Miscarriage - "a common process" as per NHs / options ?

[lovelondon8]

Hi - I have had a second miscarriage within 4 months of being pregnant via IVF and both times it hasn't even gone beyond 4 weeks. NHs took a casual approach as this is a 'common' process and to my detriment I found out how women are not treated with respect- I was sent to EPU the following day after waiting in urgent care for 6 hours bleeding heavily with horrendous pain and seen the GP who said there was no concern to be had as my BP was normal !! The emotional pain is beyond explanation but I have to carry on - We have urged the NHS to carry out further investigation as to why this is happening - for us to make the right decision - either surrogacy or adoption from foreign countries - America or India etc
The experience has left me and my hubby pain stakenly scared , I am fearful of another disappointment if I go for another transplant, hence the above options.

Any information, any input will be very welcome into the issues .... Sorry if this sounds bit scatty, I am trying to get my head straight, come to terms with the loss. Thank you

Factually miscarriages are very common occurrences and although potentially very emotionally traumatic, they no not generally require much in the way of medical attention

Unfortunately the risk increases with age but they are common at any age

@lovelondon8 so sorry to hear about your experiences, it doesnt matter how common miscarriages are everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, dignity and respect.

Thanks Nicci - so appreciate your message - not that I'm looking for sympathy but trying to deal with the mishap and being 45 isn't easy- feels like time is passing by- concur - no matter how situation is common and can happen - no women should be treated like rubbish. that makes any situation even worse.

Hi - your message is re-assuring, at least there are places then that cares and not just after the only. We will look into Herts and wessex. Hope its not too far off from south east london :) Just wanting to be a mom is simply so hard - if I knew this I would not have bothered about career and had children..... Thanks for your message. x

hi ya, I am sending you all my good wishes and good energy and pray that your wish comes true - My father used to say- if disasters don't kill you they make you stronger"- you seem like a very strong woman and hearing your situation gives me more strength as to what I am taking about. I had a termination due to medical reasons at 13 weeks few years ago - found it very difficult to cope with and waited to feel right before trying , focussed on my carrier a bit. We women endure a lot and say little - it is hard at times to stay strong and I am kind of blaming myself as I might have left it too long ..... ? a lot of emotions at the moment but I am sure time will help me come to terms and move on positively. I am sorry for your situ but I a sure there will be light at the end of the tunnel - as I am trying to convince myself. take care of yourself and keep in touch x

Thanks FN, this topic is ignored as a common matter but it is a matter indeed to talk about because of the pain we all suffer from silently. We will be meeting the Clinical Director on Wed to ask certain questions .... IVF processes are reassuring but the clinics are definitely after the dosh - standard in this clinic has not been great although it was recommended to us - I have made several complaints about the administration of it so thing of raising it is with HFEA - it felt that Im an object who will pay, get it done and if any issues then sent to NHS - it wasn't explained at all - don't want to go on with my cynicism ...
trying to be hopeful. thank you for your message.