Can't stop worrying! Advice please x

[firsttimemumma5]

I'm about 7 weeks along in my first pregnancy, and I am struggling to stop worrying about every symptom. I keep having mild cramps and I've had a very small amount of spotting (very pale pink/brown discharge). I'm trying to rationalise it as a normal part of pregnancy, but I can't help but worry about miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy etc.
I really want to just be excited, but every time I stop worrying, I then worry that optimism is going to jinx the situation (which sounds silly, but it is what it is). I'm don't want to ruin this time for myself and my partner with constant concern and upset.
How do people cope with the worry during these early stages? Just looking for tips to overcome worry and enjoy the excitement of this stage?

I had cramping/backache and a small amount of brown mucous/discharge when I was around six/seven weeks. We paid for an early scan at 7 weeks where we saw a heartbeat and was reassuring to know it wasn't an ectopic. The reason we had the scan was because we had a missed miscarriage last year and actually had no symptoms at all and there wasn't a heartbeat on scan so I think the pain/discharge (I didn't worry because it was brown not red) might have been the uterus growing? Don't know for sure though and every pregnancy is different even the two I have had! That said I am 10 weeks now and it hasn't really stopped me worrying! Counting down the days till the 12 week scan! 🙈

Have you tried meditation, such as the mindfulness app? I can't say from personal experience but i know for other people it has helped.

I have always suffered from anxiety and excessive worry but found it only affected me mildly now I'm pregnant. I got myself an early private scan at 9 weeks which reassured me a lot.

The majority of pregnancies are fine. The majority will have no or minor complications. Just remember, what you read in mumsnet probably is not representative.

People come here perhaps due to past negative experiences. Or like you and me, due to excessive worry.

You can read through posts here and they can make you feel more worried because suddenly mc seems like a normality. But it isn't. Yes during early pregnancy there is more "risk" but the risk of mc is still smaller than the likelihood that everything will be fine.

I find when my brain turns to negative thinking (i have more social anxiety) I have to train myself to think the opposite. I have to tell myself these feelings are exaggerated, they are unreasonable. That I don't know that for sure, that I'm projecting my own negative thinking into how i think others think of me. It's very tiring being anxious all the time.

You need to be, i think, open about it. Say, I'm feeling anxious a lot. Talk to your mw.

I would recommend an early scan if you can afford it cos 12 weeks is just too long to wait. It cost me £90 so yeah, not cheap but not totally expensive either and worth it. I saw quite a developed baby at my 9 weeks. (They dated me at 10).

It might give you peace of mind, but be sure not to become addicted to them. I gotta say i am so excited to see my baby again next week at my 12 week scan. Having to wait until 20 weeks to see it again seems too long!

So in summary. Concentrate on the positives. Write them down if you have to. Allow yourself space to worry a bit, i don't believe trying to banish negative thoughts forcefully helps. But introducing more positive things. Like what you are looking forward to in hope that they will replace your negativity in a more balanced fashion.

I’m 7 weeks and have mild cramps, back ache and pink spotting all the time now, it fades and then comes back. I’m like you, I’m so negative but I fear thinking the worse will jinx it and thinking positive will also jinx it. I can’t win. I have a private scan booked for this coming Sunday when I’ll be roughly 8 weeks. I’m so nervous about it 😩

Keep us updated, it’s nice to know we aren’t alone

Do you think it’s hormonal anxiety or are you generally anxious?
Unfortunately a baby gives you a lot more potential for worrying than an unborn child.
If you can, maybe get some counselling. You still have time to concentrate on yourself; later, you won’t.
I was pregnant with a baby with a 5% chance of surviving birth (he’s 100% fine now). I didn’t worry because I had to accept that things were out of my control and that I couldn’t change the outcome.
Worrying means that the thing hasn’t happened, which means you’re fine — is that a way of thinking that might help?

This has been really reassuring to read - thank you all so much (and congratulations to you all as well!!)

I already have been diagnosed with anxiety prior to my pregnancy, and I think it's now just latching on to my pregnancy simply because my mind just tends to always find things to panic about (I guess pregnancy is a big one!). I think generally having a more positive outlook - the what will be will be attitude - is really what I need to do. I guess some days will be easier than others to think like that?

I think @fonxey you're right - I do practice mindfulness but have just been struggling to focus with all that's going on at the moment. Writing a list of the positives is definitely something I'll give a go, that's a lovely idea.

And @beth3735, I feel so reassured someone else is pretty much in the exact same boat as me! The cramping is driving me mad with nerves, will certainly look into an early scan just for some reassurance at this stage. For me, I'm the first of my friends to be going through pregnancy, and not having anyone to really talk to it about/ask what's normal/unusual is making me more anxious. It's so nice to realise that others are experiencing the same thing!

I've booked a GP appointment to just have a chat about this anxiety, as it is becoming a bit of a struggle at the moment (which sounds so silly, as there's no real reason to feel like this, but clearly baby hormones are amplifying my normal feelings!).

Most importantly I guess, we're all doing great, and whatever happens, life will go on and the sky will still be blue!! Will certainly keep updating (and would love to hear news from you guys too!)

Thanks again xx

Anxiety sucks, no matter what form! @firsttimemumma5 i hope you will feel better soon. It is hard to focus when you are at peak anxiety, but hopefully you will find a way through it.

@fonxey Such good advice and exactly what I needed to read too, thank you. I need to not click on threads that will likely cause me more anxiety.

@TwistofFate glad my words helped. I'm not a professional but i have personal experience, i know what helps me.

Mn is great for support and advice, but it's hard when you are feeling very anxious to read about negative experiences cos then you project that to yourself.

I hope others though don't read into what i said though as negative. It's essential people do and can talk about their experiences, and shouldn't ever stop. But if it makes an individual feel anxious, that individual can step away until they feel better.

I was exactly the same, especially before I'd had my 12 week scan. I had such bad period type pain for weeks that I was convinced that nothing would show up during the scan and that I had made the whole thing up. Once you feel the baby move you might begin to relax a bit!