Social services

[lucieex1]

Hey would like some sort of advice or anyone that has been in a similar situation or knows of someone who has been. So me and my ex partner got into a heated argument and we both got physical for example pushing each other and being in each others face shouting etc I then called the police since I'm pregnant and they took a statement from me now social services are involved and said that somebody will contact me to carry it an Assessment since he knows where I live. I'm currently not with my unborns baby's father and don't plan on getting back with him so I don't see the point to why social services are involved I'm so worried and stressed out because I've had horror stories of SS can anyone please give me some sort of advice what the assessment would be on kind regards lucie x

I’m no expert and I’ve not been in this position but maybe it’s just a welfare check and to see what the current situation is. I think if there is any issues where children are concerned they have to call them. My children’s dad and his wife had an argument while our children were there and ss came to see them in school :( just talk to them. I’m sure it will all be fine xx

I work for the police and it's all procedure. All reported domestics have to be investigated by police and any reported have to be shared with the relevant resources. It won't be anything to worry about it will be to give you support more than anything especially with you being pregnant. They will want to make sure you're safeguarding yourself whilst pregnant which then in turn will safeguard your baby. Good luck x

I would imagine SS will want to make sure that your baby will be safe. What are your current living arrangements? Was this a once off violent incident between you or is it a repetitive thing ?

@Wildorchidz we don't live together and I left him for good. But he knows where I live and I think SS are concerned if he will show up. He hasn't showed up at all since I called police and I feel safe as I'm no longer with him and another similar incident has happened between us before.

Also just to add to my above comment, I reported something which happened to me over 20yrs ago when I was a child and because I still had contact with the person (I don't since I reported to police) social services visited to make sure I was safeguarding my children against this person. I just signed a statement to say my children will not ever come into contact with the person and that was that. I haven't heard from them again and it's still an ongoing police investigation with it being historic. So don't listen to the horror stories, they'll only be more involved if it's a regular occurrence and you or your baby are at risk of harm. If it's baby's dad they will explain what is going to happen but it's all to keep you both safe 😊

@JD154 Thank you so much I was just worried because I've been told horror stories about SS and I honestly would do anything to safeguard myself and my unborn baby xx

@JD154 I will definitely not listen to people's horror stories😭 this is my first unborn child and I was really concerned as I don't know what the assessment would be on etc.. but thank you so much you have made me have a positive mindset on this whole situation and it's good to hear you have never heard from them ever since and have no contact with that person xx

Just be open and honest with SS

Although you say you are done with him for good many many women say this and do not stick to it. SS need to see for theirselves they cant just take your word for it

They will visit you and discuss what support you may need to make sure you don't decide to get back together with this man. If you are acting protectively (which it sounds like you are) then they are unlikely to be concerned. They will give advice about what to do if he turns up at your house, and probably advise about contacting women's aid for support. They will probably speak to your midwife and future HV but that is standard information sharing. Try not to worry, be as honest as you can with them.

There are a lot of women who will go back to an ex where there's been violence.
SS just want to make sure you and baby are safe :)

I had to have social services assessments for my son three times due to my mental health. Each time it was fine. Good luck with it.

They'll just want to make sure you and baby are safe. A lot of women go back to violent ex's so it's just about them making sure you're safeguarding etc. Just be open and honest

I had social services do a pre birth assessment on me (actually as DS was prem it ended up being post birth but it was with the pre birth team)
There had been a mix up with hospital admin and the hospital were worried that I wasn't accessing medical care.
In real life I was still seeing the midwife team and blissfully unaware that I'd been assessed as high risk and that the hospital was franticly sending me appointment reminders to an incorrect address.
I got a phone call from the social worker and had a brief confused conversation. Then I faxed a bunch of my medical notes to her. Then we arranged to meet up at the hospital clinic. (This was handy because before I spoke to her I had no idea I was meant to be at this clinic or where it was located.)
I turned up at the clinic and had to cancel the meeting because I was rushed into theatre for an EMC.
I then had a very disturbed night on morphine, freaking out about how to apologise for putting off the meeting.
At one point I managed to reassure myself that I probably had an excuse as long as the spinal block was in place but that I should "go and sort things out" as soon as I could move my legs.
So glad I didn't show up at the social work office, in my hospital gown at stupid o clock in the morning, off my tits on painkillers to explain why I should keep my child. Not a good look.
I met the social worker the following Monday and explained the situation as best I could. She did seem to go over the same ground a number of times (to check my story was consistent) but seemed otherwise friendly and reasonable.
At one point she commented that I was seemed very organised and well turned out considering I'd just had a C-Section. I managed not to say "It's a meeting to see if I'm allowed to keep my baby. I was hardly going to turn up on my pajamas!"

Sorry. Should add that once she was reassured that I genuinely hadn't known about the appointments, she closed the case and it was all fine.
It was a lot of worry over nothing, in the end.

As a social worker myself, its just a routine process. Not only to ensure you are safeguarded (and they will be looking at your safety as well as your baby’s). They will do an assessment of the situation and make recommendations which could consist of considerations about what your plans are in regards to contact with the father, plans for the childs contact with the father, if he shows not at risk to the child its potentially a discussion about visitation rights and how these can be facilitated in a safe manner (i.e. supervised contacts) and whether you need to be signposted to any support groups as a now single parent to be.

Domestic violence is always a concern for social workers, not just because of the physical action but theres a lot of research about how a child witnessing DV, impacts their physical and mental health so there priority is that the child does not also become a witness to it let alone experiences it themselves.

Sometimes these conversations will just happen over the phone, sometimes a visit may be set up. The main thing for you is to just treat it as a conversation and be as open and honest as you can so they ensure there plan is as robust as possible and that they signpost you to the right support networks.