Anxiety over telling DS

[Sleepycat91]

Morning, im 10+2 with our second. Ive had scans at 7 and 9 weeks, all showing a heartbeat and no problems thus far. Im consultant lead this time due to complications with my 1st and recurrent miscarriages at 4 weeks last year. My 12 week scan is on the 22nd and weve agreed to tell our 5year old son after who doesn't know yet. Hes desperate for a brother or sister, and im just terrified if we tell him at 12 weeks something will go wrong and well miscarry and itll break his little heart, i know i cant keep it a secret from him the whole pregnancy and hes going to be over the moon but i still cant help but worry x

Hello. We are in pretty much the same situation, 9+5 weeks today and have a 4 yo DS. We are not telling him until after the 20 week scan due to the reasons you have said (we've also had miscarriages and despite healthy scans at 6&8 weeks are very cautious).

I'm having the harmony test tomorrow and even when the results are back from that next week (hopefully good news) we won't be telling DS yet.

I think you have to do what's right for your family, for us waiting to tell DS is best. He will still have lots of time to prepare for the new arrival.

Hi, I had a similar situation. Had a mmc in December and the worst bit for me was my 3 and a half year old not understand that baby was poorly and wasn’t coming just yet. He’d mention it for weeks and I’d get so upset. This time I had the harmony test and 12 week scan (13+2) and decided to not be negative and treat it as the happy experience it should be. I still panic with every twinge and pain that somethings going to go wrong but trying my best to be positive and just enjoy it xx

Maybe just wait a bit longer to tell him?

He's only 5, he won't guess.

We decided to tell our children after the 10 week scan, before the harmony test arrived. I couldn't wait any longer, but was nervous and still am, as its hard to relax until after the 20 week scan. But there is no way they would not notice. My son had already on two different occasions told me "there is a baby in your tummy." I was like "How do you know?" He responded matter of factly "Because, there just is...its right in there." and pointed at my belly. I could not believe it. Wasn't showing at all! But now I am at almost 12 weeks.

Also, when the harmony tests results came, we opened the email together as a family and all was well.

In all honesty, im suprised he hasnt noticed already. We regularly talk about another baby figuratively anyway and hes already said about my belly is big (i have a bicorn so not got a great deal of room anyway and my stomach muscles gave out weeks ago) plus family members keep dropping the ball and if one of them let slip and tell him by accident were going to be seriously annoyed because hes been so desperate for a sibling. Hes very switched on for 5 so i think if anything did happen we could explain it to him but i dont think ill relax until 20 weeks, probably wont much even then🙈