Anxiety. Should I tell midwife?

[Oldpairofsocks]

Hi everyone,

I feel stupid for even sayingwhat I'm about to say.

Anyway, had an EMCS less than 2 years ago, currently due in November. I was given the impression that this time I could choose a VBAC or c section, and I definitely want a c section.

Talking to a friend she said I shouldn't assume I will get one and proceeded to tell me stories of other women who were forced to VBAC.

I'm already quite and anxious person and my anxiety is skyrocketing. Seeing my midwife in 2 weeks but would like to send her an email beforehand to talk about it. It feels easier when I put it in writing than in person.

In one word: I'd like an ELCS not a VBAC, friend scared the hell out of me, now am and anxious mess. Even my mother told me I need to be honest with her.

Bit concerned what she's going to do afterwards in terms of referrals. Should I do it?

Midwife here, short answer- you will get an Elective LSCS.

You might be referred to meet a midwife to discuss 'birth options'- these pathways are aimed to increase the number of people opting for VBAC. You can decline this referral is you wish and just insist on seeing the Obstetric Consultant.

All the best and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Nobody will force you to do anything, you might have to have a couple of appointments to discuss it but you'll get an ELCS if that's what you want. Congratulations on your pregnancy

@NomineCornelia thank you so much! You have no idea how much better I feel. I shouldn't probably listen to unsolicited advice from "friends", who are not HCP.

@mynameiscalypso Hope so!

Will my midwife be fine if I mention in a message how anxious I am? Or will she think I'm an idiot?

You can if it will make you feel better, and I think it will be important that she understands you have anxiety so that she can best support you. Regarding birth choices, she might well say to wait until later in pregnancy to discuss. But please don't worry.

P.S. definitely not an idiot and please don't think of yourself in those terms

Speak to your midwife. Anxiety can easily become worse postpartum so better to havd the birth best for you. And they may get you counselling or more support for after.

@NauseousMum thanks. I have never dealt with it before, I'm a bit concerned they will involve social services.

No they won't, they would have no reason too involve them unless you wanted to harm yourself or your baby. It is horrible though and you do wonder.it.

I did wonder and fear too. I had terrible intrusive thoughts, and believed they would judge me and watch my children. But they were great, i had counselling for cbt which helps you cope and heal. Talk to your midwife, they can really help.

Hope the PP have put your mind at ease a bit!

I'm pregnant with my first and have had awful anxiety about the birth. I first mentioned wanting an ELCS to a community midwife at 24 weeks who said there wasn't much she could do other than tell me to speak to my usual midwife. As it happens I was diagnosed with GD and switched to consultant led care but still see a midwife. The first consultant I spoke to at 30 weeks was generally completely useless. The second at 32 weeks was fantastic, I went in with all my concerns written down and she gave me a couple of print outs to read and recommended a website. At my 34 week appointment with another consultant 2 weeks later I signed the consent form for C-section and I'll get my date next week at my 36 week appointment. I was expecting it to be a lot more difficult as it's my first but they seem to take anxiety really seriously.

I was in quite a bad place with my anxiety, not sleeping properly, nightmares, not being able to think about anything else but since that 32 week appointment the fog has really lifted, I hope the same happens for you because I know how horrible it is!