Just want to know my baby is ok!

[Hannah7284]

Hi All,

I’m 35 and was with my husband for 6 years then separated last August, but didn’t fall pregnant once... I had a very short fling in January and guess what... I found out a week ago today that I’m pregnant!

I went to the doctors on Monday expecting to find out if the baby is ok and she just prodded my tummy and said I’m about 19 weeks!!! I explained that I had been smoking and drinking the whole time unaware and she didn’t seem concerned. I was told to self register with a midwife which I had already done that morning so was just waiting for a call with an appointment to meet her. I asked if I could at least hear the heartbeat for reassurance the baby is ok and after rummaging in her filing cabinet she said someone had taken her equipment but she’s sure everything will be fine with the baby...

I then had a call from the midwife on Tuesday who has booked me in to see her on 2nd June. She said I had missed my first trimester scan and very close missing the second but she was going to put me forward and if in time I’ll get a call with a scan appointment... Other than that, I will have to wait until I’m 21 weeks!

So this means a long wait to find out if the baby is even ok! This is my first pregnancy and I have no idea what I’m doing or what to expect. I’ve thought of going up to A&E to see if I can at least just be checked over, for all I know the baby may not even be breathing! I just can’t relax or even think about things like telling work, or look at what I need to buy until I know it’s ok!

I’m hoping you’ll be full of advice as I haven’t a clue! Thanks in advance!

Hannah
x

Hey Hannah, sounds like a stressful situation and I'm sure everything is absolutely fine. You can pay for a private scan - I booked in and there was one in my local mothercare. Best of luck x

There is absolutely nothing to go to a+e for. I understand you're worried, but no woman knows their baby is ok until their first scan which can be 9 weeks after they find out they're pregnant.

You can book a private scan if you can't wait for your scan appointment to come through

Can you afford a private scan? DH and I just couldn't stand the 8 week wait between scans and opted for a private one which was far more detailed and loads of pictures and we were allowed to film too

You may get called up quickly for a scan as they have a limited time frame to check for things. When I had my 20w scan I was told I would need another as they couldn’t get all the info they needed and I was called in 72 hours and they wanted to book me in that day. Keep checking your post and any missed calls from numbers you don’t know as it might be them. Hopefully you will get a scan date very soon!

I didn't know I was pregnant until 18 weeks. Been taken strong prescribed drugs due to medical condition I have. And it took me ages to see baby. And hear heartbeat. I was given a rush scan the week after being booked in with midwife. Baby is all ok.

Congrats on your pregnancy!! Please don't be so worried! It must be very difficult I know! I'm 5 weeks and have to wait till the 12 weeks to have a scan!! I saw my midwife and it was all very casual! I think that's normal, your having a baby! Your not sick!!
I hope it all goes ok for you and the wait for the scan comes round quickly xx

You could be my friend and I hope you have her happy ending. She gave up her dream of falling pregnant as was menopausal... then fell pregnant but didnt realise for the first 4 months ... she smoked and drank heavily most nights as was going through a bit of a bad time ( to put it mildly ) her little girl is 10 years old now, perfectly healthy and top of her class ... you can’t change what happened you can only effect things going forward... also I am
Sure that the risks are minimal
In the first few weeks... mothercare do scans if you can afford a private one x x

Private scans are about £35 in some mothercare stores. Hunt one of those down.

My mum smoked and drank with all three of us in utero, as was normal in the 1970s, and we were all fine.

Unless you are literally alcoholic some drinking isn't a problem (I heard that only 10% of actually alcoholic mums had babies with foetal alcohol-related problems). The whole way 'risk' is presented is kind of mislead - yes, it's better not to, but smoking or drinking doesn't mean your child is instantly harmed/in danger.

Also, baby won’t be breathing, babies don’t “breathe” until they’re born, the placenta and umbilical cord will be taking care of all of their oxygen needs for them.

A baby/pregnancy book might be a good idea!

Don't worry, OP. At 19 weeks, there's nothing that can be done at a and e even if there is a major problem. Try to relax, you don't need to do anything right this second.

In your position I would pay for a private scan to get some reassurance. The baby is almost certainly fine but it might help you feel less worried.