Anxiety and depression 28 weeks

[tiredtrumpet]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and worried about PND happening again.

I already have one DS, he is two. I got really poorly after having him. I was so unwell that my husband had to take 6 weeks unpaid leave to look after me and the baby. I wasn't looking after myself.

With medication and therapy I became better over time.

However the medication was awful, I was a bit of a zombie, and so tired all the time. It didn't agree well with me, so I weaned myself off it before I should of. It was Citilopram.

I had a midwife appointment today. I was just hassled from going 3 towns over from work for it, I have a day full of meetings, a zillion things to do and nursery drop offs and pick ups, which I personally find quite upsetting, no matter how chirpy my DS is.

They were insistent there was 'something wrong' and insisted I get help. I was tearful at this suggestion which didn't help, but I've decided against medication in pregnancy, but have CBT sessions booked in. They don't start until July though.

I'm absolutely petrified I'm going to be worse than before and end up sectioned, or worse. I'm very tired, very teary and have been 'cocooning' myself away in my bedroom after DS goes to bed. I've had quite a tough pregnancy, the tiredness is something else. I was tired first time round but this time feels like nothing I've felt before. Worse than when I was doing night feeds.

Iron levels are fine, just pregnancy tiredness they tell me.

My idea is that I will line up medication to take after the baby is born. A preemptive boost to serotonin levels. I'm not breastfeeding, so I feel I could start them right away. I don't know what to ask for, but citlopram didn't work well for me.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did it work out, what was your experience? Any recommendations for anti depressants when citliopram gave side affects?

I'm sorry you had such a tough time with your first DC; I can't even imagine. I've been on sertraline throughout my pregnancy (currently 29 weeks) and will continue talking it after birth - it's totally safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding so that might be an option? I had pre-existing MH stuff when I fell pregnant and although I'm pretty stable at the moment, it's acknowledged that I'll be at a high risk of PND and a relapse in the coming months. Have you had contact with perinatal mental health? I've seen them once and I've also got a meeting scheduled with the consultant, my midwife, my HV, my private psychiatrist and my husband for a couple of weeks to come up with a plan for after the birth. They've also been very accommodating to what I want from the birth to try and minimise the impact on my MH. The obstetrician I spoke to said that even if I wasn't on meds, she'd want me on them from 36 weeks so that there's enough in my system for the period immediately after birth.

@mynameiscalypso that's amazing that you have such a good support network and you are sorting a post birth plan. That sounds like such a good idea.

My experience with the midwives and mental health time has been messy at best. My appointments are at 2 different hospitals and another health unit, the midwife suggested I see the mental health midwife, I agreed only to be told she doesn't think I need to be seen, and I'm on my third consultant because of staff changes. It's bizarre. I told my midwife I would like therapy if possible, she organised it through the local mental health support. It's with a CBT therapist but fast tracked still isn't until July.

Can I request the mental health midwife see my husband and I to discuss a post birth plan?

Also, my HV said she wouldn't be visiting me in pregnancy or after. I panicked at this because it was the HV who recognised just how ill I was and organised help last time (different town). I expressed these concerns and she is coming to see me in a couple of weeks.

That sounds really poor care and I'm sorry they're not taking it seriously. You sound like you're doing all the right things in terms of trying to put in place support and they're being really unhelpful. I'd definitely push for another referral to perinatal services - my midwife has been very proactive but I'm sure she's pretty rare. I hope you manage to get somewhere with them.