I was only sick three times in my whole pregnancy. I still can't handle vomit, I've trained my ds who is 15 now to deal with himself if he is sick as I've been a single parent since he was 6. I've only once had to clear up after him when he was sick, I covered it in 1001 carpet refresher foam & kitchen roll so I didn't have to look at it or smell it & used biological washing powder & lenor laundry Pearls to stop the smell as I scrubbed the carpet. I can't even watch someone being sick on television. You learn to do what you have to so you can manage your phobia as best you can. Don't let it ruin your pregnancy, try & put it out of your mind as much as you can.

So sorry you are going through this, I have emet and had CBT years ago to try to prepare me for pregnancy/birth/children and I do feel it helped especially as I did desensitisation therapy too, I too was so scared of being sick when pregnant and I had cyclizine incase I needed it but I never was, I couldn't eat out anywhere as was convinced I would be sick when I sat down to eat a meal. DS was born last year by c section and I had a melt down in theatre convinced the section would make me sick but they gave me loads of anti emets and some sedation as I was flapping that much, luckily DS has only been sick once too and he is 16 months.

I'm actually 37 weeks with DS2 now and haven't been sick this time either but I'm already worrying about the section again Horrible phobia to have but remember most of us with emet are really good at stopping ourselves being sick, the last time I was I was 11 and I'm 35 now!

Hi OP I'm 33 too and also suffer from emetephobia. I worried ever since I got pregnant about being sick.. What on earth would I do if I was going to throw up at work, how would I cope etc etc but I think, probably because I hate throwing up so much, I somehow managed to think my way out of feeling sick this pregnancy. Currently 13+2 and I've only had a few instances where I've felt quite nauseous and each time that's been fixed by eating something! I'm just trying to go one step at a time and focusing on all the cool and exciting things that are happening in my belly to try not to worry about it. As others have said, with how far along you are it's likely you've totally skipped morning sickness! Good luck x

Thank you everyone. In terms of medication I have been prescribed Cyclizine in case I need it but have not taken them yet, and I am the sort of person that avoids medication, even paracetamol unless it is prescribed and I have to take it. I am currently not on any prescribed medication.

I have been very tempted to ask for an elective c-section with strong anti-emetics to help reassure me. Someone mentioned something about a sedative. I know people who have had sedatives but it never crossed my mind for a c-section and I don’t know why! That is useful to know as well. Can I ask how long they have you anti-emetics for with a c-section? Was it just for surgery or for a time afterwards?

I am trying to enjoy it more now. I really am. I feel better in myself and I have my dating scan on Friday so I am hoping I will feel better after that too. I am doing CBT and I understand it but can’t see that it has helped yet. I think a lot of it has just been me getting used to my feelings, but I am doing it and seeing how I get on.

I am sorry others have/are going through it themselves but I am also glad to see that others understand and can relate to it too. When people don’t experience or understand a phobia and how it affects someone it is hard to them to sympathise, and I get that. Thank you everyone.

I just had the anti emetics for the surgery I didn't need them after, I was scared of being sick in recovery so was reluctant to eat or drink anything but I was fine, they suggested the sedative to me as after the spinal I started panicking I was doing to be sick and not be able to move and I was going on that much in theatre they couldn't start the c section, they said it's the drop in blood pressure that makes you sick and he kept telling me if he saw it drop he would give me more anti emets but I was convinced I felt sick (I didn't it was in my head) that he offered a sedative, I'm going to ask for it this time, got my pre op next week (sections 24/6) so will discuss it with them

Hi op,

I absolutely understand and ‘get’ everything you write. I’m currently 37+6 weeks pg and have a csection booked next week. I’m late 30s and have had emetophobia most of my life. It’s been up and down but generally bad enough to impact on most areas of my life and at times has made me housebound with anxiety of getting germs.

I’m unlucky enough to have a variant of hg. This is my 3rd pg (1st one was a mc, I have a dd) with it. Every single time the bone crunching nausea has started from a week before af was even due. It’s quite honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve been a wreck of anxiety. Last pg I thought I was experiencing normal ms levels of nausea and i was just weak for not coping with it. It’s only looking back and researching hg and seeing doctors that this time I’ve actually been diagnosed it’s having it. I quite literally haven’t left the house since October apart from hospital appointments. Any activity triggers the nausea and I can’t cope with being out if I feel sick. Pg the first time utterly mentally broke me and it took me a long time to be brave enough to go through it again.

All I can say is I know cbt and reducing safety behaviours etc but tbh, when pg, it’s all I can do to survive.

I have a section booked next week and have a medication plan for minimising the chances of being sick, I’m happy to go through this with you if you want and let you know how I go on. I had a section last time and did feel exceedingly sick so I’m absolutely petrified about next week. Also re the comment about a sedative I was told I would not be allowed one until baby was delivered because it makes baby drowsy so they can’t do it. But I’ve been told I can have one as soon as baby is born if needed.

