Just wanted to reach out for a bit of advice!
I am 36 weeks pregnant today (yay) however having many MANY internal battles.
My partner and I have been fighting on and off during this relationship. Currently it's been mostly good but I find myself instantly becoming depressed and anxious due to one particular event in our relationship.
At one point in our relationship, we were fighting so much that my partner went to a female coworkers apartment after work for about 30-40 mins he estimates before coming home because he said he didn't want to face me after all the fighting. He said he never did anything and he vented to her partially before realising this was wrong and needed to come home to talk to me about it not her.
Ever since this incident, it's been on my mind whether he has been unfaithful to me not only during this incident but any time in the past too. There have been no other incidences like this that would possibly be a cause for concern so I should technically trust him but for some reason it's playing on my mind constantly and affects my mood almost instantly where one second I am as high as a kite then feel like my whole world is broken.
This is where the internal battle comes in.
On one hand my gut tells me he has done something unfaithful. On the other hand, there is no evidence he has been unfaithful. I have brought this up with him several times and he denies it profusely. I should just leave it to rest shouldn't I? But my stupid brain won't accept that as an answer especially as he can be very defensive and hostile about it. I feel like I will constantly think he is lying until he actually admits to cheating even if he hasn't! What is wrong with me?! Ahhhh!
I am always trying to look out for myself as I have been in bad relationships in the past but sometimes I jeopardise something good due to fear alone.
I don't know if it's my hormones in my third trimester or whether I am just simply going bat-shit crazy but it is tearing me apart and is also really not fair on my partner too to go through these dramatic ups and downs.
I just wanted some other mums to maybe contribute some rational advice because my brain clearly is not all there at the moment and the last thing I want to do is let my stupid brain ruin something that is meant to be so magical.