Miscarriage due date while pregnant again

[RanchoRelaxo]

So I am due to have a baby girl next month, I can't wait for her to get here, I love her so much already, but the month before we found out that I was pregnant with her I had a miscarriage at about 6 weeks.
That was our first pregnancy, we got carried away with the excitement after finding out and obviously it was devastating when I lost it,
It would have been my due date for that first pregnancy around now, and I can't stop crying today, I know this isn't helped by hormones but I just feel so sad, but then I feel super guilty because if I hadn't had miscarried I would never have my current baby girl, who I obviously love to pieces,
I don't really know what I'm trying to get from posting this, I feel stupid saying it all to anyone in real life, don't really know why I'm getting so worked up, as far as miscarriages go it was straightforward and early
Sorry this has turned into a bit of an essay

You’re not being stupid, it’s natural. What helps me (and this definitely doesn’t work for a lot of people so feel free to ignore) is to think of those early losses as ‘meant to be’. To me they were chromosomally incompetant; and not babies but embryos / cells and in many cases I probably wouldn’t even have noticed their loss if I hadn’t known I was pregnant.

Whereas the baby inside you now is an actual baby; she will grow into a real person.

It doesn't matter how straightforward or early a miscarriage is, it is still a loss and it's only natural to feel the way you do.

I've really struggled in my current pregnancy as I got pregnant straight after a miscarriage. My due date for my miscarriage is a couple of months away but I think about it every single day and I dread the day getting closer. On the day I plan on a lighting a candle and taking time to reflect and cry, I will write a note to the baby and then burn it so I can get my feelings out and then try and move forward. Other people will think I'm silly but I don't care. You do what you got to do to get through it.

oh you are certainly not stupid and it is understandable, totally mixed emotions.

I do understand how you feel. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant but keep thinking how I should be 35 weeks pregnant. It is that horrible weird mix of emotions of mourning the baby your lost and all the hopes you had for that one but then being excited for this baby - it is all conflicted and makes me feel guilty.

It's not stupid. When the due date for my MMC came, i lit a candle, had a good cry and sang a lulllaby for my baby. If anyone else had come in they'd have thought i was a raving loon, but it wasn't for them, it was for me.

The thing about miscarriages is that anyone who hasn't been through one doesn't really understand how devastating they are. Even my husband who was dreadfully upset when it happened didn't remember a due date or feel the same months later, so there was really no one else to talk to about it. sometimes posting on the internet is the best way to connect with other people who really do understand.

Just be gentle with yourself now, and remember that grieving is a necessary part of the natural process and not something to be stopped when you need it.

I remember - perhaps not to the day, but certainly within a few days - the due dates of all my six miscarriages, the first of which was fifteen years ago, and although they have been interspersed with the births of three children.

Don't try to frame this in logic - you have experienced both loss and joy (and I know well how tempered that joy is when pregnant after mc) - you feel whatever you feel.

Thank you everyone for your comments, and I'm sorry to hear what you've all been through. I let myself actually feel what I wanted to without guilt for the day and feel a lot better for it

You’re not stupid at all. You’re kind and caring and will make a wonderful Mummy to your baby girl.