Pm if you want to chat about any specifics as I really understand the worry.

I will try to find out what sedative they used as they didn't mention concerns over the baby and he was born with an apgar score of 9 and then it was 10 at the 5 minute check

Ladies thank you so much! I haven’t gone through a birth plan at all yet but it is a little early yet. My maternity notes are on an app as they have stopped giving out paper notes for our hospital now, so there is a section about birth notes and I have asked for anti-emetics due to emetophobia. My midwife has written that I suffer with emetophobia on my notes as well, which I can see on the app, so I am making sure it is known!

I also have a sick phobia (about to try and do something about it soon, heard good things about the thrive program but need to take the plunge). When I was pregnant I was sick every day until about 21 weeks, but only in the evening. I think it would have been more but as you know, you get very good at "controlling" yourself and think it was only when I was at home that I felt safe enough to be sick. I was scared of being sick in labour (diamorphine made me feel awful but got through it) and I had a section in the end, and think l they give you anti emetics as standard. Was v scared to eat after (I refused), and I also have produced a child who seems to have the strongest gag reflex in the world and is hardly ever sick . I'm thinking of having another child, the thought of being sick at work terrifies me, I had plenty of gin gin sweets, peppermint tea, a packed lunch, snacks, always on hand.

I brought the Thrive programme book and it was very good. I started it in January just before we started TTC. I did get the book out a few weeks ago before my CBT started but I didn’t get in to it, and I thought if I am starting CBT I had better try and focus on that. I really recommend the book. It’s not cheap but worth the investment. I haven’t worked with a consultant so can’t speak about that, but the book I got from Amazon and I did a bit virtually every night.

My handbag has the anti-sickness the doctor prescribed (not taken any yet), mints, Gin Gins and Sea Bands permanently in my bag. I take my handbag everywhere so they are always with me!

I don't have emetophobia but I do have general anxiety (and tokophobia) so I can definitely sympathise with your feelings of not being excited about even a planned pregnancy. I really dislike the whole idea that a woman must embrace it and enjoy every minute - just because I'm hoping for a healthy child at the end doesn't mean I have to enjoy the process of getting there. Fortunately I do have a couple of friends who were quite open to the fact they hated being pregnant, so I know I'm not being weird in feeling this way! I'm nearly 16 weeks and not showing (yay for strong abs !) and apart from parents we aren't telling people until I feel I can't hide it any longer as I just don't want to have it as a topic of conversation.

If you've not been sick yet OP you're likely to have got away with the pregnancy sickness thing (I haven't had it either - thought I would as my DM had HG with me) although I have been sick a couple of times in the past few weeks due to an empty stomach (but I think that's just my dodgy digestive system and I get like that when I'm not pregnant too!). Good luck OP!

I suffer from emetaphobia as well and it sucks! This is my third pregnancy and luckily never been sick, knock on wood! Gave birth twice and was fine during labour and after having epidural. Everyone is different, so you don't know what will happen. But at least you are over the morning sickness stage, so if you haven't gotten sick, its very unlikely that you will get morning sickness.

If you can, I would prepare for having a plan in place for the future, like when your child gets sick. That made my phobia into over drive. I still need to see someone about it. I waited so long for the third, as my phobia was difficult to deal with having two kids close in age and if they got sick etc. Its a common phobia and many people have it. It really does suck though, as it can get out of hand if you let it.

Just to say the cyclizine you’ve been prescribed, be aware a potential side effect is it can make you exceedingly drowsy, as in can’t keep eyes open would be unsafe to drive. I say this in case you’ve never had one then take it when you’re at work or wherever and not expecting it. It does wear off after a few days of taking it though. There are other less drowsy inducing drugs possible if that would be an issue for you.

I’ve bought the thrive emet book but then got pg so haven’t yet done it but I’ve heard great things about it.

Op also be aware you can ask your mw to refer you to a mh nurse who may be able to help you during pg and support you.

The midwife mentioned the mental health nurse but said leave it for now and have a think because I am currently doing CBT and if I decide I need it I can speak to the midwife and they can refer me.

I am worried about sickness bugs in the future like when they are at school and nursery. I know that needs working on. I am ok with baby sick because it is just them regurgitating milk. I deal with my dog and cats when they are sick too (my Husband does the litter tray!)

It’s tough op. When dd was born I couldn’t even manage to burp her as I was so scared of baby sick! I did manage to get over that but I still can’t cope if dd has a tummy ache. As they get older it gets easier as they can tell you how they’re feeling but it’s never easy.

Yea, thankfully I’m okay w baby sick. My dd would spit up every feed! And also w the cats and dogs as well, doesn’t phase me at all! But for humans OMG 😲