More scared second time around thread.

[Martha200]

Well, I am 14 weeks, so plenty of time left!, but I keep having daft moments where I work myself up over the birth.

I am having a planned section, my last was an emergency section and I worry myself silly that it will be worse than last time (which could have been worse) but I was left with a "wound" from the cut, so took a lot longer to heal and also my baby was a jot away from needing a blood transfusion because the staff were hopeless at listening to me over feeding concerns, it was a member of staff on another ward who saw him and demanded he move to the transitional care ward.

Now this will be a different hospital, but I hear rumours about this hospital, as in I know far too many mothers who went to different county hospitals for their second children.

Rationally I know it can't be that bad, but I keep scaring myself with the what ifs.. what if this time I clot or they nick another organ in the process, what if they ignore me over feeding issues, what if this and that. Problem is I work myself up so much I end up in tears, and don't want to tell my husband any more that I'm still concerned because I don't want to worry him about me.

Why am I so more scared this time around?
I know I am being irrational a lot, but I am terrified of the unknown.. is anyone else feeling a bit like this?

Yes but in a completely different way. You sound like you had a terrible time first time round, you poor thing. Hopefully it can't possibly be as bad this time. I had an elective c-section first time as DD was breech and evrything went very smoothly and was pretty easy (although recovery period not great, but definitely copable with). So this time round I am more scared because I am going to try for a natural birth and yes, it is that fear of the great unknown!

I am sure others will have much wiser words of widsom on how to prepare yourself for this birth but my experience of a planned section was VERY positive, if that helps.

hi martha200

I have not had a personal experience of cs so i cant really help with that, I do have my own fears due to a previous experience and how you can be so scared of history repeating itself, one of the ways i found to help me over these fears was to join the due in the new year antenatal threads, talking with others has helped to feel supportered and reasured.

I had an assisted delivery the first time round and an elective c-section the second time.

I was scared the second time (mainly about feeding issues rather than the birth itself), so I hired a doula to help me. I could ring her whenever I wanted to talk before the birth and she was there with us on the day of the c-section. She really helped us to keep calm and made sure that all our needs were met by the people being paid to look after us.

She was a trainee doula (and as such, much cheaper -I think we only paid £125 ish at the most by the end and it was definitely worth it). She was great. She even helped me to write a birth plan (which helped me to feel I was more in control) and made sure it was seen by everyone relevant.

If you think you need extra support, that might be the way to go. check out www.doula.org.uk. Hope that helps.