Handhold please? TFMR 11 weeks ago and now roughly 8 weeks pregnant again - viability scan tomorrow and terrified.

[PastaSauceHoarder]

Hello everyone, just feeling a bit shaky and after a handhold really.

11 weeks ago DH and I had to make the decision to terminate a much wanted 12 week pregnancy that very likely wouldn't survive. We both agreed to start trying again and to our shock we fell pregnant almost instantly - I hadn't had a period since the induced miscarriage and I didn't think I'd even ovulated properly. But we had positive pregnancy tests after previous negative ones that got darker and darker and I've even had a blood test to confirm, so its definitely the real deal again.

Its been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions over the past few weeks. I'm absolutely terrified its all going to go wrong but I'm also so grateful for this new chance. Tomorrow we have a viability scan up at the hospital and I can't stop worrying that its going to end badly - that something is wrong with the baby and I'm not going to meet a new child in Dec/Jan.

I think my excitement for pregnancy is just ruined forever due to the previous loss we endured. I'm just really scared now.

👭(that's the closest thing I can find to a handhold) xx

Sending lots of love.
So sorry for your loss x
Have you talked to your bereavement/ standard midwife? They can offer lots of reassurance and support.

@PastaSauceHoarder so sorry that you’ve been through a tfmr. By now you’ve probably had your viability scan so I’m a little late for the handhold but really hope it went ok? How many weeks are you?

I had a tfmr at 15 weeks pregnant last October for T13 and fell pregnant on my 2nd cycle this January so I sympathise with you as I know what an anxious time it is after what you’ve been through!

I’ve had the same fears as you with worrying that there will be something wrong with the baby, and even at 23 weeks those fears have not gone away completely; it has also taken me time to connect with this pregnancy when I’m still grieving the little girl that we lost, but in the last few weeks I’ve been feeling kicks and it has been the most amazing feeling - I’m starting to feel some excitement now.

You’ll get there and after each scan, you’ll hopefully start to feel more positive about your pregnancy. Maybe speak to your bereavement midwife to see if she can offer any support or to see if there is a local support group at the hospital.

And congratulations!

How did it go OP?

Hope all went ok OP x

Hello everyone, thank you so much for the replies. To my relief the scan showed that the little baby is currently fine - 7+2 weeks and we got to hear a lovely steady heartbeat. It looked like a little fish!

As well as that we actually got back the post mortem results from our TFMR, so its been a very emotion-filled day. Our last baby had Turners Syndrome and so the chances of that happening again are basically non-existent. We're getting another scan at 10 weeks and then obviously again at 12. Today I'm feeling good.

Fantastic news! That must be a big relief for you!

Brilliant news @PastaSauceHoarder I'm really pleased for you :)

That's really good @PastaSauceHoarder -do you have any other tests or just the usual 12 and 20 week scan? Got my dating scan next week then think my 11 week CVS will be 2 week after I'm absolutely bricking it especially coz with my DD first trimester was easy with little boy which ended in TFMR at 12 weeks it was awful and this time I'm 8 weeks today I think and it's shaping up to be just as bad feeling faint and sick all the time! I'm really worried that means this baby is going to be too poorly to keep too!! 😢

Thank you @VenusStarr, how are things going with you?

Thanks @MummyBearBoo, I know its easier said than done but please don't worry too much about symptoms and feeling rubbish! With my DD and my lost pregnancy I got morning sickness at 7 weeks and vomited every single day up until about 12 weeks. They were both female pregnancies and absolutely identical in other symptoms and timings.
This pregnancy however just feels different, for example I got terrible nausea from 5 weeks but haven't been sick at all and I'm 8 weeks tomorrow. I'm wondering if I'm possibly reacting differently because I'm maybe carrying a boy this time, if my way of thinking makes any sense?

Good luck with your dating scan next week, which day is it? I've had a viability scan and I get to go back and have a 10 scan soon. They're not doing any extra tests for me as the last baby had Turners which is apparently so rare that its basically just not going to happen again. Just terrible luck last time.

Yes one of my friends has Turners but she says she is a total rarity as she lives a relatively normal life tho she can't have children and doesn't have periods coz her reproductive organs were underdeveloped she says is one of the lucky ones coz the effects are so varied in most cases the effects are pretty devastating-I think it's like 1 in every 2.000 pregnancies and only affects girls. It's a bit like my condition as it varies so much but mine gets worse by generation and coz I started symptoms in my teens if I had an affected baby and it survived full term, then labour, then their intercostal muscles allowed them to breathe they would be severely physically and mentally disabled! I think being a mum is sometimes making the hard decisions to do the best thing for your baby - I couldn't bring a baby in the world to suffer I would love them as much but I think it would be selfish to do that!!
My scan is Tuesday - my last awful trimester was a boy I think this is a boy too so hopefully that's why they're similar but fingers crossed this one will be ok! I have another scan at 11 weeks when the do the CVS! How did they diagnose Turners could they see I know it's a missing X chromosome but did they find out on the 12 weeks scan? Xxx

I'm OK thanks @PastaSauceHoarder.af arrived bang on time. Taking this month off ttc as I have a hsg booked on Thursday. It's nice not monitoring every twinge and knowing what cd I'm on :)

So pleased everything is OK for you x