No baby at 7+5 or 9+2 scans, just a yolk sac but Pvt consultant wants me to wait another week and not opt for miscarriage management ?

[MinAngel]

Hi All,

This forum seems to be the only place where I feel I can vent out right now!
I'm on my 3rd pregnancy, both previous ones I Mc'd. I went for a scan at 7+5 - no fetal pole seen/no hb just a yolk sac. Went back at 9+2 and sac had grown but still no heartbeat. I was told to think about how to manage the miscarriage and was going to go in yday for the medical management. However my private consultant reviewed the scan and said it was too early to make a decision and I should have a repeat scan in a week. He said the sacs progressed but not enough however he doesn't think I should rush this. I called my nhs consultant today as I feel like I'm in limbo, he also advises a repeat scan in 6/7 days before making a decision.
The private consultant has liased with Bham women's and is hoping to refer me to Tommy's clinic and the consultant there has also said I should wait another week.
I just don't know what to do? The wait is agonising especially when I already know it's not viable as by now I should have seen something. But I feel that if I choose to have the medical management I'll piss them both off and they won't help me in the future.
Has anyone been in this situation. I'm not hoping for a positive outcome but why after 2 scans do they think a 3rd is required?

Xx

Sometimes, rarely, it’s possible to miscarry unknowingly after a bfp and then get pregnant again; thus leading to really wonky dates.

I don’t want to get your hopes up and feel shit even saying it, but I have heard of this occurring on MN and a certain ‘miscarriage’ has turned to a baby. So they may want to cover their bases in case they’re seeing a 4-5 week old embryo.

@Teddybear45 thank you for replying. This is what the private consultant is saying he keep saying 'we will make a decision IF this is a miscarriage' but at the same time said there's been progress but not enough.
I track ovulation and test with clearblue so I'm sure of when I ovulated and conceived. This is the worst ever, I felt I was handling this one until yday!

Yeah this is shit because it probably is a miscarriage but they want to just be 100 percent sure. But the hope is awful. Do you have support at home?

@Teddybear45 yes I have a very supportive husband however he's on the consultants side and telling me to take their advice. They are men though and not going through it are they? The emotional stress is draining and I feel so anxious as I'm constantly thinking about it. I just don't think I ever want to go through this again.
I plan to do away on the 9th or June and that's now on hold, when I told the consultant that his reply was 'that's not a priority right now' 🤷🏻‍♀️ Don't get me wrong he's been amazing but they don't have all these extra hormones racing around in their bodies!

A friend of mine had an ivf pregnancy early last year and, even though they were certain of her conception/embryo transfer dates, they made her go back weekly for scans over 3-4 weeks to be sure it was not progressing before they would move to miscarriage management. I guess, they want to be more cautious because of the potential for a chemical pregnancy followed by a quick conception!!

I went through this with my MMC and it’s agonising. I had 4 scans in total before a consultant would finally confirm it as a MC. As far as I am aware, while the sac is still growing they have to keep an eye on it in those early weeks to make absolutely sure of the diagnosis. I completely agree with you - it was absolute torture as after scan 2 I just knew there was no hope, and I was dragged back twice more. In the end I opted for surgical management and was booked in days later, and I wished I’d asked for this a lot sooner. Wishing you all the best with it OP, it’s such a dreadful situation to be in.

Hi All,

I've started bleeding so I guess this will all be over sooner than I thought, relieved in a way as I can move forward with managing the miscarriage.
I'll go straight to epu tomorrow to see what they want to do. Xx

I’m so sorry @MinAngel please look after yourself. I hope you are able to get your referral to the Tommy’s clinic, I’ve heard wonderful things about them

@MrsEG

Thank you. I went to the epu this morning as soon as they opened and was seen by a dr who said as bleeding wasn't heavy I could go home and wait until Tuesday (that's when my next scan and appt is) so I had a complete meltdown! It's the only way they listen!
I told her that if I start miscarrying naturally I lose the chance for genetic testing and that it's no point telling me to go to A&E over the weekend as I know they can't do anything!
So after 40 mins or so she got a consultant to see me. The consultant said my consultant has already instructed genetic testing so I can either have the erpc tomorrow as no appts today or collect the tissue/remaining pregnancy product myself in a container. I mean are they serious? I did say what would you like me to do sit at home all weekend ready with my container? Or pop into my handbag if I'm out and about? I think she got the msg in the end and has booked me in for erpc tomorrow.
I just wish I'd gone with my instinct and had the procedure on Monday.
It's so rubbish and these medical professionals just treat you like a number.
I've been referred to Tommy's but have read it can take some weeks to get an appt even a couple of months.
Xx

I’m sorry OP.

When I had a MMC the sac kept growing and growing but nothing inside. I felt like it was clear what had happened but the nurses wouldn’t “call it” for a long time although they did say if I wanted medical or surgical management I could. I waited but honestly I acted like the pregnancy was over rather than cling to the 1% chance. It helped that having thought about it I wanted to do expectation management anyway so it didn’t feel like I was delaying medical management.

@Cookit so sorry you've gone through the same heartache.
As stressful and emotional draining this is, the nurses/dr's at epu don't always help. I know they have a job to do but at the same time we know our bodies better. One thing I'm 100% sure about is I won't ever go to epu again. Either private and if things weren't great then private again. I hate the place, it's even worse when all the staff know you as I've spent so much time there in the last 12 months. Although the way I feel I don't want to do this again. It just seems very unfair and when there's no answers what to you do?
The genetic testing will most likely come back normal as have all my other tests so I just feel it's getting worse with each pregnancy. Not being negative but more real about what the future holds.
Have you had any investigations into your loss? Xx