Midwives

[BeckyG86]

Hello.

Sorry, I feel like I am questioning a lot on here, and sometimes silly things!

We have our first midwife appointment on Wednesday (10 weeks based on LMP). This is at our GP surgery. My Mother-in-Law is a Health Visitor in a nearby council borough to where we live but used to be a paediatric nurse, so over time she has got to know a lot of medical professionals who have moved across different council areas.

My Mother-in-Law has mentioned about a colleague and friend of hers who is now a lead midwife at the hospital in our council borough, which would more than likely be the one we will go to to have the baby. She mentioned something to my Husband yesterday that the midwife had mentioned something about the hospital being fully booked up until September (we are due December so I am not worried about them being fully booked up until September) and asked (with permission) about this (I wasn’t there so didn’t get the full story) and explained that we were having our first child, got our first midwife appointment at the doctors on Wednesday and where we lived, which is within her area and the area for the hospital. The midwife sent her congratulations and said see how the appointment goes on Wednesday but if we wanted her to she would happily be our midwife. I don’t have her details, so it would have to be via my Mother-in-Law initially if we did choose this option. I have not met the midwife at the doctors yet so don’t know what she is like, and I am very open minded like that, so not worried about meeting her and talking to her or anything like that, likewise with my Mother-in-Law’s friend, and I have not met her either.

My question is would you opt to stick with a midwife at the GP surgery or opt to have a midwife that is a friend of a family member who knows how good they are at their job, but is also one of the lead midwives at the hospital you will be going to? The only difference is we would have to go to the hospital for the midwife appointments if we go with my Mother-in-Law’s friend, which is no hardship as it is only about 15-20 minutes away.

Obviously things may be different after Wednesday and meeting with the midwife at the GP surgery, but taking aside personality and being based on connections and role in the hospital what would you choose?

I will still go on Wednesday as originally booked whatever the decision.

Thank you.

I would personally go with the friend. I saw a different midwife via the gp surgery for almost every visit, some great and some not so good. If I had the chance to have one midwife throughout, particularly if they were recommended I would have gone with them

We get one named community midwife at the GP surgery where I am and get her mobile number to contact her, and up to 4 named midwives at the hospital from a certain number of weeks. If the friend is good then go for it

It would depend on the motive, Does your MIL really care or is it that she just wants all of the inside information on your pregnancy and so wants her friend to do it? if i didn't mind then i would chose the friend.

Also i don't really know what you mean by a hospital being fully booked, Fully booked for what?

I'd almost definitely go with your MIL's friend. Having had both, the difference between a good and bad midwife is huge - a bad one will miss things (e.g. forget to measure your bump, or forget to plot it so not notice there's a problem) or can be rubbish at following through and doing stuff (like booking your 12 week scan). You won't know and are unlikely to be able to tell from a single appointment at your GP how good that midwife is. Given your MIL's friend is lead midwife she is also likely to be more experienced. Only seeing a single midwife through pregnancy makes a huge difference too, you get to know them and they get to know you. Only thing that would make me hesitate is how busy your MIL's friend is - will she have enough time to do proper appointments with you?

I personally would choose the health centre/GP as it's closer to my house and parking is a disaster at the hospital. Even our appointment letters state that you should aim to arrive onsite at least an hour before your appointment in order to get parked!

Maybe you should ring this midwife friend before your first appointment to hear what she actually has to say - at the minute your getting information third hand though your MIL and your husband. I've never heard about a hospital being booked up before.

You'll find out at your first appointment whether you will start out with midwife led or consultant led care, so that might change things for you anyway.

I haven’t spoken to her myself but I have seen the conversation between them. My Mother-in-Law’s friend is on annual leave this week but said go ahead with my midwife appointment at my GP surgery this week and if we want to talk things through with her or have her as our midwife to get in touch next week. She has said the midwife we will see at our GP surgery is lovely, an older midwife with many years experience.

I do take on board the comment regarding whether my Mother-in-Law wants the inside information on my pregnancy. Me and my Husband have said if we choose her friend we will say to her that everything must stay between us and don’t want things to get to my Mother-in-Law if she starts asking her. I know professionally there is patient confidentiality and I don’t doubt her in this, but I would rather verbally state it.