I feel like I can't be happy about my pregnancy.

[lovelikewinter]

I feel like I can't be happy about my pregnancy.

It was unplanned, my boyfriend has said from day one he doesn't want it and that we can't go ahead because we aren't in the best of situations (not living together currently, only a few months into the relationship, financial issues etc)..

The trouble is, I don't know what to do, and feel as though I don't have a choice.

I was advised by my GP to attend a midwife appointment regardless, and when I attended and said we weren't sure about continuing she refused to check me over. So, I have no idea how the baby is doing.

It just feels like no one cares.

Do you want to have the baby? How do you feel about it?

Do you want to keep the baby, OP? It sounds as though your boyfriend will be long gone if you do, though may well not be a keeper anyway.

Would you struggle financially? Would you manage on your own? Do you have family or friends nearby who can help?

Sorry, I can see you said above there were financial issues - I just wondered whether they were his or yours.

I don't know if I want it, and I feel like I'm not allowed to want it either because no one else does :(

Financially would be a struggle I imagine, there's issues on both sides. Not to say they won't improve, but. Not straight away. I live with my mum who is narcissistic and not overly supportive. My friends don't care

How many weeks are you, OP?

I'm not sure, 8 weeks maybe

Look, and I mean this kindly, generally other people (friends etc) don’t really care about pregnancies unless they are mothers themselves. It feels like you want someone else to make the decision about this pregnancy for you. And that you want to be mothered yourself (perfectly reasonable request). Maybe sit down and think about what YOU want to do. Can you afford a child/childcare? What about your education? And career? Assume you will be a single mum and take it from there.
You are allowed to want a baby, but you have to make the decisions. No one else is going to make them for you here.

How old are u? Do u plan on having children? If u do then id go through with having this baby.
I had my first at 18 i stayed with my mum at the time, so know what its like but i wanted my baby so was a bit different for me.
People may not want it now but when its here their views will change, only have a abortion if its what u really want to do but if thats what your going to do then u have to act fast.

PotolBabu, I don't want someone to make the decision for me and I don't expect to be mothered. I posted here because I have nowhere else to post and no one else to talk to about how I am feeling. And I am not expecting anyone to make a decision for me here, so please refrain from saying anything along these lines again as its completely unhelpful.

Angel, I am 25..I never imagined having children and never saw myself being a mother but pregnancy has a way of turning things and thoughts all upside down, I suppose thats why I feel a bit lost. I kind of feel like no matter what I do there will be regrets..

But what do you want? Are you looking to vent? Are you looking for help with fairly life changing decisions? You have my full sympathies but I am a stranger on the internet thousands of miles away, we can’t make you happy about your pregnancy. I can say ‘congratulations!’ but that’s it.
Having had two kids I am well aware that even wanted pregnancies can be very confusing, emotionally. But we can’t give you ‘permission’ to feel happy, which is what it feels like you are asking, (maybe I am wrong), only you can give yourself that, and allow yourself to celebrate.

Just bear in mind that a baby makes such an enormous difference to your life, and it's for evermore, not jusg for Christmas. Suddenly it's not all about you any more, it's about someone else. Short term there's sleepless nights, for baby and you. Problems with childcare if you want to go back to work, or babysitting if you want to go out for the evening. Financially, there's never enough money. Not sure how old you are, but is this the right time, especially as it looks like you'll be on your own with this.

I am in the exact same position as you, although I am a lot older. I have one week left to decide whether or not to abort. My boyfriend could step up, financially - but has chosen to make this all about him. I’m completely alone and can’t even tell my family. My work is encouraging me to keep the baby and I’m being treated very well ....but I feel so alone and disregarded. It’s awful.

I haven’t been checked over or referred to an obstetrician either. I have a physician’s appointment tomorrow to discuss possible termination.

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time with little support.
You are allowed to want this pregnancy to continue. You are allowed to not want it to.
Just try and think what you want for yourself.
Of course there's no sugar coating and it may very well be difficult if you choose to have the baby, but it can be done.
Only you can decide what you want to do with your own body. Perhaps it might be worth trying to get in contact with your GP again to see what support is available to women facing this decision?

You're faced with a major life changing decision. Maybe your friends and family just don't know how to help you. Wych makes them a bit useless but in the end the decision is yours alone.

Maybe write a list of pros and cons. Do you see yourself moving out of mum's any time soon? Can you afford childcare? Imagine yourself with a baby.

It must be a difficult time. It kinda seems to me though that you do want it a bit, but the thine isn't right. Sometimes can't plan everything.

Take your boyfriend out of the equation, I doubt your relationship will last. I say this purely because if you keep the baby, he will resent you but if you abort I think you will resent him. Go forward as though you will be a single Mother.

Can you cope with this financially and emotionally? Do you have strong family support? Can you imagine potentially having him in your life for the next couple of decades?

Weigh up the pros and cons, I also implore you to contact Marie Stopes or BPAS as they offer free non biased counselling. Nobody can make this decision for you but if you want a termination, it’s best to get that ball rolling sooner rather than later.