Ds not happy about pregnancy

[RavenclAwen]

Feeling a bit crap as ds(7) said he doesnt like me being pregnant. I asked him what it is about me being pregnant he doesnt like.. he couldnt say. Asked what he did like and he said my funny clothes (maternity trousers) and big belly. I have been more tired and not able to play rough etc like we used to and now I feel shit as I have probably been less patient with him than usual He has gone off to his dads for wekeend & dp not home till tomorrow, so ds's special teddy will be sleeping in my bed tonight. Am trying ot keep ds involved. He finished infants as well and is upset about it. He said he wants to be my baby still, explained he always will be. Also said that before he was born i wasnt a mummy and he made me a mummy and how special it is being the first born. He doesnt seem really upset but I think he has had a fair few changes. Whenever he has a birthday he doesnt like being another year older and if i say like 'wow, your such a big boy' he says he isnt and wants to be a little boy still.

Well, at least he's consistent: not liking you being pregnant certainly goes with not wanting to grow up himself.

Sounds like your dealing with it really well, saying all the right things. Don't blame yourself for his feelings - but allow him to feel them.

My ds aged 7 also likes to be my baby sometimes; I think most children like to be nostalgic for those discarded nursery toys, books etc. Even my big girl (and I mean as big as me) still likes to be cuddled.

DD will be 6 when LO is born & she's suddenly started wanting to watch Cbeebies again & when you say how big she is & what a big help she'll be with the new baby, she says I'm only 5 I'm still little. She's excited about the baby coming & one day she'll be wanting to do everything to help the next she'll be a little madam. She smacked my bump the other day because she got grounded then was crying so hard & apologising to the baby,cuddling my bump. It must be so hard for them, I take it he's an only so far & been the centre of your world. I sometimes have to tell DD the world does not actually revolve around her cos she'd so used to it being like that. I apologise if I'm grumpy & try never to say it's because of the baby because then she may resent baby for taking nice Mummy from her. Altho' trying to explain hormones to a 5 year old can be hard . Just keep reassuring him, hopefully things will get better. Feel for you too.

He is the centre of my world, and yes he is going ot have to share that spot with baby. Also for last 2 weeks dp has been in Japan so it has just been the two of us.

To be fair to him he has always said at birthdays (even before pregnancy) that he doesnt want to be older. He is upset about not being at infants as they dont have the toys at junior school.

I have said to him that when baby arrives I stil want to make sure we get 1-1 time too.

Also I am not with ds's dad so he I am wondering how he will feel when he goes to see his dad and I am at home with his borhter or sister. Not sure how to help him best.

We have got the whole of the summer holidays together so I will make the most of doing things together and listening to him.

Jbck, ds never stopped watching cbeebies tbh i dont mind him still liking younger things as kids grow up so fast anyway and i expect in Juniors it happens quite quickly.

boo - hate it when they stop watching cbeebies and go on to blardy power rangers and spongebob

when the baby comes i bet he will be overjoyed, my ds hated me being pregnant and was very clingy and insecure. when dd was born he was sooo affectionate and loving towards her. dont get me wrong - insecurities came out in other ways - he rejected my mum and dh and only wanted me for everything but he NEVER took it out on the baby.

mainly though, kids adjust brilliantly to changes and im sure your ds will be the same. you sound like
youre doing all the right things. i think it's a very positive thing to have siblings, but its totally normal that youre feeling guilty about sharing your affections. 8 months into having dd, ds probably cant even remember life without her!

ive had a few glasses of wine - hope this makes sense!

Awen - when ds goes to his Dad will he get one-to-one attention? If so, that's an advantage to ds over most 7 yo who have baby sibling to compete with! Even if he has to share his Dad, it will be time out for him from exhausting baby and he'll probably appreciate it, and come back full of enthusiasm for darling bro or sis again.