Anyone in foster care when younger

[Dillydilly55]

Hi all,

I had my first midwife appointment today. Went over all the usual family medical history etc..
She asked me if I had ever had any involvement with social services when I was younger and I said yes. I was in care from age 9-18. 7 years ago!! I was one of the lucky ones, stayed with the same lady the whole time and I’m still in contact with her. I feel like as soon as the midwife hard this her whole attitude changed. She then said she has to contact them to make sure that my support has finished !!! Like she can’t take my word for it!!! I haven't heard a single thing from them since they day I turned 18!! On my 18th birthday my social worker phoned me to say happy birthday and that my care had now finished and that she is sending my end of care package in the post, which I didn’t receive.
Don’t want to blow my own trumpet but Ive been with my partner 10 years, brought my first house at 21 and have a fantastic job that pays good. Against all the stereotypical odds I have done well for myself.

I’m really worried that they are now going to look at me like im stupid and monitor my mothering more etc. I can’t even tell you the horrible feeling I have that I’m being judged because of my past that I had no control over.

Feeling very emotional:( xxx

Oh I'm so sorry her attitude changed when she heard that.

But look at it this way - you dont fit the stereotype, but there is a stereotype (for a reason - a lot of care leavers need additional support in pregnancy and parenting) and she doesn't really know you. She cant take your word for it because then she would have to take everyone's word for it. She is just doing her job, but it's very disappointing that she wasnt more reassuring about it.

Congrats on your pregnancy and congrats on your success, it's not easy for those leaving care (especially without a care package!) so you've done fantastically.

That sounds awful OP, as you say you can't change a past you had no control over. Its good that they are trying to provide extra support for those who may need it and I'm sure they will back off once they see you don't need it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I think you have every right to blow your own trumpet! Well done you! You have made it against the odds! It is really difficult being left on your own at 18 even if you have not been in the care system and many young people would not have made it.

The midwife is just following the processes set down. She will contact social services and they will confirm that your support finished a decade ago. And if she is judging you, I hope it will be with admiration! That is how most people would see it!

I’m a social worker and quite frankly I’m shocked. You sound like you’ve done amazingly in the face of adversity, stay strong and common sense will prevail! Good luck starting your own little family

Thank you everyone. I really hope it isn’t the case but I’m just really paranoid. Xxx

You're in your late 20s? Don't worry - nothing will happen.

Hi,
I’m 25
Thanks