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Original poster

Pregnant after miscarriage anxiety

11 replies

tomatan1990 · 20/05/2019 11:50

Hi all

So I had a mmc at the end of March at 10 weeks. I have by some miracle managed to get pregnant again on our first cycle of trying since then. Now 4 weeks, found out Saturday and have just been so upset since convincing myself I am going to lose this one too. Does anyone have any advice to help get me through the next 8 weeks? I am scared to let myself be happy about it in case I get my heart broken again :(

OP posts:
WhiteVixen · 20/05/2019 12:25

Hi tomatan, sending lots of love to you. Flowers

I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with my second child, after three years secondary infertility issues and a mmc discovered at my 12 week scan back in 2013. It is a scary time.

One thing that helped me this time was to remind myself that this is a new egg and new sperm. The previous miscarriage has no effect on your chances of having either a further miscarriage or a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

Would you look to get an early scan at all? I had a private one at around 8 weeks which helped reassure me massively, as my mmc was a blighted ovum, so there was simply a small pregnancy sac but no foetus at my 12 week scan. To see the little blob with it’s heart beating away at 8 weeks was very helpful. I just needed to know that there was something there.

I know it’s hard, but just try and think positively. Right now, you are pregnant. Take it one day at a time.

Tobebythesea · 20/05/2019 12:34

I’m 27 weeks pregnant after 2 mc at 7 weeks last year. My only advice is to try keeping as busy as possible, to only focus on the next week and pay for an early scan.

Original poster
tomatan1990 · 20/05/2019 13:07

Thank you so much whitevixen. I think I will get a private scan, I assume I won’t be allowed an nhs one as I’ve only had one mc. Maybe I’ll go about 8 weeks as that will split the time up and give me something to focus on.

Trying to keep busy! Thank you both and sorry for both your losses Flowers

OP posts:
Babycakes1989 · 20/05/2019 13:10

I’m 22 weeks pregnant after a mmc last year - I and many many women can relate to how your feeling your not alone. I’m only starting to relax slightly now that I can feel him moving around in there but you will find your always worrying about something! I would also recommend early scan for piece of mind. Also before the 12 week scan I tried to focus and plan things to distract myself and as hard and as not nice as it sounds, put being pregnant to the back of my mind in the fear of being hurt again. The odds are good so please try and stay posI give just know your not alone ❤️ Xx

Original poster
tomatan1990 · 20/05/2019 17:46

Thank you baby cakes! Flowers

OP posts:
Kate3150 · 20/05/2019 17:54

You are not alone 💜💜💜
I had a MC last year and it was probably the most traumatic thing I’ve been through. So quite natural and normal to experience anxiety. I had a major toilet paper panic this afternoon as I thought i saw a brown rusty speck but after examining the roll (I sound mad I know lol) noticed it’s full of different coloured specks so most likely to be that.
After a mc, I think it’s a constant worry in subsequent pregnancies until that baby is in your arms.
I know I haven’t offered much in the way of advice but i think sometimes knowing others feels exactly the same as you is a comfort 🌸 x

Original poster
tomatan1990 · 21/05/2019 09:42

Thank you Kate I appreciate that and you’re right it helps to not feel alone! I told some of my closest friends last time and was pretty shocked at how unsupportive they were after the mc so am scared to tell anyone this time.

Oh and you’re deffo not mad with the toilet paper checking I think we all do it! X

OP posts:
MrFlibblesEyes · 21/05/2019 15:09

I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and I still check the toilet paper every time! I think it's natural after a loss to worry, it's the brains way of protecting itself from more hurt by not allowing you to get too excited just incase. I found it helped counting every milestone (yes, I've got to 6 weeks, 7 weeks etc) and knowing that the risk was going down with every week. I'm only just now allowing myself to believe that this will end in a baby - just need to get over the mental hurdle of the 20 week scan next week. Remember that having one loss does not in any way make another loss more likely, I hope everything works out for you x

Jeds55 · 21/05/2019 16:46

I had a mmc in Dec 16 and got pregnant in July 17, like you I was very very anxious that it would happen again. We had a private scan at 8 weeks which really helped put our mind at ease so I would recommend it. I also had other private scans but it was the first one that gave me the most relief. I personally wanted to make sure that I found out as soon as possible if the worst happened again as with mmc it wasn't until 4 weeks after.
Remember though the odds are on your side - this is a new pregnancy and every day / week that goes by the chances increase (found info on this online and found it comforting). Wishing you a healthy 9 months

Original poster
tomatan1990 · 21/05/2019 22:01

Thank you both. Going to look into scans tomorrow. I am trying to take each day as it comes and be positive that in this moment I am still pregnant Flowers

OP posts:
WhiteVixen · 22/05/2019 11:10

If you’re anywhere near either Tamworth, Nottingham or Coventry, I’d thoroughly recommend a scan studio called Meet Your Miracle. That’s where we went for both our early reassurance scan and a gender scan. Very reasonably priced and excellent service.

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