Husband is ignoring my pregnancy

[Mrs2019]

Hi, I’m just after some advice really, I’m so upset and don’t know what to do. My husband and I have two children, 16 and 7. I found out 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant again. We hadn’t planned on having anymore children so it’s come as a shock but I was excited. I am around 7 weeks. When I told my husband he was visibly upset and told me we couldn’t have another baby, we can’t afford it and hasn’t brought the matter up since. I think he’s expecting me to have an abortion without actually saying it. I know this all comes across as callous on his part but he is normally such a loving, caring husband and fantastic dad so I’m in shock at how he is dealing with this. He is under a lot of pressure as the only breadwinner due to an illness I had to leave my job so we do struggle financially but we get by. I just don’t know what to do as he won’t speak about it and I don’t know how to go forward.

You need to sit down and discuss it with him, him ignoring it is not going to make it go away.

I do have to say, I can totally see why he would be upset about it. Of course a baby is always a blessing, but as he is the only worker and you already have 2 teenagers, I can understand the financial pressure on him, not to mention he was probably looking forward to getting a bit of his own life back as his children grow into adults.

Ask him when he thinks he will be ready to talk, and when you do talk really try to listen to his point of view. It might be that having this baby isnt the right route for you all as a family. You do need to take into consideration his perspective on things, its a joint decision - unless you decide you want the baby so much that you are prepared to leave and go it alone.

Good luck xx

I can understand that he's shocked and upset but refusing to talk about it is extremely unhelpful and very unfair to you

The thing is you’ve not brought it up since either? So maybe he doesn’t know what to say... or how you feel.
You both need to sit down and have an adult conversation about it all, then decide together if you are ready to start a family again.

You need to bring it up and sit down with him